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Show r PECK'S BAD BOY fl IN AN AiESHIP J 1 By HON. GEO. W. PECK i I Graduates From Orphans' Home i (Copyright, IVOR, tr W. Q. Chapman.) iOopj rliht In Orest llrltaln.) There Is no encouragement for Inventive In-ventive genius In this orphans' homo thnt I nm honoring with my pntronnge. I always supposed that an orphan-ago orphan-ago wns n plnco whero they tried to mako nn orphnn feel that It wnsn't such a great loss not to havo a regular regu-lar homo nmong your people, ns long ns you could bo lovingly cared for In big bunches by charltnblo pcoplo, who would net llko n high Rchool to you, and when you got a diploma from nn orphans' homo you could go out Into tho world nnd hold up your head llko a college graduate but I can sco from my cxpcricnco at this alleged homo that when wo boys get out tho poll co will hnvo n tab on us, and wo will bo pinched llko tramps. What encouragement Is thoro to learn anything but being chambermaid to cows? Ceo, but I nover want to look n cow In tho faco ngaln. When I failed to milk that cow and alio galloped gal-loped all ovor tho place, nnd kicked my liver around whero my spleen ought to bo, tho onoeyed warden of tho plnco told mo I must practlco on that cow till I got so that I could milk her with my oyes shut, and thnt I wouldn't get much to cat until I could show him that I was a bo-mllk-maid of tho thirty-third degree. I told him I saw a machlno last yenr nt tho state fair that had a suction suc-tion pump that waB put on to tho cow's works, nnd by touching n button tho milk and honey flawed Into a pnll, and If ho would get such n machlno I could touch tho button nil right. Ho Bald tho orphanaga couldn't afford to buy such a machlno, but if I wnnted to Invent any device to milk cows I could go abend, but It w.ib up to mo to pro-duco pro-duco milk, one wny or nnother. Woll, un Idea struck mo Just llko being be-ing hit wtth n baseball bat, and In a short time I wns ready. I got a clothes wringer out of the laundry and went to corrnl tho cow. I thought If n clothes wringer could squeeze tho blue water out of a wash tub of clothes. It would scuieor.o a pall of milk out of a cow. so I took my clothes wringer and tho milk pall and got undor tho cow mid gathered all her four welners together In my hands and put tho ends of thorn botween tho rubbor rollers, Just easy, nnd tho boys gathered rpund to soo whoro my Inventive In-ventive genius wor going to got off at. Then when my nudlonco was nil ready to cheer me, If tho machlno worked, I took hold of tho handlo of tho mnehlne, which was across my lap, and turned tho crunk with a quick motion, until nil tho caw's welners wont iiirmign tietwcen tho rollers, and I noticed tho cow flinched, and Just then ono of tho sophomore boys throw n glnnt flrecrackor under tho cow'b basompnt noar tho milk pall, Tnrd- cncTTTiiorsfllCTstmr-rrrrrronirsr when I was cranking her up n second tlmo nnd turning on tho high .speed clutch, tho cow bloated ns though sho had lost her calf, nnd the went up Into tho air llko tbo cow that Jumped over tho moon, nnd sho went across tho country on a cavalry charge, with mo hanging on tho handlo of tho wriugor with ono hand, on her tnll with tho other, and tho bojy giving tho orphnn bcIiooI yell, anil the cow bellowing bel-lowing llko a wholo drovo of cattlo thnt hnvo Bmolletl blood around n slaughter houso. Gosh, but I never hail such on excursion. ex-cursion. Tho cow went 11 round the houso and on to the parch whero tho manager nnd some woraon were, nnd finally rushed Into tho kitchen, nnd everybody camo and prlod me looso 0 clothes wringer, when I ought to havo known that a clothes wringer would squeozo tho milk up Into tbo second story of tho cow. I t'Ul hlmjjf had novor been a dairy farr'et, .ohyruy, and n .cow was n r.ovt proposition to me, and ho said I rtould go and llvo pn bread and water till doomRdny, nnd that I was tho worst orphan llo ever saw, and he pushed mo out of tho room. Tlio boys mot mo when I camo out of tho presenco of tho one-eyed manager, man-ager, and wo went off Into tho woods nnd held nn Jndlgnntlon meeting, and pasned resolutions condemning tho management of tho orphanage, nnd I suggested that wo form a union and strlko for shorter hours and moro food, and If wo did not get It, wo could walk out, nnd mako tho orphan school bUBlncRs close up. Wo discussed what wo would do nnd say to tho boss, and Just beforo supper sup-per tlmo wo lined up In a body beforo tho house and called out the manager and mndo our demands, and gnvo htm 15 mlnutcH to accept, or out wo would go, and I toll you wo looked saucy. I never saw nnythlng net as quick from tbo cow, and got tho clothes 1 "I Am Going to Have Him Mended and Keep rjlm for a 8ouvenlr," 8ald the Pussy Woman. ' Gosh, But I flever Had Such an Excurslonl wrlngor off her vital parts, nnd shooed her back to tho barn, nnd thon thoy took me to tho manager's ofllco, and I fainted away. When I enme to tho ono-oyed manager man-ager had a bandage ovor his noso -wtiuro" thffirnrrnrttra TroTrrcaTn'Trrg: or hit him when ho tried to turn the handlo back to roloaso tho pressure on the cow's bananas, and ho wan so mad you could hear him "sis," llko when you drop water on a hot griddlo. He got up and took mo by the neck and wrung It Just llko I was a hon hnvlng Its neck wrung when thoro Is company coming nnd ho dropped mo "korpluiik" nnd said I had ruined tho bwt caw on tho place by flattening out her prlvnto affalru (to that nothing hut skim milk could ever get through tho teats, and ho asked 1110 what In thunder thun-der I was doing, milking a cow with as that strlko did. In flvo minutes tho munngei camo out and sold ho wouldn't grant a thing, and besides wo woro locked out, nnd couldn't over got back Into tho plnco unloss wo crawled on our hands and knees nnd Blood on our hind fcot llko dogs, and barked and begged for food. For n fow minutes not a word was Bald, then the boys pitched on to mo and another boy thnt had brought on tho Btriko, and gavo us n good licking, and made us run to the woods, and when wo got nearly out oiiuB turned nntl nil tho bravo dniTH were golni? to break up th0 n"? S woro down on tholr seats on 1? B begging llo dogs to be uC?B becauso flipper wna ready AB chum ant mo were ' pulling 1 timber, vonderlng where it., H meal wai coming from. H Wo firo tho only boys In thuti: of strlVcrB that lind sand nLjm Ftand up for union prlnc. ,iP, iU Is usually tho enso tho felio9, B hod tho most gravel In their VH had llttlo else, and I was no fl hungry In my life. H A diet of fried bull heads au fl milk, nnd sour bread for a fetlfl In tho orphanaga had left tne fJfl appotlto that ought to havo hai ,fl course banquet nt once, but we fl on for hours, nnd finally nfl railroad track and followed Itvfl .My chum slopped nt a freight fl on a side track and began to tfl nrohnd ono of tho oil boxes on a vlfl nnd when 1 asked Mm what It'fl going to do, ho Bald that to a trfl man tho cotton waste and tbo ci! In n hot box of a freight car wufl ns good ns a shrimp salnd, and bt'H gnu to poko tho stuff out ot tbefl box to cat It. Ho said tho UrqH tramps were ofton saved by caUctflj of hot boxes. I sworo that I never cat no hot box banquet, uB pulled him away from tho boxctrflj as a hrakeman camo along MM hook and a can of oil and a buchflj wntcr to cool it off, and wo escape W I told him wo would have a Jfl supper all right, It ho would lUclfl We went Into tho llttlo town uH wns getting dark, and nil tho (wjfl were out doom looking up Intojfl sky, nnd Baying: "There It Is, I sctfl and I asked a man In front of iflj loon what tbo excitement was ittfl and ho Bald that they were watrll tho balloons from St. Louis, about fl miles away, which woro sailing toB Did you ever have au Idea il-fl you so sudden that It made you ilM Well, I was struck with ono soqfl that It mado mo snicker, and I pijfl ray now chum away and told hlatsfl wo would get supper and a phfl sleep, and that was to go Intotfl woods near whoro the people i.fl looking up Into tho air, .and nbeifl balloon went over, after It got and dark, wo could set up a ;eH,l though murder was being done, Jfl when tho crowd enmo to see whatiB tho mattor, ho could say wo fell oitfl a balloon, and landed In a tret tfl squirmed down to tho ground. H Well, I didn't want to He, tmttfl chum, who had onco been In a refcH Bchool, did not caro bo much tk lying, so ho was to do tho talking iflj I wag to bo deaf nnd dumb, as tboB tho fall from tho balloon had knodB mo silly. Well, when we saw n light latfl sky over us and tho pcoplo wererfl lng wild ovor thinking they BawittH loon, wo began to scream like rifl cats, and groan llko lost souls, and;S for "help, holp." When tho mM camo on tho run, nnd when they fcxaH us with our clothes torn, and our ittVB1 standing on end, and our eyes buiH out, my chum, the old liar, itfl when wo wcro leaning over tbo baieH of the balloon to boo what town tH were passing over, wo tell out li H treo, nnd were so hungry. H Well, tho way thoso good peq-H swallowed that yarn was too comlaH and they, picked us up and toot kH Into a houso. A pussy woman mo undor her arm nnd said: Ttf dear, every bono In his body Is bmtfi but I saw him first, and I am golnft havo him mended nnd keep him fori Bouvonlr.,jind I hung my legs J "arms down ibI would bo "hcuv7rc sho drngged mo to tho house. AD' said was "pio, plo, pie," und she fl' I wns starving for plo, and when tM got us In bed, with nlco night Wru on, they crowded nround us and I gan to food us, and wo took oyerytbW from soup to mints, and went to WP-and WP-and tho last thing I beard wa3 ballool talk, and the women who drew me to tho Bhuirio said: "Tho wayB of 1'r1 denco nro past finding out," nnd 1 rolled over In bed I heard my ciu In nnother bod say: "You can bet yo1" swcot llfo," nnd thon tho pcoplo M gan to go away, talking about the t row escnpo ot thoso dear boyp, and Bf pussy fat lady held my hand strokad my aching Blomach until l"1' after midnight, and thon she tiptoed oft to bed. I spoko to my chum and said: It work out all rlghtT" anJ groaned and anld: "Coo, but I et W t much, I otter havo saved some ot 1' & for breakfast," and then wo" went v 9 sleep In nice feather beds Instead B thoso beds nt tbo orphanage made ol breakfast food. |