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Show , BRIEF ANR BREEZY. After Miss Gladys' wedding, the Vandcrbilt millions will not be Count-less. After Mr. Taft gets through reassuring re-assuring the Filipinos and a tew more people who are feeling nervous, he should come home home and reassure re-assure his campaign managers a bit. 'It is hoped the divorce suit against Senator Plntt will not divert his mind from .official duties, or the Senate Sen-ate may do something his express companies do not like. Horace Fletcher the foodist, recommends re-commends spaghetti and onions as a steady diet. It might be all right if a man didn't mind loosing his family and friends. A West Virginia man is going to run for Governor just to please his ,young wife, but would he go through every department store in town, to match a ribbon for her? There'? the test that makes strong men quail. There is still a chance for some ,J statesman to make himself famous Yl by advocating government regulation $ of baseball grounds. Every time, Hetty Green talks for V publication, she betrays the fact that1 : she is blessed with common sense as i well as the long green. t. w From his latest interview in New York, it is evident that Henry Wat- " lerson got a heavy bump when he . i fell off the Bryan band wagon. I 1 I Hi The Boston Herald daily prints a x j column headed "Queer things Worn- i'j en arc Doing." It must be quite a i task to keep the matter boiled down I ' to a single column. I I i Governor Vardaman says "the re- j public is tottering to its fall." He ' must have his seasons mixed, for the ' republic is really staggering to its winter. i ; Oscar Hammerstcin has confessed j that he lias all the money that he ' i wants. He and Andrew Carnegie can now go off somewhere and be j I lonesome for the rest of their lives. j 1 "Heavy firing" was reported from the President's camp in Louisiana, Louis-iana, but it is only when heavy firing is reported from the White House, . 1 that the office holders begin to get l uneasy. 1' M A St. Louis contemporary say Mr. ,h Taft is our first war minister to go S around the world talking peace. Just f think of the splendid dinner invita- 1 tions he would miss by going around 1 talking fight. After having spent his summer va- if tion in telling the country of the Ji great work done by Republican liber- j ators in the time when he was "no j spring chicken," Uncle Joe Cannon I is now preparing for his winter's 1 work of suppressing the House of 1 Representatives. 1 The Virginia gentleman who has ' been trying to get George Washington's Washing-ton's name on the honorary roll of flj the Ananias club, is liable to get N called down for taking such a step 1 t without the advice and consent of its distinguished founder. II B Dallas, Texas, has long boasted of I a man with a nose five inches long and now Fort Worth comes along with a man whose mouth is so large that he can't keep bis false teeth In. , Must be the result of putting his j ' foot in it every time he opens his mouth. I A' Pittsburg man who claimed that he killed his wife by accident while , joking, has been sent to the peniten- ' '! tiary for seventeen years. By the end of that time, he may come to the I conclusion that nature didn't intend j him for a humorist. 1 ' |
