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Show r y i Xi 1 i I I r ' P J l! U ! i iff i VA v Is f l . ' ' l) : ' I J 8fe ; j j (DycgflqDjps By Brian Gray It's become one of the rites of spring... It's time once again to honor the recipient of the annual Cyclops Dumb Quote of the Year Award. As in past years, there was stiff competition. In the end, however, there was no question as to the worthiness of this year's recipient. Several months ago it appeared as if Sen. Jack Bangerter was a shoo-in. His statement that AIDS victims should be painted red and banished to an isolated island earned Utah national publicity and editorial cartoonists began sketching designs of leper colonies on Antelope Island. But Bangerter' s comment lost its lead for the award when another Davis County representative blurted out his own Dumb Quote of the Year. The legislator stated that he was "personally offended" by seeing people order a drink with their meal in a restaurant. (If he is offended so easily, we suggest that he also paint himself red and banish himself to a community which has no restaurants.) This man deserved consideration for the Dumb Quote of the Year award. But soon Joy Beech, the Families Alert spokesperson, spokesper-son, popped into the newspapers with her criticism of a Clearfield Clear-field High School home economics teacher. The teacher, she claimed, had answered a question about contraceptives in class and had subsequently included a true-false question concerning contraception on a classroom exam. "It's a criminal offense!" she stated, pointed out that the teacher (Public Enemy No. 103) could be slapped with a jail sentence and a stiff fine. Instead Beech said she did the "compassionate" "com-passionate" thing of merely turning the teacher's name into the state for further investigation. Many readers claim that Joy Beech should win the Dumb Quote of the Year Award for making a mountain out of a molehill. Well, maybe Joy could win the Stupid Act of the Year but her statement lacks the creative language necessary for the Dumb Quote Award. Remember other Utahns support Beech's movement. I personally know 17 other people who admire Families Alert and at least four of these people have high school diplomas! Now it's time for this year's winner. It was an easy selection. The quote came out of the scandal at the Timpanogos Mental Health Center. The state's auditor general is charging that corrupt cor-rupt business practices and misuse of public funds cost the taxpayers $3.5 million over a four-year period including exorbitant exorbi-tant salaries and contract fees that netted Carl Smith, the former director of specialty programs, more than $700,000 in a single year. Smith has since resigned but one of his loyal employees hasn't. In fact, she sees nothing wrong with his compensation. The employee, quoted in a Salt Lake daily, said, "I think Carl Smith is worth $700,000 a year." The lady didn't say what Smith did to earn such loyalty; neither does anyone know what he did to justify such pay. But such a comment brings new meaning to the term "mental health." Then it got worse. Commenting on another resigned executive, execu-tive, Craig Stephens, director of administrative services, the same employee justified his exorbitant salary and contract by saying "At the time of the audit, Craig was supporting three Mormon missionaries on church missions!" Okay, let's get this straight... It's apparently decent and moral to loot the public treasury in order to finance Mormon missionaries. mis-sionaries. The many Mormons who have scrimped and saved to send their sons and daughters on missions are apparently naive. They shouldn't have eaten casseroles and popped nickles into missionary banks. ..What they should have done, according to this woman, is seek a cushy job with a state-funded agency and then grab the money as it floats through the system. Theft isn't theft if it's done for a good cause; Robin Hood is alive and well in Utah County. Of course, the state auditors won't appreciate the lady's comments as much as you readers. Their report says "Excessive "Exces-sive contract payments hurt the center's programs because the largest share of contract funds was paid to people in administrative administra-tive positions, not to client care." That's an honest quote, not a dumb one. But Cyclops gives no award for honesty. Our Dumb Quote of the Year Award goes to the loyal employee at the Timpanogos Mental Health Center. Like Joy Beech, she's one in a million! PHOTO BY ROGER TUTTLE In spite of the recent cold temperatures, these harbingers of spring continued to bloom. |