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Show Quick Exodus Saturday Night at the Nudies By KAY ISRAEL In order to do away with the cultural lag in Salt Lake City a couple of our enterprising merchants mer-chants have brought what Playboy would describe as "Nudies" to their theatres. Not everyone can be a connoseur of these classics. One has to be "adult" or simply able to afford the two dollar charge. In a feeling of commitment to the Chrony readership I and my trustworthy trust-worthy friend Friday sacrificed approximately three and a half hours of our homework. After observing ob-serving the other people in the theater several helpful hints ought to be passed on to you. First, dates may be desired on your behalf, but take my word for it: the answer is just one big emphatic em-phatic "no." If she likes the show you'll probably have doubts for the rest of the evening and if she doesn't you'll never live it down. Thrilling Plot If you want a thrilling plot don't go in the first place. The two main features dealt with a lecherous old man that wanted to hypnotize every girl in the country and force her to meet his every wish and a lecherous young man who wanders all over what looked to be Foothill Foot-hill Blvd. looking for the "Golden Maids of the Sun." In the first film the old man makes a pass at a car hop and she turns him down immediately if not sooner. Five minutes later she is in his apartment apart-ment performing a strip tease in a $500 costume. Somehow the question of how she gets to the apartment or how many average car hops have full outfits just doesn't seem to be answered. Girls of the Sun The second film's protagonist was a sprightly man of 30 who spends three-fourths of the film running after four topless maidens. This in itself is incredible because his build is comparable to that of Harris Vincent's and the "Girls of the Sun" would have been flattered flat-tered to have been mistaken for Phyllis Diller even though she wouldn't have. The film concluded with the announcer saying, "this is the end" and two members of the audience immediately gave prayerful thanks. A third warning is that of attire. at-tire. Old clothes are best. You don't want to be recognized. Football Foot-ball players leave your letter jackets jac-kets home. And for heavens sake if you're an IK, don't wear a bright red coat and usher people to their seats. Next, be sure to watch the news reel. This way in talking to others you can stress the educational educa-tional advantages and will have something other than the films to discuss. The last thought is if they ask you for your I.D. its still smart to cover up your name with your thumb. You don't want to give them too much incriminating evidence. Well fun seekers this should just about fully prepare you for the new "culture." As far as a review of the films let's just ask one question. Chief Fillis, where are you when we need you? |