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Show SEEN SEENand SEENnd and HEARD HEARDMAIN , HEARD I-lEAUD I lEAUD - - c e > , . - MAIN STREET STQT STREETDo [ ( . P ; 7 , iaf.r iafr iaf.rDo . ' I I II I II I IDo Do JOU you ; ou like hke the book I gave JOU you youfor JOU'fer ; oufor 'fer fer for ' Christmas Johnnie Johnme ? asked the the'I thefond thefond ' fond aunt auntI 'I I 'Ifond I dont don t kno\ kno knoreplied kno s \ replied replu d the boyMother boy boyMother boyMother Mother said I had to wash \ \ ash myhands mY mYhands myhands hands before I could look at it . . . . No said Hank . Schmidt I Ihaven Ihaven haven t smoked any of those clgals cigais cigaisI clgalsI I [ I got for Christmas Chnstmas Im 1m going gomg to tok tokeep tokeep k keep p them until my son decides he hewants hewants wants \ ants to leal leain learn n to smoke 1\\ 1 1ants . * . . . I Nov No v son let daddy play playlth withthe \\lth lth with withthe \ \ lthI lththe the toys for a while \ hlle I . * . . . POST CIIBI CIIRI&Tl\IAS CIIRI&Tl CIIRITl IAS CilRITMAS & $ TMAS \ CAROLTwas CAROL CAROLTlas CAROLTwas I IPOST T\las T las Twas \ theeek the \ week \\eek eek ueek \ after Christmas Chnstmas ChnstmasAnd ChnstmasAnd ChristmasAnd And all through the town townShoppers townShoppers townShoppers Shoppers nerc "ere ere were " huntingI'or huntingFor hunting huntingFor I huntingI For I'or Ior ' bargains bargams mirked m'Uked mUked marked ' down I Definition Defimtion DefimtionIDEAL DefinitionIDEAL DefinitionIDEAL IDEAL WEDDING When thei the theife thewife wife \\ife ife \ is a Tieasure Tleasure Ti easure and the hus I ( band is a Treasury . * . . . It may be hard to lue lase In e on onone onones onones one ones S income meome but it Jt Jtould \ would \\ould ould could be bea bea bea a lot haider halder to live hve without it Jt . . . _ * . New Yorkers have toork to \ work \\ork ork hard hardto hardto hardto to keep the theolf \\olf olf wolf \ \ Irom from the door andthe and andthe andthe the columnist eolunmlst colunmist from the keyhole . . . . DefinitionALIMONY Definlhon Definition DefinlhonI I ( ALIMONY PAYMENTS PAY1IENTS Couponsclipped Coupons Couponscl1pped Couponsclipped cl1pped clipped fioin flom from the Bonds of Matri Matrimony MatriimonyPerci , mony . . . . Perci Percj Percy Whiffletree figUl figuied ed bls his blsdaughter hisdaughter hisdaughter I IPercj daughter ought to be ready for the theBattle theBattle theBattle Battle of Life She already hasbeen has hasbeen hasbeen been in m four fourengagements engagementsw engagements fourengagementsPOME w . . POBIEOur POJ\IE POJ IE POME POJIEOur POMEOur \ Our dog- dog dogis - JSCry is JS \ lery \Cry Cry eery highly bred bredOne bredOne bredOne One ot of those high l11gh toned to'll toll tousers touserslie towsersHe ' sers serslie lie s so refined and nice mce Us tIs said saidIII saidlie saidHe III lie ' never pants--he pants he pants-he pants - - he trousers . . . . There was only one thing thmg strangein strangem strange m in the speech made by Dad Gumnuts Gum Gummlt Gummats mlt mats s slfe wife \\lfe lfe \ a pause . . . . Prosperity Prospenty ts a l coming eornmg backand back backand backand and almost everything ever } thing lhmg Is out of ofthe ofthe otthe the red except e\cept e cept \ , girl sirib girls , . finscrnlils fingcrn\lIs fingcrn lIs fingernails " \ . . . . I IDehmhon Dehmhon Definition DehmhonCENSOR DefinitionCENSOR DefinitionCENSOR CENSOR A guyho guy \ who \\ho ho knows knO\\S knO S knous \ mOleUlan molethan mole moletlian tlian Ulan than he thinks thmks ' you j'OU jOU should . . . * . You dont don t have to be crazy toenjoy to toenjoy enjoy swing suing music but It helps helpsLera . . . . Lera Lef'a Lefa ' Genstel Genstei admits that JOU you JOUcan youcan ioucan can t kiss a girl unexpectedly The Thenearest Thenearest Thenearest nearest iou JOU you can come to it is to tokiss tokiss tokiss kiss her sooner than she thought thoughtyou thoughtyou thoughtyou you \ would ould . . . . Patient The size of your billmakes bll bill bllmakes billmakes ! makes my blood boll boil 1 ' 1Doctor Doctor That will \ III be fifty dollars dol dollars dollars lars extia extla for sterilizing stenl1zmg the systern sys systern systern tern . . . . Percy ' Whiffletree 'VluITIetree VluITIetree Wfuffletree away on 1 a ' . atrip Ttrip , trip sent ent his hJS ' \ wife ife a check for fora fora fora a thousand thou.and thouand . kls kisses cs The ice JCC m\1l m 1l mvr m1lca.hed mvrcashed m-iiicashed m iiicashed " \ - ca.hed cahed cashed , . it the next ne\t ne t neat : \ daj day da } . . . . Certainly this is a good shipthe ship shipthe shipthe the captain assured the passengerWhy passenger passengerWhy passengerWhy Why this is its maiden voyage . . . . She After we are married Ill I \\ll ll will willshare \ willshare \ llshare ! share all your troubles and sorro sorrowHe sorrows sorroS sorrow sorrowsHe \S S \ SHe He But I have no troubles and andsorrows andsorrows andsorrows andsorrowsShe sorrows sorrowsShe She "Well Well " JOU you JOUl1 } ou will \\l1 l1 ' \ ! have after afterwe afterwe we \ e are married marned . . * . . DefinitionIDEAL Definition Defmllion DefinitionIDEAL DefmllionIDEAL IDEAL MAN Smart enough tomake to tomake tomake make a 11 . lot of money and foolishenough foolLsh foolish foolLshenough foolishenough enough to spend it freely . * . . . And an Optimist OptimistS \S S is " \ a man who whollleave 11 11leave 11leave leave his fiont flOnt door door unlocked all allnight allnight allnight night in hopes his wife " will "ill ill walk walkout walkout walkout out on him . . . . Why do you look so sadI sad ? I left my door unlocked lastnight last lastnight lastnight night and my wife wUe came back . . . . DefinitionOLD Definition DefinitionOLD DefinitionOLD OLD TIMER One who can ean re remember remember remember member when the Board of Education Education Educa tion was a pine shingle |