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Show THE 4fify DIFFICULT DIAONOil The young motter wai frantic. Hr two-year-old daughter howled and howled and howled. "Whatever la the matter with the child?" asked the father In despair. His wife sank limply Into a chair and began to weep, while the baby went on ; howling. "I d-d-d-on't know," sobbed the distracted dis-tracted mother. "It's either because J she's eaten too many strawberries or' aba wants more !" Hygeia. Engagement Ifflolsncy. "Is It true," asked the young man, "that since you came here you havej become engaged to Tom, Fred, Billy and Arthur, as well as to me?" The j girl assumed an air of disdain. "What Is that to your' she demanded. "Just ' this," he replied briefly. "If It's so, and you have no objections, we fellows will all chip In to buy an engagement ' ring." ON THE RUN First Burglar Gad, that wua a nx-rer nx-rer escape ! Second Burglar Didn't yer have time to take anything? First Burglar Didn't have time f take me breath. 8afety First H mi not movtd by chivalry, Nor feared th look of scorn H offered her hie street ear seat To keep ber off hie corn. Net Quite. The Press Man (Interviewing notorious notori-ous personage recently released from prison) And then shall I say that you walked forth from the grim gates of prison a free man? The Notoriety No, no, you caa't say that. I had the wife with ael London Humorist. Political Slokneas. "I see Senator Smirk Isn't going to run at the next election on account of sickness." "Sickness? Why, he looks hale and hearty to me." "Tea, but hli voters are sick of him." Obvious Evidence. : Suitor I say your daughter has promised to marry me and all that sort of thing. But one must be careful. care-ful. I'd like to know If there la any insanity in your family? Father Judging by what you say, there must be. ONLY PART OF HIM PILL "When you caught Willie la tkt pastry pas-try didn't he fall?" "No; only his face feU," Obscuration. An orator, to be ezeot. Must ramble thrvurh pfalloleaTf Aod make It bard to and the (Mt In all the phrneologx To Insure Control. Edith I don't see why they need so many rehearsals for Sophie Strong-arm Strong-arm and Percy Plnhedd's wedding. Belle Oh, that's so the bridesmaids won't laugh when she promises to obey. Terrible. "Tea, Mabel, I had to break my engagement en-gagement to Charles. He was so exacting." ex-acting." "What? He really wanted you to marry him?" Bald Man's Luek. Friend (to hunter) What kind of luck did you have? Hunter Buld man's luck. I combed the woods without finding i single bare. Threatening a Bolt. "You will thunder down the ages," said the constituent with fulsome flattery. flat-tery. The great politician looked at him perplexedly. "Sometimes I tm. aglne I am going to thunder," he said To Help Matters. Theater Manager I enn't use youi play, sir. It's too long fur the stage. Amateur Playwright But, 1 say-aw say-aw look here-aw! Can't you length en the stage, you know? Boss Want a Job, do yer? There's try little to do around here. Applicant That's all right, boss, very Uttle will do for me. Reckless Money. How often men of wealth unwks Show curloue eccentrlclttee, And per large sums to advert Their dubious domeetlultlesl Physical Culture. Howell Was Bowell alive when they found him la the well? Powell Tes, It was a case tt dee? fern thing. |