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Show Child's Handicap Can Wreck Family, March of Dimes Pediatrician Finds Parents of child with Down's syndrome (mongolism) receive information in-formation and counseling about the chromosome defect which causes this condition in about one of 600 births. By BERNARD WEISSKOPF, M.D. Director, March of Dimes Birth Defects Center University of Louisville School of Medicine The birth of a handicapped child into a family may often lead to handicapped parents. A family may find itself overwhelmed over-whelmed emotionally by the birth of a child with Down's syndrome, spina bifida or other birth defect. Such a handicap becomes equally real and cruel for parent and child. Whereas, previously physicians have been essentially concerned with the child's abnormalities, we are now becoming more aware and concerned about the emotional needs of the parents who give birth and raise such a handicapped child. The family which is unable to accept its child's defect and consequent limitations may cause emotional emo-tional problems in the child which will further handicap him. Scores of "telltale symptoms" symp-toms" expose the handicapped parent. For example, the home atmosphere may become supercharged super-charged with accusations of blame, either toward one or the other parent or toward a professional. pro-fessional. One parent may remind re-mind the other that he or she didn't want to have a child in the first place. Often parents find themselves them-selves guilt-ridden as a consequence conse-quence of bringing a defective child into the world. They may find that they possess ambivalent ambiv-alent feelings toward their handicapped child, which may further enhance their guilt feelings. feel-ings. In many cases, they find themselves unable to accept their child's handicap and "shop" for medical advice which will help them in their need to deny the problem. Family grief over the birth of a handicapped child can become be-come chronic. Sometimes the parents' interrelationship can be seriously affected and resort to divorce courts can ensue. Firm statistics on the frequency frequen-cy of divorce in such handicapped handi-capped families is not yet available. The tragedy here is that while the parents face their own emotional upheaval, the child may retreat further and further into his own world to avoid the stormy one of the adults about him. In this atmosphere, adequate home management of the child's problems becomes most difficult. diffi-cult. With the recognition of the importance of the emotional needs of the parents, more and more emphasis is being placed on adequately understanding these needs and dealing effectively effec-tively with them. At The National Na-tional Foundation - March of Dimes Center at the University Univer-sity of Louisville School of Medicine, careful evaluation of the family and their emotional needs are undertaken. Treatment, Treat-ment, where necessary,' is provided pro-vided by the Center or by a referral re-ferral to another agency for such. Emphasis is placed on helping families with their feelings feel-ings of guilt, hostility, shame and often felt need of denial. Unfortunately, elimination or reduction of these feelings and needs is by no means an easy or short term undertaking. undertak-ing. But one must deal with this problem if one is to help the child. In therapeutic counseling sessions, the parents' reactions and responses are varied. They may prove hostile to well-meant well-meant and sympathetic professional pro-fessional help. They may be overcome by shame. And yet, for many, there is a sense of relief when, during counseling, they are finally made to understand un-derstand and helped to accept the truth about their child. We find few of these parents alike, but the cardinal point is that we now recognize the needs of these handicapped parents whereas before we were preoccupied with only the child's problems and were often prone to overlook the suffering of father, mother and other siblings. It is gratifying to find, however, how-ever, that not all parents in these difficult circumstances are necessarily "handicapped." Actually, many are able to make the proper adjustment without too great a difficulty. In many families, the parents come to look upon their handicapped handi-capped youngster as a special child in need of extra understanding, under-standing, love and care and one which strengthens rather than weakens the bonds between be-tween father, mother and sib-, sib-, I lings. |