| Show I The Mere Man I pf It By Helen Rowland I y Every no and then Just when I fancy that I 1 have allmen all allmen allmen men classified and labeled And neatly filed away in psychological psychological psychological psycho psycho- logical order I discover a brand new big de delIghtful delightful do- do I quality In one of them And have to apologize to the whole sex Fo For Fa Instance Women are so and full of tender spots in their vanity But a man doesn't seem fo have ANY tender spots In his makeup makeup- Not even his bald spot Good heavens Just think of the things we say to toa toa toa a man that man that he wouldn't dare say sayto sayto sayto to a woman Who ever h hesitates to r remind a n aman aman man that he Is growing fat Or that he Is getting thin or lookIng looking looking look look- ing seedy or turning gray over the ears But can you fancy greeting a woman woman woman wom wom- an with the cheerful exclamation Why what on earth have you been doing to yourself old dear f Youre getting jowls jowls and and a bay window windo Better cut out the sugar and potatoes for your country's sake I 1 Would she ever speak to you again And what married woman ever re refrained refrained re- re framed from telling her husband that he ne needed ded a shave or a haircut Or that his clothes didn't fit or that he was getting round shouldered or losing his top hair or ought to start banting or that he used to be hand hand- rome omo ome But just let him suggest ever so mildly that her nose is shiny or that her waist line seems to be Increasing and and and- ew Whee-ew I And when he comes down dressed for a dinner party I Does Does she stand tand as one struck truck with admiration and exclaim How tow stunning stun 1 ning you 10 look look li my dear She does not She turns his lis around critically begins picking specks off his coat Remarks th that tEat his tie Is crooked r his collar collar- too low And inquires es why he can ne ne' make his top hair lie He flat and ke kep p. p his shirt front fr from m 2 J JAnd And he takes It like it-like like a lamb I She never hesitates to remind hix of the handsome men she might have married Or to point out a distinguished a looking man In a a. restaurant f But let him ever so meekly re remark remark re- re mark that So and is a pretty girl And hed he'd better put on his ga gas mask and lie down flat In the trenches Until the barrage fire Is over Perhaps its it's because hes he's used to toJ being being- reminded of his physical de defects detects de de- J And to being called Skinny or Fatty or Carrots from boyhood i While every woman has thought of ot herself as a coming Madame Reca Reca- mier or a second Ninon de LEnclos L'Enclos Since she was tall enough to lookIn lookin look look- lookIn In the mirror Or perhaps Its It's because nothing can shake a mans man's belief in n his fat fatal 1 fascination Or persuade him him- that a little thing I like embonpoint or a bald spot could mar his deadly charm Or perhaps its it's Just the difference e. e I between feminine vanity And masculine conceit I Or perhaps its it's Just laziness and Indifference Or perhaps perhaps perhaps-perhaps perhaps its it's beautiful masculine modesty I Who knows 5 Copyright 1918 b by the Press Publishing g Co the New Ne York Evening World r N |
