Show Oh Mr r The Silly Season sease Is On f. f w f. f Weve We've Already rey Murdered One Olle and aud lt I ITS IT'S JT'S really astonishing the number of justifiable homicides that could be perpetrated 1 upon summer rashes which inflict themselves th upon one who seeks the wilderness with the jug of wine the book of verse well and and well when one goes out to commune with nature Job himself couldn't stand some o OL them Here is the mournful talc tale of one who has survived a recreation trip and tells the world that he lie yearns no more 1 CL 7 E I II IL A I L 5 1 5 I suR Q D Ii k Y 1 1 J I rf 1 I 4 ii S P A TiUS 3 V 1 SI y I il A tA m I O s 7 41 4 I p 1 ORG I 3 I l d l 4 r r sY I D I V dJ J d 11 I MY S dS J iL-J 1 II I I One Swat for Each I j Line For Forms s Here r Bo Boy Page Babe Ruth 1 That's Help By Frank Becker BeckerY as everybody YESTERDAY Y knows it was hotter than the thc hinges on a certain far much tamed famed winter resort patronized of late by members of or orthe the league ue for tor making virtue odi- odi odi ous That is It will be patronIzed patronIzed patronized patron patron- b by them as fast tast as willing hands can shove them off oft for the voyage tho the river Styx river and then stand on the bank to watch that hey dont don't try to toI I come back 1 I It being hot as aforesaid we gathered up an armful of or home homebrew homebrew homebrew brew and started for tor th the canyons thinking to 10 escape the fumes and discontent of less fortunate mor mor- Maybe the tho brew didn't have kick enough to suit us or had Just enough to make us peevish but hut anyway we met a n. man who smiled blandly with a broad open expansive countenance and asked Is it hot enough for tor you ou I It is no longer a secret secret we we dont don't dontI care who knows fl It We c took that I I man behind a n. tree and shot him You will find his mangled re remains remains re- re mains I up there h by the cree creek trI if tr I they have not been taken by the garbage getter setter II I A Delightful Murder I Having Havins committed this pleasing murder and altogether delightful for which we expect never nc to bo he convicted by any an Jury In tho the world wo we are moved to discuss some other summer pests that are just as certain and anti ubiquitous as the blue bottle bollie fl fly The hotter It gets tho faster the they multiply multiply- from tho guy who litters the tho park with greasy waste paper to the poor loor fish who rocks the boat to scare his girl You can swat a fly J with a little lIlUe wire dingus and put him out of ot business But what are you goIng going go- go o- o Ing Ins to do with the big boobs who do up their lunch in enough h paper paper pa pa- per to wad a Inch 16 gun and then scatter It all over the place or let the wind blow It Into the duck pond One wishes for a a. hand as 11 big as 88 a whales whale's flapper and then swing from Pier avenue Thus Titus you Ou could knock the guy clean into the next county count so that his obituary would not be berec rec received b by the local papers for Cor or a R wc week le There Ther has been enough said Bald about the nut who rocks the boat boaL lIe He Is born In ever every clime and in every language He lie seems to propagate even moru rapidly than Barnum's famous sucker Themore Themore The Themore more helpless his victims are the i harder he ho rocks the shriller the agonized screams of or his frantic passengers the more ghoulish his hist I demoniacal yells yens of cit triumph Unfortunately Un- Un I fortunately when the boat does tip over this insect generally mana manages to float loat until some Borne misguided misguided mis mis- guided person can get there to pick him out b by the scruff of or the neck If it Il were not humanely yb to go after the tho rest of ot the party part It would indeed bc be pleasant to sit comfortably on the thc bank and listen sweetly to his last gurgling gurgling- burbles as he ho slowly slowly slow slow- ly 1 sinks from rosa view He Ho Must Be Bo a Bad Man Then there is the tho fat Cat president nt of oi street railroads and pleasure resort trolleys who holds out every ivery Cf bait bal t to get the poor seeker after cool and comfort to come to I his flimflam palace As the said president sits comfortably before his inch 18 fan or takes to to- the hills in I his big bl- car his last words to the superintendent are to put on n no more moro cars than absolutely ru- ru df ul Count the crowd and I I Ithen then divide it fl by three he says sas I and then send out dut curs caT enough to carry half hal of or that Furnish each conductor with a shoe horn to assist him to get set the passengers In he directs and then he goes home to sit on the tIme front porch with his feet teet on the rail ran and antI a II highball in his right mitt all an frosted with ice and am fresh from I his private cellar The Ultimate Consumer I So the poor misguided public goes oes to tho resort and buys bus hot and sweet drinks without any am sugar In em eta The They sit under trees and swim until they are ore all In both oth physically and lall and then the they try to come home That's the tIme best time of ot the da day and a good time Is had by all Chances are arc you OU will stand all the th way In while you let your best girl slide up and down your our knee Sometimes you will get et your head out ont the window and then not get set it back again There you are standing like a n bunch of or asparagus tied with a string trIng and Its It's all so cool and nice Many a railroad president president dent lent has las escaped annihilation swift and terrible by not being around where the crowd could get to him im on nights like this i |