Show I Despises JJ t Is Fored s to Agree ree FaVors Star I 11 r By GENE MORGAN w tx ITH the careless gesture of ofa of-a a aborn f WITH born spender Jitney Jim It twilled t a nickel t toward ward i Z i Myrtle the lovely box office girl at atthe J. fl 1 YI I I the Fly time Theater J II l Then he waited expectantly for a 11 W J III ticket to spring up at him from the thelI lI I ll automatic slot like a worm coming b pp l ll lif 1 up after a hard rain But the ticket r did l not appear Instead the coin was returned to him with a leaden I III I 11 Wassa matter M Myrtle rUet he deI de de- de- de mended Aint Ant my wampum good at t Z th tS show shop any more It certainly aint good retorted 4 M Myrtle e. e Ca Cant t you listen It dont don't 1 ring Its Us imitation money I tell teU you f m Anyone Arrone else would ha have e been en embarrassed embarrassed em em- l at being caught passing bad bad l r money with so o many people looking on on But Jitney Jim who vho appreciates tx 7 the slightest attention paid to tot him was sorry there were were not Be He v the dropped specious coin on the glass glas counter and then remarked J s 4 night Bight n ht you vou are are Myrtle Th That t jit 7 G j tt t nay ney su sure re does ring like a false tooth Its It's 1 phony phone hon Whoever l do you think wo would ld have bave the tho heart to pass such a homely hoop on poor U little le m me Myrtle replied that she dada didn't t know know- and didn't care She had no time she Intimated for tor dalliance with persons who attempted to pass imitation money Jitney Jim Jima Jim looked around wildly for assistance assistance Ills His face lighted up of a 6 sudden I wasn't crooked he cried Iwas I Iwas I Iwas was was' just giving you imitation mo money ey to see an imitation show took Look 1 He pointed to a 11 gaudy poster in a awall awall wall panel vanel which proclaimed Special Tonight Tonight Special Feature Film Miss Sophia Blotz Blots the Famous Imitator Imitator Imitator Imi Imi- of Mary Pickford in Her IIer Latest Latest Latest Lat Lat- est Success s The Charms of Che- Che he- he roC ta the Cigar Indians Indian's Daughter Now dont don't try to apologize or explain explain ex fX ex- ex plain yourself young woman said Jitney Jim Him severely Here llero you are accused by your YO own own electric lights of or foisting an imitation upon tiPOn the the unsuspecting public public Yet yon you hoist a av howl the first JIme firs one pl of your customers pontes up up a n n. which nickel r I 1 All rAll tl the Chaplins Rushed at Me fc 0 int po god d. d but isn't h Is Isn't t really I ba bad at t heart heart either Let us admit for or the sake of or argument argument argument ment tb t I this little coin is a bum Imm um copy of the tho genuine Uncle Sam sus suspender suspender sus- sus pender button But it isn't the worst Imitation in iri the tM marl market t by any riny n means Take Take Sophie 1 foi instance Pretty soon shell u shell she'll- n be K h q Mary Pickford is ste stealing i her her stuff Shell She'll be e saying saing that t silk she sh S. S Blotz Blots was the original soil boil with the coil coll and aird that sh she bhe gave gaTe Mary tier lier er first lessons les les- lessons sons in going going- ar around around um i tearing tearing her her clothes on nails the way with th these s Pt professional professional res- res sion l lin in imitators lt tors and impersonators impersonators They start out out well wen enough d ng the best they can hoping that folkl w n nhit hit have hite havea e a a 11 Ii little intelligence and say sa- Now isn't that Bert Williams all all' allover over over when hen the they're re try trying g t their 1 ir b best st f fI to imitate George M. M C Cohan Cohan- hn I I wouldn't be air Ul imitator Myrtle for ill all the the money money on on earth I 1 aim am I original 1 I I. I am just elf all all' the time You m known know me kid Who Who was oI was as the only guy that diunt go to to the be annual al masquerade ball all of tile the Riff Kitt I Riffraff rr- rr riff raff S Social rind and 1 Athletic Club dressed t d like Chollie Chaplin I wn was him IJ est they came ame in droves and bunc bunches i 5 and every every mothers mother's son gon of them their wore wore Ol Ca C- C a little mile Chaplin skimmer Ott on tho top of his head trail and and and-a Ia a little piece of hors rf hair on his Ills upper Ill lip 1 t tf f I was vas the only only one on one that t come Come tp the a D Chaplin wl u-i h b ii Ij i II ll L y I J 4 Im glad to hear you talk that way said Myrtle feet fet laced laced ui imp up in scows that pointed east t and w west st st. I was was original I was I came in a a. a hobo makeup make al up e It was as my myown myown own Idea S that original commented Myrtle Pf t You must have have looked nW uw ul ul Cute I Iu W wanted Jit to be- be realistic e- e as as es well WE'll ax MI MIi e f G. G r I i rh l original you see said Jitney Jim So I didn't wash my face for a wee week before fhe he ball I just let my face go and gosh osh how I hated to do it it Well Veil the night of the bal ball baIt 1 i plow plowed ell Uli up the time stairs through a mob of Ch Chaplins and their Bawls When wheat I got to the top landing tue chairman of the rec reception committee was was standing there as if his badge was suffocating ug him He lie was dressed like lUe Chaplin too and so was the door door- tender and the ticket grabber and even u the copper on the Ute beat who was was' off rr that night in iii plainclothes With With chilly optics optics optics' they all ga gave m me methe methe the Think Thinking ng I was all to to the good and regular I smiled and presented presented pre pre- seated my my pink pasteboard ducat with the w words of a a popular song on Jl the b back ck You Learned Learne Me to LOV Love Loye You but b I i You You Wasn't W l nt True But But th they Y wouldn't nt accept my ticket The They didn't say anything thing but kept on giving me the suspIcious hair hair- side Hide out u and had a patch on my knee and a tin till can tied onto m my al waist t. t au and All at Ol once cr the th chairman of or the ree rec committee e ga gave gae e a low whistle With that eve every y Chollie l Chaplin in the place Jumped on on me at 1 once and before I could raise a hand band rh I i in iu self-defense self or even a board hoard out r Ii of the lle floor In ill another minute ute I was J j I rolling g speedily down the stairs and dl l 11 J Im JIma I WI P every y time I hit bit a landing tb there was wasa I a relay team there to kick me gently r i r h on my iny way WI t fl Im glad to hear bear you ou talk that way Jitney sa said d Myrtle l in 1 henl hearty Y approval approval- I I admire a fellah that's or original I think thInk any gel gell docs does W By lly the way wily Jitney I want uit to tell you that's been on my roy mind for fOI fora fOIa a ion long while Im I'm not trying t to flatter you ou when I say it either Do you W know Jitney I think you OU look looka a whole lot like Francis Franeta X 1 Bushman I Jitney ey Jim m made madea lIe a swift plunge to to to- the wall mirror nu and stu studied himself carefully from ear to ear He returned re reo I I Ih h turned nell n and anil with th a Sl slight strut Now 0 aim aint t that u 3 a funny tunny thing he lie chuckled chuckle Youre the third party part that's told me the same thing this week How shout about a a little shot of or maple nut sundae after the show tonight tonight tonight to to- night Myrt i I 4 |