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Show Wednesday, May 9, 1990 THE SIGNPOST 7 Sandra Bernhard detests 'geekfests' (USAACIN) It's the trendy business lunch crowd nt the trendy Royalton Hotel cafe in trendy Manhattan. Business types with power-radiating neckwear try to figure out whether to order the broiled bluefish or the grilled broccoli. A real geekfest," announces Sandra Bemhard, in a voice loud enough to be heard by the diners trying to study her without being noticed. The kind of people, in other words, that Bemhard regularly skewers in her performances. People she sees as having pretensions about art and status. People who buy into the boxy culture of the mass media, who have crossover dreams but aren't sure which culture they're crossing from or to. They're on view here at the Royal ton and, in a more theatrical form, in Bernhard's new film. More thnn a concert movie of Bernhard's off-Broadway hit, "Without You I'm Nothing" gives visual form to Bernhard's aggressively quirky sensibility, celebrating and sending up show business at the same time. Like her stage show, which ran at the Orpheum Theater in the East Village in 1988, "Without You I'm Nothing" blends Bernhard's self-dramatizingly cutting commentary with her ironic rendering of tunes from 6uch diverse musical sources as Prince, Burt Bacharach and Hank Williams. "I wanted to tell a narrative," says Bernhard, her rail -thin form looking even railier dressed in black. "This was for the cinema, not the theater. I wanted it to be much more visual, more fun, more exciting." With her intial off-Broadway success, Bernhard received pressure from some advisers to simply film the stage 8how and sell it to cable to HBO or Showtime: That's fine if this was some small, onetime show," she says. "But not for something I'd put four years of my life into. I was not going to sell it down the river that easily." By MARSHALL FINE, Westchester Rockland Newspapers Copyright 1990, USA TODAY Apple College Information Network Meet the inlaws from hell Crystal Crest announces the best The Crystal Crest finalists have been announced, they are: Joseph F. Breeze Athletic Achievement Jody Marshall, Karen Packman, Shauna Turnev, John Wagstaffand Susan Norton. William P. Miller Friend Of Students Award Kevin Simmons, Lee Borup, Juliana Larsen, Alan Dailey and Joly Walker. Young Alumnus Of The Year Murray Olsen, Jon Greiner, J. Todd Andersdon, Robert Lee Bateman and Robert Cox. Woman Of The Year Rebecka Larsen, Jodi Budge, Melinda Roylance, Susan Norton and Ellen Barry. Master Teacher Of The Year James Christian, Craig Oberg, Gordon Allred, Brian Davis and Karen Lofgreen. Personality Of The Year Gary Toyn, Melinda Roylance, Darren Ewing, Treg Julander and Byron Anderson. Wildcat Achievement Guy Watkins, Gary Toyn, Tracy Peterson, Melvin Feller and Doug Peterson. Scholar Of The Year Dan Alsup, Dee Larsen, Michelle Berry, William Luna and Carol Norman. Organization of the Year Signpost, WSC Cheerleaders, Orchesis Dance Theatre, 88.1 KWCR and Chatonelles. ARO Organization Of The Year RHA, Otyokwa Sorority, Amnesty International, Delta Epsilon Chi (DECA) and Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity. Man Of The Year Guy Watkins, Neil Hollands, Dee Larsen, Melvin Feller and Doug Peterson. Talent Of The Year Laura Richey Carling, Teresa Bramwell, Ryan Kemp, Susan Seifert and Gregory Duffin. Q&A (continued from page 6) great love of his life. Another flaw for many viewers is the way characters talk and act. The script is full of vulgarities, racial slurs, obscenities and malignant racial terms. These derogatory terms are all uttered in a casual way like they mean nothing either to the speaker or listener, which in itself adds horror to the racial aspects of the film. Characters also slur their words, never bothering to enunciate anything. All the characters have thick accents and none of them speak the same slang. They also talk fast so the viewer has to pay close attention. "Q&A," despite these flaws, is worth seeing. It challenges the viewer and does not offer easy answers. It will probably be the one intelligent movie coming to town before Hollywood offers its usual round of mindless summer fun. mm? Wis! 1 iii! Brilliant new wedding sets, with a selection of fancy shape accent diamonds from our newest collection. Imaginative styles...for those who want more than you can see at any store in the mall. And since we're not paying the high mall rent, our prices are better. Liberal Financing Comparison shoppers buy at pun's jewelry Certified Gemologist Appraisers 3920 Washington Boulevard - South Ogden - 627-0440 Hours: 10-6, Friday 10-8 - Closed Sundays By Paul B. Johnson Arts editor of The Signpost So, you've met that special gal and she wants you to meet your folks. What do you do? How do you act to make that first and oh -so-important impression a good one? In an attempt to ease some of your fears of this dreaded event, this week as a public service we proudly present the following cheery scenario entitled "Meeting the Folks," which could more commonly be known to the aspiring bachelor as "Descent Into Hell." "ItH be all right," your gal says in her characteristic perkiness, "dad will love you." She pauses for a moment to thoughtfully chaw her gum and stare at the sidewalk. "Well, maybe not love you, being that you don't have a job and are basically a total loser who I really don't know why I'm even bothering to see maybe next week 111 have a decent boyfriend." You thank her for her kind words and you as the merry couple continue strolling down the sidewalk of destiny to her front door. The door opens just as you arrive. There is a sudden eclipse, a looming shadow, an incredible massive giant, King Kong with a pituitary deficiency; the very sight of which quivers your knees and sends your ego cowering to your stomach in a jellied, bubbling, queasy mass. Even your shadow strains to tear itself free from your sneakers and run screaming down the block in the presence of the horrible, gigantic figure; so big that even Goliath's mother would have remained a virgin had even the speculation of giving birth to such a huge beast dawned within her young brain. "Hi, dad," your sweet gal says. The man (to use the term loosely) says nothing, as if oversized gorillas were capable of speech. He just stands there. His steam-shovel of a hand scoops into a grocery-bag-size brown (See FOLKS page 10) New Polymer Gel System Replaces Popular Acrylic Nail Treatments That Damage Natural Nails Weak, brittle, slow-growing nails are being covered up with acrylics, silk wraps, press-ons, glues, powders, polishes and hardeners. 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