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Show ' I PHONE COMPAnT But the Company Would Ban Helios n$fe, DUlU,C V 1 WRONG NUMBERS, TWITCHELL T ' Rv H. I. PHILLIPS "DON'T SAY HELLO" ("Don't say 'hello' when en-iwering en-iwering the phone. Give your name or company name promptly and save time." From telephone company appeal.) ap-peal.) We read It again. "Don't say hello' when you answer t h e phone," it iaid clearly. "It wastes time." It seemed revolutionary but reasonable. After U. why not co-operate with the company. So we sat down and awaited a phone call . . o It Is strange how long one has to wait for the phone to ring when one Is not busy. If we had been absorbed In a book, tied up In a conference, trying to find a rhyme or busy t reassembling a Swiss watch there would have been a call every 10 seconds. But now . . . silence! Nobody wanted to talk to us. But we are not easily defeated. We called up a Dudley Dud-ley Zeek (at random out of the book) and hurriedly left word with his secretary to phone us. o Presently our phone rang. We leaped to it and announced our name with no waste of time. "Elmer Twitchell," we said. There was no answer. We Jiggled the hook and insisted on getting the connection. Central finally Bsked, "Who called you?" "What difference differ-ence does it make?" we asked. "We will take a call from anybody." any-body." Presently she re-connected us. "Elmer Twitchell," we repeated firmly. "There is no Elbert P. Twitchell Twitch-ell here. You have the wrong number." num-ber." "No, I haven't. Listen . . ." "This is not Twitchell," the female fe-male voice insisted. "Of course not," we explained. "How could it be?" "Hello," the voice said. "And you're not supposed to say 'hello,' " we put in. "Hello. Who do you want? Hello. You must have the wrong number. Hello." "Stop slipping in all of those hel-los!" hel-los!" we yelled. "Haven't you heard about them?" Here a male voic put in. "Hello," it said. "Are you trying try-ing to get me?" "No, you're trying to get me," we said. "Who are you? Hello," the voice repeated. "Elmer Twitchell. You ara Dudley Dud-ley Zeek, aren't you?" "Who?" "Dudley Zeek." "No," came the answer. "This is the Economy Pastrami Factory, Amos Finch speaking." "Are you trying to get Elmer Twitchell?" "No. My secretary has been trying try-ing to get the city hall. What're you doing on the line. Hello. There must be a mixun Hplln Hplln " " WS too . The hl1 I)uey Zeek cXyU 'e,t camps As Parents ntti , , Hi.-Saw a slgfu ''Cattle Crossing. hour." That', too fa; to move in modern t McElroy. &i "United StoteTft. lion a Day-Headlir. Aw, they can't be": 0-Russia 0-Russia has lion dollars on) mothers of babies, j nounces. We IWlil that Russia oriiM( of motherhood. 0- With every resta-, closed, we undent of divorce applicanu their suits the cois;:: wife's cooking cons:.: able cruelty. 0- We trust that the c; by Clark, great coma ial and that, above C will never make t cigars. GOTHAM BUGLU: Cole Porter has fc . . . "Kiss Me, Kej" munitions stocks ban since Olsen & Johnse Ye ed watched the ; and got powder bwrj vey" is being played: with a Welsh rabbit, 0 We know a fellow ti reverse the routine 1: case from the supie the lower tribunals,, in 4V.ir.t .1..... J |
