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Show THK BULLETIN, BINGHAM CANYON, UTAH ODDS ON ODDITIES Gun-totin- g Animals Predominate In Roundup of Freak Accidents WNU Features 't It used to be news when a man bit a dog. But in 1946 a dog shot a woman. And that's not all. A kanga-roo shot a man. So did a rab-bit. A deer took a gun away from a hunter. A fish chased a fisherman off the road by sneezing in his face. A bee, a goose, a grasshopper, a mouse and a turtle got into the act, each in its own quaint way. And an ice cube knocked a woman cold. All this, and more, was turned up by National Safety council in its annual roundup of odd accidents. And if you haven't already begun to suspect that things were a little wacky in the year just past, read on! The Ice Cometh. Miss Jeannette Esslinger was standing on the sidewalk in St. Louig when an ice cube fell out of a hotel window. It hit her squarely on the head and knocked her colder than the ice cube. At the hospital they treated her with an ice pack! Alice Martin, 52, and Emily Haus-er- , 66, were zipping along the streets of Des Moines, Iowa, on a works when you want it to," she moaned. A $50,000 boom hit the rural com-munity of Plymouth, Wis., when Robert Marth shot at a sparrow perched on a farm wagon, missed the sparrow, hit the wagon and set off its 1,300-poun- d load oi dynamite. Casualties 650 windows. 1 wagon and 1 sparrow. Don't We All? Stanley Szot of East CI ago, Ind., entered the dentist's office with a toothache and left with a headache. As the dentist reached for the forceps, lightning struck the office building and a hunk of plas-ter from the ceiling conked Szot on the head, where the novocain hadn't reached. Three-year-ol- d Ernest Liedemann of Chicago tumbled into the Chi-cago river from a bridge high above. As he hit the water, his clothing caught on a nail that pro-truded from the piling and held his head above water until he was res-cued. Close runner-u- p for fall fashions was Abraham Wilson of New York. As Wilson was lowering a couch from a four-stor- y shaftway in a More understandable was the strange case of the kangaroo that shot the man. This happened in Aus-tralia when Arthur Crosbie shot a kangaroo through the hind legs and it fell on its back. Crosbie reloaded the rifle and put the butt on the kangaroo's neck to pin it down. The kangaroo reached up, twined a fore-pa-around the trigger and shot Crosbie through the arm. Prompted by the same motive of self preservation, a rabbit that lived just outside Louisville, Ky., resent-ed the activities of William Humph-rey, a hunter. He stuck wuienuuse, ne inppea in me rigging and he and the couch plunged down-ward. He caught up with the couch as they passed the third floor. The force of the impact wedged the couch against the shaft wall, where surprised workers found Wilson curled up cozily. Another Fish Yarn. Most fantastic of all, perhaps, Is the celebrated case of the sneezing out a paw from Humphrey's game bag, pulled the trigger of Humph-rey's gun and shot him through the foot. Humphrey now carries a rabbit's foot for luck when he goes hunting. Guess what rabbit! Edward M. Brown of Beverly Hills, Calif., saw active service in both the European and Asiatic the-aters without a scratch. He de-cided to relax by going hunting. A companion shot a goose. It plum-meted down, struck Brown smack in the chest, knocked him flat, and inflicted injuries that kept him in the hospital 45 days. Many a bee has caused a traffic accident, but a super-bus- y one in Hammond, Ind., cracked up three autos by merely stinging the driver of one of the cars. The driver, Walter Sohl, drove into another car, which then crashed into a third ma-chine. He Gets Buck Fever. Back in the meatless days Del Halstead licked his chops as he drew a sight on a big buck deer near Buckhorn station, Calif. Just as he released the safety catch on his rifle, he was hit from behind and sent sprawling. Another buck had ML motor scooter one day, having a very fine time indeed, when what should loom up ahead but a corner. As they scooted adventurously around it, the scooter unceremoni-ously upset, depositing both ladies on the pavement with considerable force and little dignity. Sympathetic friends suggested the scooters trade in their vehicle for an automobile or, if youth must have its fling, a kiddie car. Really Burning Up. As Margaret Standring was walk-ing along the street in downtown Philadelphia, she was understand-ably bewildered when two women and a man suddenly began beating salmon. James Mantakes of La Grande, Ore., caught the salmon, tossed it in the rear of his car and started for home to show the folks1, As the car chugged along, desert dust blew into the salmon's gills, and it sneezed. Yes, it did. This startled Mantakes. He ner on me neaa sne was Durnea up a little at this. But not as much as if they hadn't. For the d fact was that Miss Standring was on fire. A cigarette, tossed from a nearby building, had landed in her hair. No other cigarette can make this statement! Now, about the dog that shot the woman. It happened in Baltimore as Mrs. Ruth Pattersen was enjoy-ing a bath. Her police pup, Toby, spied a gun on the washstand. put paw to pistol and let Mrs. Patter- - glanced back, saw nothing but a fish and shrugged off the sound. An-other sneeze. Mantakes whirled around, this time to see an angry salmon on the back of the seat, glaring balefully at him with bloodshot eyes. As if that weren't enough, a grasshopper chose that moment to come flying in through the window. The salmon abandoned Mantakes, lunged at the grasshop-per, missed and fell back in the lap of the now thoroughly disorgan-ized driver. Mantakes gave himself over en-tirely to subduing the salmon. The car went crashing off the road. The salmon sneezed spitefully once or twice moreand succumbed. Victims of All Ages. Youngest victim of an odd acci-dent in 1946 undoubtedly was a baby girl who was shot before she was born. Her mother, Mrs. Arthur Laughton, was shet in a hunting accident at Winthrop, Me., and the baby was born prematurely, a bul-let wound in her left thigh. When most people were desper-ately trying to find auto tires, Stan- - ley Yanick of Chicago just stood still on the sidewalk and one came rolling right up to him. Unfor-tunately, it had a wheel attached, and it flattened him. The tire was the wrong size anyway. When Mrs. Ralph Gilmore of Phil-adelphia heard a certain program bounded out of a thicket and landed, ala the marines, in the nick of time. Halstead not only lost his gun he also lost two bucks! Same Old Story. Put a mouse and a woman in the same car and something has to give. So when Mrs. Orson Rheingold of Albany, N. Y., found she was sharing her car with a traveling field mouse, she just did what came naturally. The car smacked into a pole and the field mouse returned to the field. Gustav Riebow of Milwaukee is a kindly man. So when he and his wife found a turtle in their back yard, they put it in a box on the front seat of their car and started to take it to a nice homey place in the country. The turtle, confused or just plain ungrateful, slipped out of the box, crawled up Riebow's leg and bit him good and hard. Riebow turned turtle and so did the car via a tree. Chips Pay Off. After that, anything must seem dull But the case of Pete Bird of Shelbyville, Ky., may be worth recording. Wheci a mere boy, Bird was chopping a log on a farm when a chip flew up and struck him in the eye, bringing a cataract and blindness In 1946 just 42 years later Bird again was chopping wood. Again a chip flew up and hit him in the eye, tearing the cataract loose and restoring sight. Then there was the case of the sultry pockctbook. It belonged to Miss Janice Peterson of New York City, who traced smoke to a drawer in her office desk and found a cig-arette lighter in her purse had flicked on. "And it hardly ever A t. i son have it right in the bathtub or more precisely, right in the hand. In Fresno, Calif., Leonard Gur-aro- , 21, was completing what he hoped had been a satisfactory test for a driver's license. As he nervously parked the car he stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake. The car leaped the curb and zoomed through the plate glass window of an office the office of the examiner who was giving Gur-ar- o the driving test. License denied. When the alarm rang in a Hous-ton fire station this summer, Fire-man J. H. Skeeters threw on his clothes and leaped for the quick-exi- t pole. He missed and landed kerplunk on the first floor 20 feet below all 200 pounds of him. Sure, it was a false alarm. In Fairmount City, Mo., fire start-ed in an auto from a short circuit, but thoughtfully set off the horn and sounded its own alarm. Equally as obliging was a blaze that started in a tavern at Hugo, Okla., burned off the cap of a hydrant, released a stream of water and drowned itself. coming in on her radio, she hur-ried across the room to turn up the volume, tripped on a rug and fell, suffering minor injuries. The program Mrs. Gilmore fell for? A broadcast on home hazards by Na-tional Safety council! Lack of 'Political Sense' Leads Wallace to Oblivion By BAUKHAGE New Analynt and Comrnvnliitor. WNU Service, 1616 Eye Street, N.W., Washington, I). C. WASHINGTON. - Unless some strange shift in the tide of national affairs takes place between the time these lines are written and when they ap-pear in print, the name that once bristled in the headlines, made the Paris peace conference shu-dder and com-pletel- y confound-ed the Truman administration will be filed un- - But he is willing to adopt strange methods to achieve this. (Remem-ber the little pigs.) In making clear to his friends that it was his ambition to be secretary of commerce he convinced them of his belief in five propositions. They were that: 1. He believes the capitalistic system cannot survive another war. 2. He believes the capitalistic system cannot survive another financial depression such as we went through in the early 30s. 3. He is convinced that the country is headed for another such depression. 4. He believes that this ca-tastrophe can be avoided If cer-tain simple measures are taken. 8. He believes that this end the perpetuation of free enter-prise justifies almost any means. As soon as Wallace became sec-retary of commerce he attempted to reorganize the department along lines which had made the depart- - der "W" and for- - Baukhage gotten by most people who aren't subscribers to the New Republic. I refer to the name Henry Agar Wallace. I have talked with a great many men who knew Wallace well. Most of them who liked him still like him. But many who supported him in the past follow him no longer. One of them said to me: "Henry Wallace has been drowned at last in a sea of ideas. He has gone down for the third time and there is nobody with a lifeline han-dy." I think of two other men, one an experienced government official, a trained politician; another an ardent New Dealer who happens to be equipped with a mathematical mind sharp as a steel trap each of these men followed Henry Wallace a long way. But each man at one point in his career suddenly stopped aghast at one of Wallace's self-create- d misadventures, shrugged his shoulders and regretfully turned away. One of the first criticisms you hear from Wallace's political friends is that he has no political sense. As head of the department of ag riculture, Wallace, according to most disinterested observers, was a j success as a policy-make- r and an administrator (Don't bring up the little pigs he did that against every one of his natural predilections. I , As secretary of commerce he was a dismal failure. Wallace did understand agricul- - ture, agriculturists (farmers) and ment of agriculture so successful in-sofar as between gov-ernment and farmers is concerned. One of the first steps was to try to establish a system of "field agents" (similar to agriculture's county agents). Good men were hard to find; it takes time to build such a system. The personnel recruited under such conditions and within so short a time would be bound to in-clude many incompetents and thus open the system to immediate at-tack by an unfriendly congress. Nev-ertheless, Wallace pushed the idea as far as he could during his tenure of office. This, his critics say, showed his inability to perform in a field with which he was unfamiliar, showed his lack of "political sense" (or, if you will, his failure to grasp the complexities of inter-person-relations), Like many other men who have been thrust into high government of-lii-without sufficient political ex-perience, he attempted to absorb that experience vicariously. The very fact that he lacked an under-standing of political and personal relations caused him to accept ad-visors and counsellors who frequent- - ly led him astray. Perhaps if he had been less advised his conduct would have bee.n .le.ss agronomy. He believed that he had (and has) the correct formula for solving the economic (business) ills of the country. But what he didn't realize was that he was handi-capped by what is incorrectly called an "inferiority complex" when it comes to dealing with human be-ings who made the wheels of busi-ness go round. He had a strange and deep suspicion of the business world. Perhaps that wasn't so strange for it reflects the natural attitude of the farmer toward the "city slicker." Perhaps it was an-other phase of that "shyness" which characterized Wallace. Let's look at this "suspicion" busi-ness: On one of several occasions, Wal-lace as secretary of commerce ad-dressed a prominent group of con-servative business men. His col-leagues watched the event with con-siderable trepidation. They knew the group was unsympathetic to Wal-lace and that Wallace knew it. How-ever, it provided an opportunity to create a friendly atmosphere, if nothing more. Wallace made a swell speech. His colleagues were agree-ably surprised. His audience was almost capitivated. In fact, as the speech went on, one after another of the listeners showed that Wal-lace's views were well received were anything but inimical to busi-ness. Many of the ideas he ad-vanced were accepted as sound, sane and sensible. So far so good. Wallace reached the end of his pre-pared script and then, suddenly overcome with this strange defen-sive complex, this "suspicion," said something to this effect: "Tonight I have probably wasted your time and mine, for I realize that you couldn't possibly agree with me nor I with you." The whole effect was ruined. Intimates Admire Wallace's Integrity Men who know Wallace best agree that he is absolutely honest, that he is unselfish, that he can be a very deep student of a subject which interests him, that he has a power-ful ambition to be a leader of the forces that will preserve American free enterprise and competitive capitalistic endeavor. Nations Keep Jealous Eye on Antarctica Adm. Richard Byrd is about to take off again for Antarctica with a horde of anxious nations worried to death lest he run away with the five million square miles of rock which covers the south polar regions as the dew covers Dixie (but different!). The foreign claims are legitimate enough, for daring explorers have been nibbling at that piece of frost-bitten plateau (bigger than Europe) ever since John Briscoe actually dis-covered what was given the name of Enderby land in the early nineteenth century. Many others followed, but few took the keen interest in the Antarctic waste that Admiral Byrd did. although he didn't turn in that direction until after he had flown over the North Pole. Which reminds me of a dull Sun-day, May 9. 1926. I was keeping watch in the Washington office of a feature syndicate which had the rights to Byrd's adventures. We knew he was going to hop off fur the pole from Spitzbergen with Floyd Bennett soon, but we didn't know when. Messenger boys had a habit of dropping unimportant messages on the particular desk which I occupied and I hardly glanced up when one, still soggy, was tossed within my reach. 1 finished the last episode of the comic strip I was studying and opened the envelope. It con-tained one word, "polaris." That was the code word that meant that Byrd had flown over the North Pole and was back alive. On November 29, three years lat- - er, he flew over the South Pole. The flight was only a small part of ex-tended explorations made on two separate expeditions. Now Byrd is off again, with jeal-ous competitors watching him with jealous concern. His expedition probably will be met with mixed emotions by the penguins who are the only human-lookin- g inhabitants of Antarctica Byrd's first visit was a novelty to those decorous birds who never go out except in formal evening attire .but I imagine homo sapiens has become to them just an-other sap who has to go in when it snows. Broadway Stardust: The fountain pen firm which in-troduced the under-wate- r pen soon will bring out an under-wate- r per-fume so you will smell sweet while swimming. Greatest invention since soap. . . . Bess Myerson (Miss Amer-ica of 1945) is organizing a all-gi- band. They will follow Tex Beneke's crew at the 400 in January. . . Greenwich (Conn.), home burg for some of the wealthiest people in the world, is in a tizzy with ex-citement about the identity of the 20 locals who voted Communist. Some of the millionaires there are suspected. . . . Lindy's raised its excellent coffee a nickel per cup. Multiply that nickel by the over 50,000 patrons weekly and get dizzy. . . . How night club concessionaires get rich: The recent half cent per pack rise in cigarettes prompted concessionaire Ellis to tilt his price a jitney per pack. Midtown Vignette: Blanche Yurka, a One actress, got her first stage assignment in ages recently, and therein lies this paragraph. . . . Blanche wear-ied of playing frowzy character roles in the films and returned to Broadway open to offers. . . . None came until Eve Wygod (owner of a beauty parlor) per-suaded La Yurka to let herself be glamourized. ... So wot? . . . When showmen saw the "new" Yurka they became en-tranced and goose-pimpl- y. . . But the role she got is that of a "progressive" German wom-an mit oudt glammer! Cure of alcoholism isn't as simple as the movies make out. Many such sanitariums around H'wood now charge as high as $100 daily. . . . For a little number called "Mother Wore Tights," Betty Gra-bl- e wears mink tights mink, not pink. . . . Realty experts are amused at the 10 per cent raise (the news-papers are giving them) when rent controls die they expect the aver-age tilt to be at least 20. May go as tall as 60. . . D. Smart, the mag publisher, will offer Elliott Roosevelt $20,000 for "a good interview" when he returns from Moscow. Elliott is cleaning up a mint, mainly because he became "good copy" following all those press attacks on him for over a year. . . . Street Scene: Sec'y of State Byrnes saving a woman from being hit by a bus at 50th and Madison. The other night in the House of Dixon the swellodic Joe Moo-ne- y quartet started playing its humorous arrangement of "Just a Gigolo." ... A pleasant-lookin- g young chap (sitting with an older woman at the ringside) became uncomfortable as Moo-ne- y started singing the special lyrics directly at him. ... As the laughter grew, the fellow squirmed. ... He excused him-self and beat a hasty retreat ti the lounge room until the song ended. . . . When he returned, his companion teased him about his . . . "But he was singing it right at me," he remarked, "and everyone was laughing." . . . "My dear," the woman replied, patting hfs hand, "Joe Mooney was singing directly at your imagination. You see, Joe is blind." The Intelligentsia: Henry Miller's novel, "Tropic of Capricorn," (banned in the U. S.) has been one of France's (English-language- ) best sellers. It recently was translated into French and was banned! Tom Costain, author of "The Black Rose," a click, has finished a new one, due in March, "Money Man." . . . "Contact," Nebraska peniten-tiary's publication, features "pro-files" under the title of "Prisonali-ties.- " . . Philip Wylie's "Genera- - tion of Vipers" book, four years old, still sells 1,000 copies a week, via boosters. His next will be called "An Essay on Morals." The few times H. S. T. does something right he doesn't tel' the country about it. Recently frinstance, he's alleged to havi received a scorching letter from a newly - elected big shot, screaming against raising the immigration bars. The President supposedly re-plied: "Unless you happen to be an American Indian your atti-tude Is stupid. Applied retro-actively, you could never have been born here, since your for-bears wouldn't have been able to emigrate from their foreign birthplaces." Sounds in the Night: In the Mer-maid room: "That's a lovely dress, but her face is showing!" . in the Stork: "She's the sort of gal men look at twice. They don't be- lieve it the first time." . . In the Village Vanquard: "A nice guy is someone who takes a lady out A wolf takes her in." ... At Chateau-briand: "That nobody used to be somebody until he thawt he was ev-erybody." ... At the Henry Hud-son: "Who writes his smuterial?" . At the Victorian room: "Oh don't be a jerk. Or am I too late?" Cross Stitch ClJ is $8 I VOU needn't envy youH 1 lovely linens . . . Jjk what the simple cross-sM- ;do! The crocheting easy, too! ;j Pattern 8!K) has transfer of jfl two 6',a by 13',j, eight 2'i-irB-crochet directions. j3 Due to an unusually lare fl current conditions, slightly fl required in fillinE orders for aH most popular patterns. To obtain this pattern send fl coin to: Sewing Circle Needlei ratal Box 3217 San Fran, i,roB Enclose 20 cents for ,Em No Name Address Beware Cougl from common colli That HangI Creomulslon relieves prompf cause it goes right to the sea( trouble to help loosen andHM germ laden phlegm, and aid JB to soothe and heal raw, tendH flamed bronchial mucous HI branea Tell your druggist to sw a bottle of Creomulslon with tH demanding you must like then quickly allays the cough or yK CREOMULSll for Coughs. ChejtColds.Brorll nn aconI Don't let the embarrass agonizing tortures of simple W threaten your job, or rob JfcO your fun when you're ai play. jP you can get quick, sate, easy from itching, burning snd ( painful tortures of simple h itt rhoids even when you're iH from the privacy of your hH Thousands of pile lufferersH and praise handy, convenM Stuart's Pyramid Supposno Easy to use, easy to carry, easM insert. Act instantly AntiseiB soothing medication reduj strain, helps tighten ami irawM flabby membranes, gentlv cates and softens dry, h.irde parts. Helps promote heaM Two sizes-6- 0c and $: .20 maker's money-bac- k guaran Get your genuine Stuart's PyraM Suppositories at youxdnjB today. mr'' B IsBfTi'riT A. H UelpThem Cleans the of Harmful Body Wast Tour kidneye art eonetantly MM wait matter from tha blood kidneya lometimaa lag in their or not act aa Nature Intended'" a more Impuritiee that. If reul". 'JB poiaon tha yetem and upeet toe V body machinery. J Symptoma may be nagging peraiatent headache, attack! of getting up nights, awelling. under the eyee a feeling tie anxiety and loaa of pep and Other ligna of kidney or blddea order are ometimea burning. " too frequent urination M There ahould be no doubt that P'm treatment la wiaer than oegle-- Doon i Pill: Doan't have been 'M new frienda for mora than forty Ym They have a nation-wid- e rP"lB Are recommended by grateful PP' country over. A yo' 'gJ Last minute ChristmB ping? For the smokers list, select either of these Bj ular gift items featured H local dealer flavorful C.riB rettes or mild, mellow 1'tfl bert Smoking Tobacco. H more, you needn't botherH with troublesome gift wrK for both these products conH to give! The Camel cartdM tired in colorful holiday drK taining 200 mild, rich-tasti-rettes. And Prince AlbH Christmas giving is ofTereB popular full pound containdK a card is unnecessary fdKt gifts space is provided fofi sonalized written messagB be in for a pleasant surpriB, you see the hearty receptK friends will give holiday-i- Camels and Prince AlberB Even Squirrels Rebel at Eviction Proceedings WAUKESHA. WIS. - Indicating that the current housing shortage has extended even to the animal population, squirrel residents of a e woods near here attempted to prevent eviction from their hol-low tree homes by tearing down their eviction notices. At the same time they proved that they art bet-ter judges of timber than foresters. Trees in the area were marked for cutting lust summer by Cal Stott, United Slates forest service employe. On each unsound tree unmarketable and full of hollows that sqjirrels like to convert into apartments Stott had stapled a white tag. Trees so tagged were vo be cut down and weeded out. On each tree that was ready for market, Stott stapled a red tag When he returned to the wood.' recently to measure log lengths. Stott discovered that squirrels had removed all of the white tags from their doorsteps. The squirrels also demonstrated that they are smarter than foresters when it comes to judging trees One red tag also was missing, so Stott decided to check more thor-oughly although the tree had seemed to be sound enough when it was originally inspected. The ' squirrels were right the tree was full of holes I BARBS . by Baukhage 1 Despite the Republican landslide, the old gray squirrel on the White House lawn hasn't lost his taste for nuts. Charles Ross, presidential news secretary, held a press conference in a submarine 300 feet below the surface. If the reporters didn't get the lowdown then, they never will l Pilots are aided by nearly 5.000 farmers who voluntarily make daily observations for the weather bu-reau. A new prophet incentive. Says a Republican: "We'll treat the Democrats the way they treated us when Wilson came ia and that wasn't good." Not so sweet are the usages of minority |