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Show fOFFTmEDTfOR'SDESii- M SSS by Bill Ma-h,' So far this year, I have . not been approached by a panhandler n the Union asking for my spare change." I consider the panhandler ucky because I vowed last spring t0 punch out the first moocher I encountered this year. Frankly, no one in my social set has any spare change. I take my Chronicle check to the bank and the cashier gives me rolls of pennies. pen-nies. Just as I'm leaving the bank an officer of the Salt Lake Traffic Violations Bureau arrives to make a collection on my traffic ticket account ac-count On weekends I take my wife up to the laundromat and we drop nickles in the dryer and watch it go around for kicks. That's our luxury. Besides, there's nothing spare about my change. I've got it budgeted budget-ed to where I live on 45 cents a day, and if I don't have that 5 cent hard roll for lunch I might be found in a snowdrift behind the bookstore. I'm living testimony to the nutrient nutri-ent content of bubble gum. Actually I'm doing better now than when I lived with Mark Lyon and Randy Milligan. Back then, splurging meant we went to Smith's Food King and bought a new box of Quaker Oats. The times we ate decently, we couldn't afford to wash the dishes. Mark Lyon's idea of a big date was to invite a girl over to split a sixpack of Coors and a package of Oreos. He was so cheap he used his pipe cleaners until the fuzz wore off. And as for Randy Milligan, I recall a time when he lived on applesauce for three weeks. His breath was like apple-jack after the first week. One day I bought 20 pounds of cottage cheese for $2.00 at the Cream-o-Weber dairy. It was gone three days later. We were thinking of raising earth worms as a subsistence crop. So we got pretty rankled when pan-handlers hit us up for money in the Union. It always seemed to be the same one, or maybe they fell into generalized types. It just seemed like the same ones. There was Child ol the Universe (Bra- less), who posed assn discovering the Esw " sity, Ac,2 :. on lunch break fro,, had the same scheme You must support sex is " achieve Hipness. Gosh V" 9'e. Often, beside he, ' Young FolkSinger, His' mise was ,hat your Kris Knstoferson.Lalei" -noon he could be seen pmball machines...! knocks. My favorite thoM," I Wail with a Dog. This 4'' artist said she needed kt feed her puppy, and being-' for dogs, I usually Ca,ejr' one day I saw the puppy ..' around the Union yam,,.' . master. an But this year pan-handl-fre activities - has quietly subs .tio may get through the falr'm professional moocher-in.ftni But just wait until spring sai to |