Show 1 Henry McLemore ore Mac Finds Arm Army's s No Place For Rest and Rel Relaxation CAMP BLANDING Fla If you are one of ot those abnormal cr creatures who likes to sleep and who likes to sit down then the army Isn't the place for you The army definitely frowns on these two shall we say pas pas- times The army doesn't come right out and tell you that sleepIng sleeping sleeping sleep- sleep Ing and sitting down are practically practically practically forbidden but it isn't long until It seeps Into your consciousness consciousness consciousness con con- that th these se two mad weird civilian habits have little or no place In army life The army gives a recruit a abed abed abed bed sure but if you could ever get the army alone in a corner comer look it straight in the eye and ask it why it Issued beds to soldiers honesty would force the army to admit that It wasn't primarily for sleeping purposes The army gave me a bed but I would swap it right now for a chocolate malted milk or a cap that fits because I could get a alot alot alot lot more use out of either of those commodities than I do out of my bed Theoretically the army gives you as many hours to sleep as you ever get as a civilian But boy what It gives you with one hand it takes away with the other A soldier c can go t to b bed d as early as if he wants to but I if he can go to sleep with the racket that is going on around aroundhim aroundhim aroundhim him hed he'd be a sucker not to get getup getup getup up and go collect his insurance because hes he's dead Take my own hut for exam xam- pIe Two bunks from me is a aman aman aman man whose family gave him a cornet when he left for camp and he is learning to play it He starts practicing at and continues until the lights go out at The man has little or orno orno no talent as a cornet comet player Im I'm betting even money that five years from now he wont won't be able to substitute for a seal in a circus circus circus cir cir- cus playing My Country of ot Thee At least six of the youngsters youngsters youngsters young young- In my hut but are arc jitterbug en en- So they hum and sing and jitterbug until check bed-check time which is 1050 Two guys snore not counting myself Another Another Another An An- other fellow writes letters all aU night with what must be a chisel and a hammer That fountain pen of his makes so much noise that everyone in the hut but can tell teU what hes he's writing At four in the morning the themen themen men roen in the hut but who have drawn KP detail are roused by the guard Do you think he sneaks In in carpet slippers sUppers and nudges the KP boys Hell no He walks in on hobnailed boots after carefully slamming the thedoor thedoor thedoor door of course turns on the lights and bellows for tor his man This to get one man up out of 20 The guard Is usually lonesome lonesome lone lone- some by this time of the morning morning morning morn morn- ing so he hangs around and talks with the KP victim while he makes up his bed Oh I forgot something The bed check is at 1050 The bed check is made by the noncom In charge of ot quarters for the purr pure pose of seeing that all aU men Inthe in inthe inthe the company are accounted for tor Youve You've heard of dawn comin up like thunder out of China across the bay Well Kipling's dawn dawnis is a mouse with spats on compared compared compared com com- pared to the noncom In charge of quarters making the bed check He too carefully slams the do door r when he comes in To keep him from disturbing sleeping sleeping sleep sleep- ing soldiers by turning on the lights the army has equipped him with a portable antiaircraft searchlight battery He leans over you and turns this searchlight searchlight searchlight search search- light on your face The effect is the same as looking into the headlights of ot a locomotive If this doesn't wake you up you'd better start studying Braille As for sitting down it isn't even worth writing about because because because be be- cause you just dont donL Where the benches are you are not allowed to sit Where you are allowed to sit there are no benches Now I know where the phrase the standing army came from A colored of a a. colored regiment here was dissatisfied with the speed with which themen the themen themen men in his company responded when he blew his whistle So he had this to tell them Listen you soldiers you When I blows that whistle I wants to see a huge impenetrable cloud of dust come rolling out dem barracks and and when dat dust clears I wants to see three rows of statues |