OCR Text |
Show I Strategic Bathtub C You say someone stapled your IBM card and the machine added your Social Security Number to your tuition and now they're trying to collect? And you just discovered that the reason you've been having hav-ing so much trouble in your French class is that it's a Russian class and it's too late now to withdraw? And the University just announced they don't teach your major anymore any-more and you were supposed to graduate at the end of the quarter? quar-ter? You simply haven't discovered the secret of successful men through the ages hydrostatics. This is the sensation you feel in the bathtub. A closer study of events than History 76 offers shows clearly the relationship between bathers and winners. Military men have found the bath particularly beneficial. General Gen-eral Henry Knox, George Washington's Washing-ton's right-hand man, carried his personal tub with him from battle to battle. During World War II Winston Churchill often planned his diplomatic and military strategy in the bathtub. On the other hand, Louis XIV, an all-around flop, contented himself with one bath a year. Maybe we should be sending bathtubs to the boys in Viet Nam instead of go-go girls. Napoleon also considered the . tub the ideal place for strategic thinking. Unfortunately, so did the Duke of Wellington. Both men bathed just before the Battle of Waterloo. If this sounds inconsistent incon-sistent with bathe-and-you-can't-lose theory, let me explain that while Napoleon settled back in a warm tub, the Iron Duke chose the rigors of icy cold water to set the mood for the coming event. The type of stimulation that comes from a warm bath seems to be related more to literary than military feats. Cigar-smoking poetess Amy Lowell got her inspiration in-spiration by studying the patterns of light and bubbles in her bath water. Gabriele d'Annunzio, an Italian writer, retreated to the tub to enjoy his own verses. To prevent pre-vent his creations from smearing down the page he had all his favorite fav-orite lines printed on special waterproof water-proof paper. This might not be a bad idea for textbooks. But like flying and telephones, bathing was slow to catch on and its early advocators were often condemned or ridiculed. When the Lord Mayor of London requested a tub for his residence in 1812, the city council voted the idea down as scandalous and extravagant. English plumbers were never sure of a regular income until 1837 when parliament paid to have a bath installed in Buckingham Palace Pal-ace for Queen Victoria. Now you musn't think that pe0niP cit days were all narrR 'n 2y unclean. RemembT H f tions were like then V. SaV simply climb in tap. Bathing was a btfe 5 of ten dangerous. Ma i e tubs were made rf ihe ea Sir stayed unconS" 1 after water had been i w r carried to them One French Sabot ' . Peasant's woZnZl 2 hard to get into a Lj d, to get back out of ot harder 2ft like ladies' slipperst lo were 1 ned with mlnck T chlUr5i They stayed 0gS Sah J? the bather was J ? , again. For the more adv?idlrty nb there was the cradle XT? suspended between two Lv !?s and a hammock and rocS i rH!i'ke nUff More often than not tt J dumping the poor fel ow t water uncerimoniousl 0 , J" U'a floor. 7 on the brin to f Today anyone can take the laS portunity to soak and ret f meditate, or connive, or cc2 kn? just escape into daydnCK me and-cold-running-comfort reht sea no longer any excuse for Zne 1 to be gotten the better of by 2 1 a simple, docile creature as ?f Park Building or an IBM machine Now is there? e' year |