Show 1 1 V ENING MARCH ARCH 3 1922 I J lItre 2 1 lieke 1 A BARGAIN SALE Little Little Jane had long wanted a bab sister and one day she came rushing home in great excitement Oh mother come quickly she sha exclaimed There are splendid bargains bar bari barj gains in babies and you can get one ono while they are cheap A What in the world are you talk talkIng talking talk talk-j Ing In about child the mother asked in in- astonishment Somebody mus must have been playing a joke on you No mother 01 the little girl declared declared de- de dared Jumping up and down in her eagerness A great big sign abou about it ft on the top of the skating rink I Isa sa says s This week only children hal haJ price Finds the Jazzing Flapper as Goo as asHer Her Grandmother Headline W iv wouldn't have thought that o 0 o grandma POLICE The Easterner Easterner So So you OU are from the V West iVest st eh eh Have you shot any anything anything thing la lately tely The Westerner Westerner-I I should say so pard three games of ot pool this after afternoon noon Ju Judge dge THE LIAR Mary Carmack McDougal in N N. r Times J You could have taken a blacksnake whip And lashed me over the eyes You Tou could have struck me full tull in th Ui face face face- But you chose to tell telI me lies Y Yet t the cut of a whip is straight an and clean 1 If It the heart that strikes be strong stron But the wound from froni a lie He is a fetid feUd thing That stabs and festers long IM The liar far Is born with the jello streak Men shun from sea to sea y You u can go and hunt with your coward cow cow- ard pack pack pack- You h have ve lied Hed your last to nie me mer I WALKING NOT SO COSTLY I The negro parson paron was soliciting I funds J dis church hab got to walk 1 Deac Deacon n in amen corner Amen let Jet er walk Parson dis church ha haD hab got to run Deacon Amen let e e j run I dis church hab got ti let Amen let er fl fly f its it's take mone money to make dL church fl fly Let er walk let e er walk Exchange JUSTIFIED BY RESULTS North Dobbs Dobb's Dobbs Dobb's grammar is t terrible Hes He's always saying I got West West West-That's That's all right if It he got enough New New York Sun n. n f r LIKE A FOX Heiress to Fortune of to Become Simple Workmans Workman's Bride Headline Grabbing off oft an heiress like that and call him simple Nothing simple about him Bill POINTED PARAGRAPHS 1 I Two swelled heads are better than none The art of living consists In no nog being a dead one Any man who takes things as they come lacks push A girl with pretty teeth neve nev misses an opportunity to giggle 1 Any j young oung man who Is in love likes to ko say good night the nex next morning v vA A i 1 an may gush over a woman o 0 ovice vice versa but the gushing Is seldom natural m f Sometimes a married man dislikes dislike to visit people who try to make him feel at home M Mer Men who are always telling you things for their own good mean wen well but the they are awfully tiresome M When Nhen an American heiress refuses to marry a nobleman It may be th tha t I she considers herself too rich for his his blood Chicago Chicago News M WEARING EM HIGHER f Cortlandt Bleecker congratulated a at Piping Rock on the smartness of a anew a anew new lounge suit said London clothes are very good looking look ook- ing but the trousers are alwa always s un uncomfortable un- un comfortable They come up nearly to tc to your chin you know This cut Is sUPposed supposed sup sUP- posed to have a effect an and to make the coat set betterA better A nobleman was vas once rebuked by the King for the shabbiness of his trousers j U A man of your rank f the king said sternly ought to wear better trousers than those J think the nobleman's answer was a Joke but no no-he no he was speaking the literal truth when he said to the king in a tremulous voice Sir my trousers may be shabby but they cover a warm and honest heart |