Show Congress Has Gone Home Only Statesmen Left Are Wrapped in Cotton Batting By Br Frederick C. C Othman V WASHINGTON Only WASHINGTON Only statesmen statesmen statesmen states states- men left in the capitol today are marble ones with their faces wrapped carefully in cotton batting and canvas That's so they wont won't get their ears knocked off by errant girders being hauled into the legislative chambers now undergoing a refurbishing The live lawgivers are long gone though for a while there I never thought they'd make it it Sen George Malone CR R. R Nev gummed the works first with an hour 11 filibuster in favor of ot slot machines Nevadans Ne including including including ing Sen M. M hk like like these one- one armed bandits and they dont don't want em banned The senators from the more strait-laced strait states gave in to Sen Malone one one weary midnight late last week Later when they were about to wind up their labors they thought Sen Alexander Alexander Alexander Alex Alex- ander Wiley Viley R R. Wis brought up the matter of females and the kind of furs they wind around their pretty necks No More Fox FurgIn FursIn Furs Furg FursIn In the good old days he re remembered remembered remembered re- re a lady of f fashion hion was delighted to adorn herself with silver fox furs straight from the fur farms of Wisconsin Now said he the Russians were muscling into the business with Soviet furs and you seldom see seea a fox skin on a feminine back Ho wanted a law I phoned my bride about this crisis She sa said d she wouldn't want to be seen dead in silver fox She said they made ladies look dumpy She said they were out of style She said the Russians Russians Russians Rus Rus- had nothing to do with it She suggested I tell the senator senator senator sena sena- tor to go sit on a tack I didn't but the other statesmen statesmen statesmen states states- men agreed with Mrs O. O They voted down Sen Wileys Wiley's scheme to make silver foxes fashionable again Then they got around to other matters such as the biggest biggest biggest big big- gest peacetime appropriation bill of all and whether it ought to include a verboten against west west- ern Europeans selling guns to Russia For a change the gentlemen with the long green railroad tickets in their pockets weren't too talkative I got out of there Ive I've been thinking it over since and it is my considered opinion that the congressmen did a pretty good job this session At least they passed a lot of laws The Korean war caught em emoff emoff emoff off base but they recovered shortly and the same fellows who had made speeches against taxes on baby oil and bowling balls soon were slapping new taxes on everybody and everything Things immediately b bee became e c a am m e serious in the halls of congress and I must confes conies that lately Ive I've been hard put to find anything anything anything any any- thing among the law law- givers This aside from my own selfish personal viewpoint probably probably probably ably is all to the good So Id I'd say that the gentlemen deserve a restful vacation Only trouble is that most of em will willbe willbe willbe be knocking themselves out for forth forthe forthe th the next month trying to get re- re elected Cocktail Lounge They'll return after eating their Thanksgiving turkey and their newly decorated sanctums should be about ready for them The senate chamber in pink marble and gold brocade will look according to Sen Henry Cabot Lodge R. R Mass something something something some some- thing like a cross between a high-class high cocktail lounge and a prosperous bank The whole idea g gives cs him the esthetic shudders The house wont won't be quite so sogay sogay sogay gay being decorated mostly in n blue and white its great improvement improvement improvement im im- provement will be new chairs for congressmen The main advantage advantage advantage tage of the fancy seats the gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen gen gen- say is that henceforth their feet wont won't go to sleep No cracks please Let us be chari chari- table |