Show I Walter BROADWAY B R 0 A D A Y GOSSIP G 0 S SIP ObservatIons of a New ew Yorker This column always h helpful suggests that the citizens and nd others listed below who might ight be worried ab about ut how to make maice themselves happier In 1936 accept accept ac ac- ac the following o lowing free advice Pres Roosevelt who was openly openly open open- l ly snubbed by Alt Alf Smith when the latter was invited to the White WhiteHouse House Houle to spend the night Yours is a conspicuous chin chin dont don't dont lead with it like that To syndicate executives movie chiefs lecture bookers and othera others others oth oth- ers era who understandably want a successor to Will Vilt Rogers Stop looking looking for for such rare guys pick you not you them John Edgar Hoover whose G G- G Men bureau is coming in for or by amateur uplift- uplift ers Dont Don't worry and remember this The Death Watch Vatch never sits sitson sitson sitson on you until unlit you ou are making g good od Magazine Editors who are publishing publishing publishing pub pub- lishing stuff on crime its cause its cure etc Dont Don't be so 80 gullible and wicker most of that hooey the authors are putting over on you It belongs in the funny sections Max All AU that talk you are handing out about what youre you're going to do to Joe Louis Dont Don't return to be killed He will spoil your good looks and Hitler will blame it on the non Arans Narrators for the v. ne newsreels eels who madd madden n us with puns and excited yells ell Remember that the camera tells It funnier I Patriots who rap the press for tor bothering Lindbergh and say he should hould be left alone Watch the British dispatches Music critics who bewilder readers with comments comment on gatos timbre musicianship and 50 0 forth Read Olin Downes Downes' lowdown lowdown lowdown low- low down pan on Rosa Ponselle in Carmen which Carmen which is readable fury Mayor LaGuardia who has shown a good effort to make this a good town When the big problem problem problem lem is why can 12 racket kings run the burg burg dont don't dont get busy about the artichoke voters 60 per cent of them wouldn't know an artichoke even without Hollandaise Hol- Hol sauce Foreign correspondents who think a year ear of foreign service gives them the right to pen t te tedious tedious te- te dious books about their jobs Read Walter Valler Duranty's I Write as I Please and and Vincent Vincent Personal H History story and then go gosland stand and in ill a corner for tor a few years Elsie Ferguson who made a II apolitical apolitical political speech over the air full of oC all the stenciled phrases of witted dim politicians sakes Elsie dont don't let them make you OU ay such stupid things Garbo whose Anna was a gal who would have sent Tolstoy out into the night beating his chest Dont Don't let them kid you with awesome authors when all you need is a man and a n. camera Stanley Stanle Walker whose Mrs Astor's Horse was a jolly history of strange creatures Write a aS S tome tome on the wits of ot a generation ago such as Rennold Wolf VoU Acton Davies Davic Stephen Crane et a al George White whose eye eye for lovely dolls dolts Is the most cunning of nil all the managers and who cant can't be topped for hoofing specialties specialties specialties Be more choosey choose George next time you pick comedy sketches To ro the tho Los Angeles Angelea Police Dept which is zealous In keeping the city clean Come clean with your lot of or press BO so you ou wont won't have a getting their opinions before belore the world as is happening in the Thelma Todd Case a hone honey for th the press agents Broadway managers who alibi their flops lops by saying that Hollywood Hollywood Hollywood Holly Holly- wood has l taken ken all the worthy players Look at George Georgo Abbott who has ha peopled two hits Boy Meets Girl and Three Men on ona ona ona a Horse with lots of swell entertainers entertainers enter enter- none of whom has a name Hollywood HollY authors who are aregood aregood aregood good boys and do as they are arc told Get together Wether fellers tellers and refuse to write It Happened One Night more than twice during the new calendar Mary Pickford iio who Is writing for tor running books book talking about Cong Congress ess planning pictures smiling smiling smil smil- ing coyly when mentioned in a romance and and keeping alive the myth Americas Sweetheart Relax The Dionne quintuplets who are perhaps the only movie stars who have held their public with with- out getting the swelled head Sleep In peace for lor yours is the only act that defies copycats Prime Minister Baldwin Bald whose face was saved by the resignation of Sir Samuel Hoare when the British squawked over ovet the Ethiopian Ethiopian Ethiopian pian Peace grab Always have a a. patsy hand handy To the press agents for the G. G O. O P. P who will need some cunning publicity plants plant to endear their choices to the voters Dont Don't put your candidates on a a. load of oC hay because again because when the picture is published it I is more comical than Coolidge in a cowboy suit Detroit sports sport writers writer who show how the proper booster spirit when Joe Louis and Mickey Cochrane's Cochranes Cochranes Cochrane's Coch- Coch ranes rane's Tigers bring fame to their town Dont Don't slop lop with such goo about Mickey and Joe ending the depression Mussolini whose press releases rate cut-rate the casualties that the war report reporters r send from the front Make it a point as s Selassie did to turn out an occasional gloomy now and then or the public wont won't believe an any of them from Italy The Warner Varner Brothers who yanked their copyrighted ditties off oft the air conferred both a curse and a blessing Lots of familiar bores wont won't be heard now But l if their move drives people into dialIng dialIng dialing dial dial- ing in on the dramatic sketches the Warners will vili have plenty on their consciences Senator Borah who is beating bealing up votes for the White House throne Bear in mind you OU always led in the Winter book but on a fast track you were crowded out of ot win place and show Alexander who writes write and tells anecdotes better than most people Worry Vorry your contributors contributors contributors con con- into forwarding yarns about bout country editors and get richer binding them in a book Alvin Karpis Public Enemy Number One who is still at large Better get yourself another face face face- because the G already have a likeness of you OU in that new kisser you ou recently bought The Group Theater a worthy play outfit which took an ad to tell the world the things the critIcs critics critics crit crit- ics overlooked in Clifford Paradise Lost Just produce em em dont don't dont explain em Trade Mark Registered Copyright 1936 Daily Mirror Inc |