Show TilE I MYSTERY OF D ThE O D 0 tb 0 0 Do STUD I 10 D t 0 n 1 i The 1111 Drums By of ot 1111 HAROLD Jeopardy II ROLD Authur Atthur The MacGRATH of ot Ragged TH Edge IIIi et I t saw law some of ot this yarn unfold untold be before he- he fore my gaze some of ot it was waa told to me and the breaks bruks I filled In III with a pinch of or imagination Yes Yea sir ell Imagination Im I'm supposed to toI I have some of ot that under my thatch You see lee Im I'm scenario editor at the 0 O O. Film company's studios I. I where most moat of at the events event took place Believe e it or notTen not I Ten years ago It couldn't have hare 1 happened Ton years yearn ago It was r beyond the scope of at human imagination r I nation Nowadays however there thereIn I I t In no boundary you can go anywhere any any- I where do Anything believe bellEve anything anything any any- thing without arousing the least f comment in your neighborhood Jules Jules Verne erne Imagination got Kot an as far aa an this age and then the fuse burned out Think of ot lying flying about in the air all like an eagle dashing under the sea like a dolphin talking thou thousands anda of miles mites without visible 1 means meana through h some In the air all Why hy fifteen years ago when you bought bacon the butcher used to give you calf's calt's liver free gratis for tor the cat But Dut not these day da Perhaps the most moat wonderful Idea of ot the age is fa that anybody can make hundreds hundred of ot thousands of at dollare dollars dol dol- dol- dol lars lara a year as a moving actor Geologists tell us that the plains I about Los Angeles are gradually sinking below sea st level Fact They cannot account for tor It I can Ive I've seen the studio pa payrolls rolls Well SoIl I twenty-six twenty years before this story opens No that wont won't do EaU Eat Lynne stuff never gets by Birch our managing director All AllI Allright Allright I right well we'll begin at another point I a stormy stonny winter nigHt last winter The wind was whooping a and a yowling up the streets and Jack I Frost I almost said Jack Barrymore Barry- Barry Barrymore Barrymore more had worked out some fine scenic effects on the great window windowpanes windowpanes panes along Broadway Just the kind Rind of night for tor a young man who whoP 4 f hated moving pictures to go so out In search earch of ot onelie one lie hated them because he was as a aI I b literary fellow who still sUlI held to his first dreams for all aU that the edges I were a bit frayed In fact he w wet wap one of those highbrows who can t tsee i see anything In the movie game be because because because be- be cause the subtitles never mention Horace and that bunch bunch- same plane as those thosa musical cranks who cant can't possibly listen to an nn orches orchestra orchestra or or- ches chestra ra that hasn't an nn oboe In it I 1 could lead you forth with him from a cold forlorn garret only that would not be fact On the contrary contrary con con- he left a warm and cozy bachelor suite for which he paid I nine hundred the year He was one of ot those literary chaps who wear vear their hall hair close clipped and sell stories for tor real money Sir Cuthbert that's Cuthbert-that's that's what Im I'm goIng goIng going go go- ing to call him him grumbled grumbled all the way over to the moving mo picture theatre theatre the the- atre he had in mind For nearly a week he had been fighting his Ms cu and this was as the surrender lIe He paused before the vivid posters posters post post- ers rs of social drama knockabout comedies and West Vest melor nielo dramas dra and he said Humph any number of or times At length ho he approached approached approached ap ap- ap- ap the ticket booth and in his dime Rear row please se he said He didn't know that all seats in moving picture theatres are potluck The blase blonde thought h he was trying to crack crock a a Joke and as s he r was wag good looking she condescended to smile She pressed a a. button and anda a ft red ticket darted toward him like the tongue of ot a 0 snake If the seat sent Isn't a good on one ones Ill I'll give you another she said As the ticket did not come all the way out he plucked it forth and pushed through the swinging doors Some one he couldn't see snatched the ticket out of his grasp and blinking and stumbling and pawing unseen heads he managed to find finda a a. seat sent In the center venter of row ZHe Z He Ue had entered in the middle of the tho slapstick comedy All his an antagonism antagonism antagonism an- an returned and If he ha hadn't nt been Jammed In where where- he was hed he'd have left tho the theatre then and there Toward the end however he found himself chuckling That fellows fellow's fellows fellows fel fel- fel- fel lows low's feet were Vere funny Lights came up H He surveyed the spectators spectators' condescendingly This condescension was short lived He was astonished to observe that most rL of ot these people were his kind Intelligent Intel Intel- l well bred and well dressed He hadn't been Inside a moving picture plc- plc ture theatre In four years His recollection recollection rec rec- was of a densely packed evil smelling smalling throng of ot an ill ventilated ventilated ven yen firetrap and a thud and blunder melodrama He forgot that if It a thing doesn't grow it Immediately immediately imme Imme- dies dlee No real business ever eyer stands still Lights went down again and the C feature was projected For Tor this he had left his cheerful rooms his pipe and his books book As a a. matter of fact tact Sir Cuthbert his real name Is la Arthur Brennan an had come forth and bas- bas against the slightest en encroachment en- en lent of this new art His Ills views were Jolted like the crystals in a kaleidoscope when you give It a n. sudden turn He saw a real play real actors excellent Int Interiors marvelous outdoor backgrounds coherency and aDd good taste neither murder battle nor sudden death but human comedy human impulses and human love I know kno because I took particular pains Ins in building up the scenario of that five At thirty nine-thirty he went scent out with the crowd rather an abstract expression expression expression ex ex- ex- ex on his face He paus paused d ed eddied td Irresolutely while the outflow died about him A whimsical grin suddenly twisted up the corners of ot othis his mouth He started off for the corner drugstore and ami entered the telephone booth Is Mr lr Griswold In In he asked The Tho answer came back Xo No o he heIs heis heis is spending ding at the University Uni- Uni club Thank you He entered the doors of the University Uni Uni- vers ty club at precisely 10 He was not a member He let the Harvard club serve all his inclinations inclinations this form torm of social recreation recreation rec rec- and his friends saw him there but rarely He lie gave his card to the doorman who called to another attendant Brennan walked Into the nearest room and sat down to wait walt Andas And as he waited the whimsical smile returned from time time to time but a certain grimness began to change its quality and a hardness settled at athis athis athis his Jaws Jaws' ends Mr 11 r Good evening Brennan Brennan stood Good evening Mr Griswold I came to see you OU for fo the purpose of advising y yoU ou that I 1 accept I IAh Ah Ahl You have changed your our mind 1 Yes My I mind fe quite human like ike the rest of oC me 1 I have ha until September 1st Mr Mi Griswold stroked Midnight bi his stubbly white mustache You ou rather disappoint me young manFrom man From your pre ire attitude I hardly hard hard- ly expected d to see you again Brennan Drennan lau laughed I dare say lay Io T r ro do o disappoint you Nothing would please pleas you better than the continuance ance 0 ot my previous attitude My ort original opinion however howe remains Intact Then you have an ulterior purpose I purpose pur pur- ur- ur pose polle pose I Interestedly I have May In I Inquire what hat it Is You may on t Or nr r after alter September first Good night eight Courteously the young man bowed boned turned on his heels and vanished d Into the hall The lawyer frowned as all h he eyed eved the flat back Then he be shrugged Why the boy hadn't one chance In Ina Ina ina a thousand win two out of three thre but the third obstacle would be Insurmountable It wasn't humanly po possible for him to winIt win It wasn't t meant to be possible He Ht strode oft off to the writing room anil wrote a long letter and dispatched it by bj II special eCla I delivery then he went to his game of ot bridge satisfied that so far as ItS ho ht was concerned the In Incident Incident incident In- In was clo closed ed II The star of the O O. O. O was WI R R. slapstick comedian and if it ever a aman aman aman man earned his hi wage he did and did and does clops Outside the studios he was wasa a likable chap who played golf resolutely and rea read read- l and had a lit great opinion of ot himself himself him him- self as a boxer Im I'm going to call him Cholly and let it go at that One bright California Cholly came Into the managing dIrectors dIrector's di directors director's directors director's dI- dI rectors rector's office and flung himself disconsolately Into the chair at the tho side of the de desk k hats the trouble Cholly asked the managing director wearn wear wear- n ily Why ask rue me me My releases are two a arent aren't they Th They y are are or ought to be Shoot Did the new man tall fall down SHe He laid down clown said Cholly About three hundred feet of ot good stuff stutt gone to pot F Fell Into the orchestra when I hit him hint with the custard pie Then he got up and began to claw the custard What's the use use I tell you rou Birch If you ou want two a month youve you've go got to find me a a- a aman man who can stand up without a shiver Pie custard lemon cream chocolate and chocolate and charlotte russe russeT russe They used to throw pie into my face tace but I never turned yellow in in- in side Im I'm telling you I work Ilko a nailer Im I'm here there every every everywhere where I sweat a gallon ever every time I 1 g get t Into that dam studio We Ve are two releases behind schedule I e dona done my part the rest Is up to you ou even if it you have to pay some one a hundred a week Pie PI Theres There's your bally American American Ameri Ameri- can can public I threw a pie in the first reel and now we c cant can't nt put anything a across cross without the thea stuff Ill I'll never be abl able to eat another dish of custard as long as as I- I Ilive live Pie i R Tho The managing director drector reached into a hole cubby and anel drew Out ut a slip He Ho consulted it for a mo me- ment J Cholly ChoU youre you're rough Well I cant can't help that that When l I kick a man in the stomach Im I'm always thinking of ot the picture and possibly I kick I mean to Ye Lets Let's see Ford Ford went to the hospital with a broken arm McGuire McGuire Mc- Mc Guire will wm carry a scar scalp down downto to his grave Morse soaked us twenty five hundred in damages We Ve paid eight hundred to save JIllson's Jillson's Jillson's Jill- Jill sons son's eye Id I'd hato hate to tell you what youve you've cost us in pie and property Quit your sJ spoofing Do you vou suppose I like this pie stuff I want to pIa play straight comedy and you keep turning out these pie scenarios until the l censors throw a fit tit e every ery time the they see a single sheet of mine I want a a. chance to play straight comedy 1 I Any objections to Hamlet the uso use trying to tell you OU chaps anything Cholly Chotty got up lp wrathfully Wait Wai t a second theres there's the phone Birch picked up p the in instrument in- in strument Hello Oh that Oh-that that you Miss 1 Burns Burns' Oh you dont don't meant that Hes He's tight fight here at this moment Kicked you brutally in inthe inthe inthe the shins did he Was Vas it In the scenario Oh it was But Lord you cant can't leave us In the lurch like this the last moment Vh Why youre you're half the show Birch turned and winked at the glowering comedian Stick it opt out for a few days longer Sure I promised y you U straight drama when the chance turned up Stick SUck it out will you you That's a good girl Birch hung up the re receIver receiver receiver re- re and rumpled his hair My le leading dl g lady said Cholly And she's a peach too if you want my opinion What did you ou do doto doto doto to her this morning Kicked her shins under the table tablea a j a-j per Scene Twenty ln In the fashionable fashionable fash tash- restaurant She knew what was coming I told her yesterday She could have worn pads under tier her pink silk sUk stockings for that scene for fr it lasts only thirty seconds sec sec- You see ho how ho hoIt It Is You lay layout layout layout out work for Cor me and the they all howl when I follow directions That up close-up under the table will wUl be a a. scream Yes and I Just heard H It Well Ive I've got to have a a. newman new man Hes He's got to be tough hes he's got ot to know how to act a a. little at and d to stand still sUIl when I throw pies I Imade Imade I Imade made nearly a million for tor the firm last year year year- An acting director rushed in Thirty extras tomorrow at ten- ten thirty he shouted Men len and women women wo wo- wo- wo men ballroom stuff This novel by that chap Craig Is great stuff Miss Desmond Desmond is simply putting It over Well well we'll lust bust em wide open with this Lo Lo Cholly Lo La Bill Dont forget forge those extras for to tomorrow to- to morrow The acting director dashed Out 0 And a new man for me at atthe the same time And Why not tell hImat him himat himat at the start Just what hes he's up P against said Chol Ill do the best I can Cholly Alone once more as he supposed Birch bowed his head In his hands He lived U in a den of snarling wolves and spitting she leopards If he liked a player he never dared show it lf he hated one he had to keep his hatred under cover If one of the directors wanted a second-hand second railroad engine to throw over a brol broken en trestle why he had to go out and hunt for It About all aU he be did was to sign vouchers hire actors actors act act- ors Discharge them settle temperamental temperamental temperamental tempera tempera- mental disputes dicker with authors authors auth auth- ors era and theatrical managers plan advertising campaigns keep sup sup- i plies at par fight extravagance with the acting directors and stinginess stinginess ness nass with the stockholders For Instance what in the name of Solomons Solomon's wives did these theae women do with hairpins hairpins' They used a a. million a week He lie bad been married married mar mar- ried ned sixteen A years ears and a box of hairpins lust cl Mrs Birch a good six months He lie wished he had a farm tann somewhere some sume- where and could raise rain intelligent potatoes potatoes' Ahem came from a little east of ot north the one drab corner of Birch's office Birch turned with a n Jump He aw saw a 0 young man good looking with twinkling blue eyes and a a. whimsical smile that cried Irish a mile off Where d dou you ou come ome from demanded de de- de- de mantled Birch stormily From outside said the stranger stran tran- ger gel Can you read and write asked Birch ominously I Oh yes Well WIl go outside and read that sign on the door I read tead it as I came In Birch gushed l a button savagely A 4 boy came In Jimmy howd how'd this man nian man get by you He threw me halfway y down the stairs sir An then sent me over to the supplies for a a. pair of scissors I Jest got back bacle Well YOU open the door 1001 for this g- g gentleman open gentleman open It wide and wide and show him out out II Birch turned to o his desk and began to write keyed up for the coming slam-bang slam of ot the door A minute passed another and still another Slowly he wheeled his to chair chair to behold a tableau the like of which he had never seen here before |