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Show THE IDEAL AND REAL. The ideal husband is a kind-hearted noble man, with the figure of an Apollo and the beauty of an Adonis, who pays the same delicate attentions to his [unreadable] the table, eats his meals at a downtown restaurant, and only remembers that he is married when he is obliged to pay the household expenses. <br><br> The ideal housewife is a woman who keeps her home in the most delightful order, who cooks the most delicious dinners and presides at the tea-table with the grace of a queen; the real housewife is a woman whose face is red and blazed with cooking over a hot stove, whose voice is sharp and earnest and who just "slats" things around anywhere, no matter where, in order to get her work done in season for a buzz over the back yard fence with the neighbors. <br><br> The ideal politician is a man whose breast is heaving full of patriotism and whose interest in the welfare of the country is second only to his allegiance to Divine power, the real politician is a man with his hands full of wires, pulling in all directions from the dram-shop to the pulpit, to worm himself into an official position with big pay and lots of nothing to do. <br><br> The ideal baby is a little fellow with the daintiest tinted cheeks, curliest hair, sweetest little "coo," and with angel's wings just sprouting from his shoulders; the real baby is a young wad of humanity with open valves, screaming all the time, fuzz on his bald head like thistle-down, and as for angel's wings - well, they don't fasten them on with safety pins. -- New Haven Register. |