OCR Text |
Show OUR N0LE CALVES. o 1 This does not pretend to be an lmpar- P tlal summing up of the great suit, so to speak. Knee Breeches vs. Trousers. It U a frankly partisan plea, for the plaintiff. I have never given a previous thought to the question, and have no idea of the la. tent antagonisms that, now flaming out so suddenly, have divided ua hi to a na- ' tlon of pro-Breechers and their opposite, the Trouserltes. But. realizing - that a great cause has to be decided, and hating hat-ing to be a person of "no settled convictions," convic-tions," I have veen Impelled, In the temporary tem-porary lull of other national affairs, and while Mr. Chamberlain, is finding that offer, to Investigate the merits of the dispute. And I think the pro-Breechers should have no difficulty in bringing the Trouserite to their baggy knees. - First, let us calmly philosophize. Those hardy pioneers who have clubbed together to dine-in public and in knee breeches deserve de-serve well of their age and race on general gen-eral grounds and without reference to the Particular dispute. They stand in the reech, as one might say, against tyranny, ty-ranny, against convention, attain it the stupid thing that is in a word, against trousers. Take - trousers only as a symbol, sym-bol, representing established, despotic, unreasoning un-reasoning custom. Is not that enough? They have put Custom symbolised aa Trousers on her trial, and have challenged chal-lenged her to Justify herself. And custom, arrogant as any Louis, says, "L' habitude, j e'est mot," and can get no further. Buoh an attitude in Itself Justifies revolt. Why should Custom hold Trousers in bar feudatory clutch? 'Twaa not always so, and arrogant Custom, which now sums herself up in Trousers, has been represented repre-sented in many forma in her time, la a, word, we make Custom, her subjects set her aloft and we who enthrone may dethrone. de-throne. Trousered custom should there fore walk more humbly, and at least parley par-ley with the enemy at the gate. And now let us descend from the gen eral to the particular. Once men wore togas, and Custom, an elective monarch, reigned only on toga terms. Imagine thai we were now a togaed people, and what derision would have been adequate to the trousered upstart? Think of the nicknames nick-names that would hate pelted him Long, shanks, Propsticks. Old Double-barrel, l Heavenly Twins and what not. Yet Cus T torn, throned high on her trousered sea ' now scornfully scoffs at the pro-Breechers, who once were her masters. You see the absurdity of it? Consider the kilt. Dare Custom deride the kilt? Nay, aha courtseys to it. It is true that only a portion of the body politic clothes itself in the kilt, but were we all kilt entirely, what could Trousered Custom say? There would be nothing left but abdication, and. ipso facto, by the oomlng of the kilt. Trousered Custom would be an outlaw in -her own dominions, and could only rein again by kissing the hem of the conquer, ing garment. A precartoua tenure, thfiV 1 has haughty Trousered Custom. London Chronicle. t |