Show Pity Poor Actor Hes He's a Busy Lad LadBY L a d' d BY JEROME LACHENBRUCH OW should have lived to toB L LONGFELLOW B 5 see a movie It seems seema too bad that he should have written written writ writ- ten about life Ufe and the pursuit of happiness without knowing some thing tops about the motion picture actors actor's actors actor's act act- ors or's troubles Fancy his writing about sublime when at the studios one la is supposed to be a 1 policeman at 9 a a. a m m. a a. burglar at 11 a a. a m m. and a business business business busi busi- ness man mss at 2 in the afternoon Had H H. W. W Known mown a a. few cinema stars he might have taken pity on them and told the long admiring public something of or the tortures they undergo for tor the sake of appeasing their a appetite petite for entertain entertain- ment Perhaps he would have written a poem equal to the occasion At least his ideas would run ran something like this Lives of actors should remind us us They cant can't make their lives sublime N Now a a. dude and then a hobo hobo hobo- As th the camera man yells Time Com Comes Tom Moore before the ls Seedy white wing for a day Then a a. shave a suit of or broadcloth broadcloth- That's what Io some Borne e folk think is play Take Tak WIn Win will with Rogers with Ws his ing Hope that stamps the cowboys cowboy's trade See Hes He's loving half a a. village That's the way his pictures picture's made Dont Don't forget torget our Mabel orabel Normand Wilful hoyden dreamy fay How she he romps and how she dances dances- That's what actors d do for do-for for for pay pay Perhaps Mr Longfellow would see only the artistic side of motion picture making From his easy chair In his Cambridge home he would rhapsodize about the joys of at creating permanent impressions in celluloid But if he saw a picture that stirred him to visit the Land of the Cinema in California he might have re returned returned re- re turned to New England with a rather Jumbled impression Of course fi he came carne to the coast he would ouId visit the Culver City studios so let us introduce him to Tom Moore on the Goldwyn lot lot Charmed to meet you yon Tm rm sure says say H H. W W. I L. L bowing graciously I am honored returns Tom Moore with a stiff burr on his RAnd RAnd R. R And pray what are you pl playing ying today today to to- to- to day sir I have seen you In many impersonations Impersonations Im im- and they have all been ex ex- rm Tm hod carrier for Well today a a a. change This afternoon they expect me meto meto meto to put on evening clothes and make love loveto loveto loveto to Miss Irene Rich Of course that isn't very trying but when one must go about unshaved for tor a day because of a picture one is tempted to weaken at the sight of ofa ofa ofa a razor How g extraordinary I should say motion motion motion mo mo- mo- mo tion picture acting is a form fonn of immolation Immolation immolation immola Immola- tion on the altar of art art Just then Will Rogers came along alone twirling his lariat and chewing on high gear Howdy Howd he said sald standing on one me foot I X got all your works at home family home family edition great edition great stuff Im sure my publishers are grateful And I have read your book on R Russia and the prohibition ti Very interesting interest- interest lug ins and extremely humorous Then Mr Rogers and i M Mr Long Longfellow had a talk on the e principles ri c been of tion that sh sho should u ld d have been incorporated 1 In the h v P n nM ont nt authoritative work o on the subject n bj t tA A by professOr y-professOr Professor Brander Matthews They disagreed on free verse as was to tobe tobe be expected f for Mr Mr Longfellow being g of revolutionary stock had some prejudice against freedom in versification Such h things thinS's simply done The poet bt changed the subject wet by saying Mr Rogers g was a sincere artist Oh Ob thanks Now I suppose you want you me to tell ell you how r do It Well all aU you No I have tot t to do is be natural all No NoI matter whether youre you're a a. cowboy y a farmer or a a a. dude though between yOU you and me I can cant can't be natural natural In clothes t that haven't loosened up to the curves of or my b body That is illuminating replied the the Cam Cambridge Cam Cam- bridge bard Ae Ah and whom have I I. the Treasure pleasure of 0 addressing ss ng It Jt Was as Mabel Norman In ina a white suns sunshiny toy gown of or linen and lace No No this Is for a few scenes morning This afternoon I I wear this ro wear house cleaning c ca clothes Tomorrow Im I'm Ima Imy daughter gypsy's a versatile people c exclaimed ex exclaimed ex- ex x 1 y word What People claimed the poet delighted And pray role do yoU prefer whIch Mss Miss Normand WT They're r all the same replied Actors cannot choose or they actors are Right not yo you are my dear dear And with witha Sy bow the poet withdrew with a anew anew anew a courtly new Idea of 0 the way some people enjoy en- en J joy jOh life e as sl 1 I said before It is too bad that never saw a photoplay lay layor Mr r n-r or talked Longfellow with the men sand and women who make them Alice Lake has returned to Metro studios after a the and wood weeks weeks' vacation Motion t at the southern three ber completion com com- rn- rn seashore California ot of Body and S Soul her latest II Hurlbut's t sy picture from William PlaT friends at the studio When her Increased glow ot of her r n on her I Ithe health and upon the the enviable tan from the star st r replied the sun have to cover Ill I'll shame that avo to Its a with a pale pae m ma makeup eUp 1 Just Just- Justas as asI it all up beginning beg to look like lilie a-a a meerschaum meerschaum meerschaum meer meer- I w waS pipe too |