Show I A Cosmopolite in a Cafe By O. O Henry I Copyright 1920 by the Wheeler Syndicate Syndicate Syndi Syndi- cate l inc c. c At midnight the cafe caie was crowded By some somo chance chane tho the table at which I sat had had hades es escaped ped the eye of ot and two vacant chairs at nt it extended their arms arras with venal hospitality hospitality hos hos- to tho the Influx of or patrons And then than a a. cosmopolite sat In one ono of oC them and I was as glad for I hold holda a Do theory that since Adam no true citizen clUzen of oe the tha world has baa existed Vo We V 0 hear heu- of oC them and we see foreign labels labelson on much luggage but we find travelers travel Vel ors orB Instead of oC cosmopolites I Invoke your consideration of or the scene the scene the topped marble-topped tables the theran ran range e of ot upholstered leather-upholstered wall scats seats the gay ay company compan the ladles dressed in deml demi toilets speaking in an exquisite visible chorus of oC taste tute economy opulence or art the sedUlous sedulous sedulous sed sed- ulous and largess loving InC garcons the music wisely catering to all aU with its raids upon the composers the tho melange melano laughter and If Ie will of ot talk and laughter QU the In the tall taU glass cones conos that bend to your lips as a a. ripe cherry sways on its branch to the beak of ot a robber Jay I was told by a Q sculptor from Mauch Chunk that the scene was truly Parisian My cosmopolite was named E. E Rushmore Rush Rush- Rushmore more and he will be heard from next summer at Coney Island He Is to establish a Do new attraction there he informed me offering diversion And then ithen his conversation rang ran along parallels of oe latitude and longitude He lie took the tho great round world In his hand so to speak familiarly familiarly fa ta- fa- fa contemptuously and It seemed no larger than the seed of or a a. Maraschino Maraschino Mara Mara- schino cherry cherT in a. a table grape fruit Ho spoke disrespectfully of ot the thc equator he skipped from continent to continent he lie derided the zones he ho mopped up the tho high seas with his napkin nap nap- kin With a Do wave of or his hand he would speak of ot a certain bazaar in Hydera bad Whiff Ho would have you on skis in I Lapland apland Zip Now you OU rode the breakers with the at Presto Ho lie dra dragged Ged you through an Arkansas post oak swamp let you dry for tor a n. moment on the alkali plains of or hi his Idaho ranch then whirled you Into the society of or Viennese archdukes Anon ho would bo be tellIng you ou of ot a cold coM he acquired In Ina Ina ina a Chicago lake breez an and how old cured lured It in Buenos Duenos Ayres witha with witha a n. hot Infusion of or the weed You YOt would have address ss a letter to toE toE toE E Rushmore Coglan J sq the Earth Solar System the Universe and mailed It feeling confident that thal It would bo ho delivered to him I was wag sure that I had found at last the tho one true cosmopolite since sinco Adam and I listened to his world-wide world discourse dis- dis course courso fearful lest I should discover r in tn It tt the local nl note of ot the tho mere globetrotter globe globe- trotter But Dut his hi opinions never fluttered hut flut terell terel or drooped ho he was as Impartial to cities countries and continents as the winds or gravitation And as F E E. Rushmore Coglan prattled of ot this little planet I thou thought h with JI glee c of or a great almost cosmopolite who wrote for tho the whole world worl and dedicated dedicated dedicated dedi dedi- himself to In a 1 poem h ho 1 hn has to 0 o say that there Is pride and cities of oe the earth rivalry between the and that the men that breed from them they thc traffic up and down but hut cling to their cities' cities hem as ns a child And whenever to the th mothers mother's gown they walk b bv by roaring streets unknown un tin- I known they remember their native city most faithful foolish Coolish fond making making mak mak- ing her breathed name their bond upon their bond And my glee lee was roused because I h had d cau caught ht Mr r Kipling napping H IT re I had found a n aman aman man not made from dust o ons who had harl no narrow boasts boast of or birthplace or country ore who If It ho he bragged at all would bra brag of his whole round globe n against the Martians and the inhabitants Inhabitants tants of the th moon Expression on these was precipitated from E l. Rushmore coglan hy by the third corner to our table Is hile bile Coglan COlIan was describing to me the topography along the tho Siberian railway railway rail railway rail rail- way the orchestra glided gilded Into lute n. n med med- medIe Ie Icy ley The air was Dixie and as the exhilarating notes tumbled forth they the were almost overpowered from almost al almost al- al b by a great Ireat dancing clapping of ot hands most er e every table It Is worth a n paragraph to say ray that this remarkable scene can be witnessed witnessed wit wit- H every evening In numerous cafes in the CI City y of New York Tons of ot brow brew have hao been consumed over theories to account aCCO for It Some have havo conjectured hastily that all nil Southerners Southern Southern- ers era in town hlo hie themselves to cafes at nightfall This applause of the rebel air In a Northern city eity lees does puzzle punIc a Do little but It n Is not net insolvable Tho war with Spain sp many years years' generous mint and watermelon crops crop a few shot long winners at nt the New Orleans race track and the brilliant banquets given then by the Indiana and Kansas citizens who compose the North Carolina society have made m tho the South rather a n. fad tad In Manhattan Your manicure will lisp softly that your our left forefinger er reminds remind her so much of ot a In Richmond Va VIt Oh 01 certain certainly but many a lady hn has hns to work now the now the war you OU kno know When was Vas being heln played ft n h haired dark young youn tJ rn sprang UP front from somewhere with i a Mo Mo-iny cru rr ilia veil K h and ami AT r o l 1 fr hat Then ho bo strayed 6 through the smoke dropped Into tho the vacant chair at our table and pulled out cl cigarettes The Tho evening was at the period when reserve resene Is thawed One of ot us mentioned mentioned men nien- three ers to the waiter walter tho the haired dark young youn man acknowledged his inclusion on In tho Ito or order order or- or der b by a smile and a nod I 1 hastened to ask him a question because I wanted want want- ed to try a theory I had Would you mind telling me ate I beban boban be- be ban whether you are from from It The Tte fist of ot E E. Rushmore Coglan lan banged the table and I was Jarred into silence Excuse me said MId he but that's a n. question I never like to hear asked I What hat does docs It matter where a man is from Is 11 It fair to jud Judge o a man by ty y his postoffice address Why hy hy Ivo lva seen who hated whisky Virginians Vir Vir- who weren't descended from Pocahontas tas who hadn't written a novel Mexicans who didn't wear vel velvet t trousers with silver dollars dollars dol dol- lars sewed along alon- tho the seams seam seams funny tunny Englishmen spendthrift Yankees cold-blooded cold Southerners narrow- narrow minded Westerners and New Yorkers Yorkers York York- ers era who were too busy to stop Step for tor an hour on the street to watch a one- one armed grocers grocer's clerk do up cranberries In paper bags Let a man be a man manI and dont don't handicap him with the tho label of ot any ny section I Pardon me I said ald but my curiosity curiosity curi- curi was not altogether an Idle Idle- one I Know the South and when the hari bam plays Ilas Dixie I 1 like to to I 1 hav formed the thc belief belle that tho the man wh applauds that air with special v vie 10 lonco lence and ostensible sectional Is la Invariably a native of ot either elther Se Secaucus Secaucus Secaucus caucus N N. 1 1 or the the- district Murray Hill Lyceum and the Harlen river riverS this city I was about to pu put pul my opinion to the test by br inquiring o othis 01 this gentleman when you ou with your own own own-l own kuger larger theory I mus con confess tess And now tho the haired dark young youn mar mai spoke to me and It became that his mind also move moved along it own sot of oC grooves I should like to be a periwinkle said he mysteriously on the top of ot valley and sing too This was clearly too obscure so so J turned again to Coglan Ive been around the world times said he I know an in Upernavik who sends to Cincinnat for his neckties and I 1 sa saw a Do goat herder In Uruguay who won a prize lia li Jr a Battle nattle Creek bt food competition I 1 pay rent on a room Ir ii Cairo Egypt and ald a another arother other In Yoko homa all the tile year ear around Ive I've go got slippers waiting for tor me in a hous tea in Shan Shanghai and I dont don't have to tel em om how to cook my eggs es In Rio Janeiro Ja or Seattle Its It's a n lItt old world What's the use of or bra about being from the tho North or th the South or the old manor house In tin the dale or Euclid enu a avenue Cleveland eland o oi 01 Pikes Pike's Peak Peal or Fairfax county Va I or Hooligans Hooligan's Flats Illats or any place Il 11 Ilbe Ilbo bo be a n. better world when we quit fools Cools about abour some mildewed town lown oi o oten 01 ten acres of ot swampland Just we 0 happened to bo born there You seem to be tic a genuine s cos coso I 1 said sail admiringly But nut I It ii seems that you would decry pa A relic of ot the tho stone age declared COJI Coglan Corrian n warm warmly We Wo are all brother Englishmen Zulus Pal Pata and anti the tho people In the bend o oh 01 tho the Kaw river Some day all petty pride In ones one's city or state 01 OJ section or country will b be wiped out and well we'll all be citizens of ot tho the world as aN we wo ou ought ht to be be- But nut while you are wandering ir In torel foreign n lands I 1 persisted do not nol our lour thoughts tho revert to some spot spot- some dear and and and- Nary a spot Interrupted E E. R n. Coglan COllan lImps lIppl flippantly r. r Uy The terrest terrestrial rial globular planetary hunk of oe matter slightly flattened at the poles and ami known as tho the Earth Is my abode lv rv met a good many object-bound object citizens citizen of ot this country abroad Ive I've seen men from Chicago 0 sit In a Do gondola in VenIce Venice Ven Ven- ice on a a. moonlight ht night and brag about their drainage c canal Ive I've seer seen seera soena a southerner on being Introduced to tc the king of oe En England land hd that monarch monarch mon men arch without batting his eyes the In Information Information information In- In formation that his hi's grandaunt on hi his mothers mother's side sido was related by br marriage to the tho of ot Charleston I 1 knew a n New ew Yorker who was kid kid- for tor ransom by some AC Afghanistan Afghanis Afghanis- tan bandits Ills HIM people sent over the money and he ho came back to Kabul with tho the agent Afghanistan Ats the the- thena natives na na- tives said to him through an interpreter inter pret preter r. r Well not so slow do you think Oh I dont don't know says he and he begins to tell ten them about a cat J driver at Sixth avenue and Broad way Those Ides Ideas dont don't suit sull m me Im I'm not tied down to an anything that isn't SOO miles in diameter Just put mcdown me mc down a as E. E Rushmore Coglan CObIan citizen of the terrestrial sphere ere My II cosmopolite cosmopolite- mad math a largo large adIeu adlei and left me for ho he thought ho saw some somo one one- through the chatter and anti smoke whom he knew knet So I J was left letl with the would would-b p periwinkle was reduced to r without further ability to voice his aspirations Hons' Hons to perch melodious upon the summit of oC a valley I at reflecting upon my evident cosmopolite coo cos os- os and wondering how the poet had managed to miss him H Ho was my discovery and I 1 believed In him How Ho was It It The men that breed from them they traffic up un and down but cling to their cities' cities hem as a child chUd to the tho moth mothers mother's rs r's gown own Not so 50 K E. Rushmore Coglan Cos With the whole world worM for tor his his his- My h meditations were Interrupted by bya a tremendous noise and conflict In another another another an an- other part of ot the cafe I saw above the heads of the tho seated patrons I E. E Rushmore Coglan COKlan and and a stranger er to tome toI tome me engaged In terrific battle They I fought between the tables s like Uk Titans and glasses crashed and mn men caught their hats up and aoel were knocked down and a brunette screamed and a n. blonde began to sing Teasing My cosmopolite was sustaining th the pride and reputation of ot the tho Earth when the waiters closed in on both combatants with their famous flying wedge formation and bore them outside outside outside out out- side still resisting I c McCarthy called one of the French and asked him the cause of ot the conflict that The man with the red rd tie was m mv my cosmopolite said he got hoton hoton hot hoton on account of ot things ald said about the bum sidewalks and water supply of ot the place he come from by the tha other ru CU guy y Why 8 sad td I. I bewildered that man manIs manis Is a I citizen of the world world world-n a cosmopolite lite lit He lie lie- Originally from Mattawamkeag Maine MainI he hI said continued McCarthy and ant hp he wouldn't stand for no knockin knock- knock I In the place |