| Show Walt Walter WiO chell BROADWAY B R 0 A D W A Y G GOSSIP 0 S SIP When you read in the papers what the millionaires ires are doing to kill time and nd fight off ott the jitters jitters jit jit- you sometimes feel that its it's a waste of time to scurry of off to the savings bank every week tryIng tryIng try try- Ing to be one of ot them Apart from allowing you to pay your own way and s sass ss people who annoy you a million bucks can give you nothing but trouble Youre You're hearIng hearing hear hear- ing from one who studies them from a distance of ot course but who if It he suddenly found a mil ml- lion in his paws w would uld do none nono of the following which sugared front pagers are it seems forever forever for tor ever doing He would not like to o wake up some somo morning with an expansive feeling toward his stockholders and just to please se them add a couple of ot pennies to their divIdends dividends divi divI- by firing a regiment of ot wage He wouldn't join strange suffering suffer sutter ing jug cults cult and dress in old news newspapers newspapers news news- papers just so he be could score Inho in inthe the tho weekly as a Millionaire Millionaire Million aire Eccentric of ot whom there are rapidly becoming more than Smiths He would be damned if It he would surround himself with s scented loafers with a gift for for insulting 1 I repartee because when they go home they make fun of ot their benefactor and dive into his family history to discover which of ot his forbears was strung up up for I horse orse theft thelt He would shun some fellow renow millionaires who wh became so by a resolute for the heart of ot a toothed buck w will wall ll flower and whose constant comment on the poor frau would shame a Paris cadet cadeL S He would not if he was a millionaire millionaire mil mil- by inheritance go away to Greenwich Village and sulk and apologize for his fathers father's sordid sordid sordid sor sor- sor- sor did gelt because the Village garrets gar gar- rots are r often ratty and drafty and you cant can't keep on sneezing at a warm bed and three daily dally m meals als He would not let his name be engraved on certain Endowment and charity ch letterheads because too often otten these are rackets which not not only fail to benefit the people peo peo people plo they promise but actually clip cUp them He o would not suddenly develop a passion for paying for a crumbling candlestick k which is Is' valuable only because Marie Antoinette An An- toinette threw w it at a courtier whose whoso la lace e cu cuffs s didn't match He Ho would not atte attend d th the theater with baritone debutantes I who I common un t getting to their middle of at the row seats eatS and who fuss than Mussolini in Ethiopia if they cant can't read their programs in the dark He would sidestep dinners with bridge because if It he went In for tor forthe the tho soul destroying game at all he would prefer to play it with transAtlantic transAtlantic transAtlantic trans- trans Atlantic card sharps with whom he would have a better chance than n with the vacant faced idlers who snicker r nt at Hoyle himself He would forfeit his lire life rather than join committees for tor the encouragement encouragement en en- of this genius or that because the harassed composer composer com corn poser or a author thor or s sculptor has nothing but contempt for his sponsors and wouldn't cater to them at nt all aU except for tor money He wouldn't burrow around New v England for worm worm eaten chairs because according to other millionaires it Is almost as painful painful painful pain pain- ful and upsetting dignity to crash in a 1620 Chippendale as in a bad job from Grand Rapids He would not establish libraries whistling because because because be be- at the prairie posts cause Carnegie has already done doneso so 80 and that worthy would probably ly Iy ask for tor a refund if it he knew some of the gh ghastly books his dough paying is-paying for He Ho would not upon his return from front abroad buttonhole the ship news reporters and orate ponderously ponderously ponderously ponder ponder- on the stability of the kroner because he knew they would be bo more marc interested in learnIng learning learn learn- I ing whom he got plastered with within with in Vienna and would ho he oblige a pal with her address He Ho would not pose for the news newsreels reels at an pi picnic nic wolfing wolfing wolf wolf- ing hot bot dogs and ice cream cones b because cause even if such truck didn't make him hint sick the picture would later If It ho hI happened to buy a newspaper newspaper newspaper news news- paper he would let Jet somebody run it who was trained d for the work and would never dr drop p in to dash dashoff dashoff off oft a trenchant editorial on how wonderful it is to be right and that happiness is much more agreeable than misery l He would surround nd hims himself lf with people who interested him and if it a climber offered to stake him to a weekend with the Infante and Infanta of Something or the Grand Duke Fritz who is doing a brisk side business In in real es estate estate es- es tate his first guery query would auld be What are they trying to sell seU me and how much If miraculously he gave a box party at the Metropolitan he would try to remember it is Tos- Tos canini Jeritza Tibbett and the performers the people came to see not his diamond encrusted blonde although she ISho ho may be all l right too He would try to keep in mind U that t for all aU his cash the day ends for him Mm exactly as it ends for a a ditch digger digger asleep in beed He would not sponsor any outdoor outdoor outdoor out out- door camps camps' for girls where they could get sturdy and self reliant because a man is no longer master mastero o of the woman he cant can't lick Copyright 1935 1933 Daily Mirror Inc |
