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Show Candid Microphones The Comic: Broadway, what a I street! . . . They tell you to be dif-i dif-i ferent then when you're different, they call you a character! Hey, I wonder, maybe I'm asking too much? . . . Maybe I oughtta cut my price? . . . Maybe I oughtta change my agent? . . . Yeah, but who else j would have me? ... I'd write my ' autobiography but I don't have enough old jokes ... If I play one more benefit they'll be holding a I benefit for me . . . One thing I can't ! figger ... I'm good-looking I got ; talent I got class I got charm J my material is stolen from the fin-j fin-j est comics So, how cum I'm not ! working???? j Broadway Merchant: Nah! It's not what it usta be! . . . Hands me a laugh . . . "The Gay White I Way," hah! . . . shootin' galleries, honky-tonks, an' custard stands . . . I What've they done to My Street? . . . j Why, in my day people didn't dare ' walk down Broadway unless they ! were dressed formal . . . An' ya I shouldda seen 42nd street Ziegf eld's "Follies" on one side George White's "Scandals" on the other an "Abie's Irish Rose" playing a seven-year stretch . . . Men in silk toppers, soup-n fish n diamond stickpins stick-pins . . . Beeeyoootiful chorus girls in gorgeous gowns . . . Ain't the same Broadway . . . Y'know, I'm gettin' good and tired of it all . . . One a' these days I'm gonna sell this hot-dog stand and retire. The Panhandler: Kin ya help a fella, bud? Mcbbe stake me to a meal, or sumpn'? T'anks, bud! . . . The cheap bum cats in Lindy's an' on'ey glz me a t'in dime! . . . 'Scuse me, pal kin ya stake a fella got no carfare to Joisey. Whattaya mean, I'm drunk? ... I jis loss me carfare home ... Ah! Here comes that guy good fer a buck . . . Hey, Mr. . . . kin ya spare a Jee, t'anks! . . . Say, old boy, kin ya spare a fella two bucks for a hotel room fer the night? . . . Keep the whole five? . . . Jee, t'anks! . . . Whatta routine. Eddie, my boy, you're a genius! . . . Say, buddy, kin ya spare a wbaddya mean you're workin' this side-a-the street? . . . Beat it before I hitcha over the head with me bankroll bank-roll . . . Gosh, it's startin' ta rain . . . Guess I'll quit for the night . . . Hey, Taxi! ! ! Memos to All Editors: Objective of the Red blockade was to prevent any of the German leaders favoring us to get out. They will be massacred if we do get out. In the intelligence game, it is a sacred obligation to deliver your friends from an exposed position or you will never get help again. (In spite of denials, British Intelligence got Mikolajcyk out of Warsaw.) The general Commy objective is to discredit dis-credit us with the Western Union alliances at the same time they set up the Second New Germany. The intelligence departments of all major powers are engaged right now in the Second Battle of Berlin. Czechs completely reject the suicide version of Masaryk's death. They believe that a strone-arm squad of Russian intelligence called on Masaryk. They produced documents and told him he was going to do as he was told or stand trial for treason. Masaryk had a pistol and when ho reached for it the squad finished him. His body was laid out in the courtyard. There were no visible bruises, and the Czechs say that had he jumped his body would have shown it. Of even deeper significance, there were four Masaryk servants in the apartment that night. They have disappeared. If Masaryk had committed com-mitted suicide, they would not have been spirited away. Manhattan Murals: The grue- I s;ly-dccornted car festooned with j stale lemons and the sign on it: This Cars a Lemon!" It's a new . too . . . The Chinese restaurant on West 43rd street named "Old :-'u,er iiubbard's" . . . The hint on 1 ZTnCnn KImcr Leterman's j Sndship ViSHS M3ke I Senator Barklcy, the Kentucky 1 a Georgetown dow j ; hll hh, Girltowi is electric ' iaZ'nS SCandal wncerning ! ' famcd dlrcctr who paid $10 000 n accountMo hush his starlet trou-, trou-, ' ' ' Frcdd'e Bartholomew's slue I Snatchi,make.eXcUing when : ne catches up with him. The star's j ' -d cash disappeared o' " ' ' ! Jhe President of the U. S. was' a Jashmgton newscaster's gwTLT ' other ante meridian.8 He re of m'LJd! mS bbdeS in th |