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Show MOODY'S WORD He decided that if the money was already given to the A D. that at least the students should tell the Department how to spend it It didn't matter to him that the students didn't tell any other Department at the University how to spend their money, Dreamy Dan just figured that if the Athletic Department was going to have that much dough he should have a voice in how it was spent. Dreamy Dan started writing down all the things that he would cut out if he were asked his opinion. "Let's see," he said, "football players don't need steak dinners, they can practice three hours a day plus go to school, plus take abuse from narrow-minded student columnists on just a diet of Cream of Wheat." D.D. also decided that footballs weren't a vital part of the football program either. "Why can't they play with potatoes," thought D.D. "they are the same shape and color, and a lot cheaper." Just then Dreamy Dan's friend and fellow columnist on "The Dreamland Gazette," Yo-Yo entered the office. "How, D.D.," burps Yo-Yo, "want a shot of this good 'ol Injun firewater, it's guaranteed to make urn think straight." "Just what I need," mutters D.D. "It always helps to have the spirit when you are writing on something that you know nothing about." "And you know nothing about the Athletic Department," says Yo-Yo, "right," sings Dan, "Do you?" "No, me don't know nothing about it either," cracks Yo-Yo who by this time is looking all strung out, "that's why I am doing my latest column on it also." "Great," says D.D. "maybe we can put our heads together, drink a couple more bottles of that firewater and together write enough B.S. and slander to fill the basketball arena." "Good idea," says Yo-Yo. "Yo-Yo," says Dreamy Dan in wonderment, "wouldn't it be great if every student had a bottle of this firewater, then they could see things as clearly as we do." THE LAST WORD: The preceeding was written with the deer hunting season in mind. We feel that one cheap shot deserves another. If Bv BRUCE WOODBURY BV Chronicle Staff FARYTALE.Onceuponatimeat Imland University, there lived , voung mild mannered reporter to that great student newspaper, !The Dreamland Cazette, named Dreamy Dan. Now one- day Dreamy Dan decided that he would right the wrongs that were right with Dreamland "U" (or something like that), so he sat down at his (rusty typewriter to write his expose. He sat at his typewriter for the longest time but no piercing thought would enter the portals of his brain. Then he remembered back to breakfast and knew the reason why. "Oh rjan, you didn't have your Wheaties," he said to himself. Quickly Dreamy Dan rushed down to the local high spot known as the Puddle and ordered the breakfast of champions. However, much to D.D.'s dismay the Puddle was out of Wheaties so he had to settle for Cocoa Puffs (chocolate flavored of course). Back at his typewriter with his head now full of catchy little sayings (chug, chug, Cocoa Puffs) Dreamy Dan decided to write about something that he knew very little about. "Ha, Ha," he thought, I will write about the Dreamland "U" football team (known as the Dreamland Dream Whips) and the accompanying department that goes with them. Since D.D. didn't know any football players, he reasoned that anyone that would go out in the middle of a cow pasture every Saturday afternoon and chase a funny looking ball around, must be a little soft in the head. Our earstwhile reporter also reasoned that since he didn't like football and football games that no one else did either. He wondered then why the DU Student Tribunal (DUST) had voted to give the football team and the DU Department of Athletics so much money. Doing some investigating around D.D. found much to his chagrin that there were plenty of students who did like football games and other athletic events, in fact they were the majority. Even Dreamy Dan could figure out that when DUST gave the money to the Department of Athletics they were just playing the feelings and wishes of the majority of the students. This fact didn't sit very well with D D.so he had to find something e to knock the Athletic Department about. |