| Show tIFE'S IFE'S LEGAL RIGHT i I i I TO CHILDREN BRINGS L U r PROBLEM LOYALTY OF-LOYALTY OF V Vi i J 5 Friendship Broken ken When When Two Two Boys Like Eke Same Same Girl Difference of Between Friends j i I Opinion i R Results I ts in In Q Quarrels Is f I E By BETTY BLAIR I The relationship of ot a a. man and woman I may be their Individual Int In- In t I affair But If they have brought a a. a child o or chilI chil- chil I dren in Into the wO world d that that that-Is Is their joint affair A A. child n needs cds and andI Is entitled to the comfort and aid help of ot both father and rn m mother ther i Dear Miss Blair Recently I obtained a divorce from my husband on m mental cruelty charges because he was u unfaithful to me I have been lieen f Liven the legal right to our two children but their father has been given the right to io come and visit them every so often otten After wrecking my mylie life the way waybe waybe be he has I feel eel that I cant can't endure to have him around I never even want to see him II II 1 again I cant can't speak 1 I fl decently of ot him to the children but for forI urMi I some reason or II I I 1111 other they still stUls seem em I II to want him Of ot Ofa a course they dont don't dontI l I kii f i what know it is is all N. N about as they arc are P only 7 ar and d 9 years 1 old When they ask U for their father lather I want to tell them not to mention his name came again that he be didn't love them or he wouldn't h have I acted as he did But for or some reason or other their innocent love for him ke keeps ps me ma from saying as much as that We could not keep th the children from hearing some of at our bitter quarrels and they think it it-is it is because because be be- cause of ot these that that we we have sepa rated Their quest questions ns have nearly nearly near near- ly Jy driven me crazy The strange thing about it is that a aman man can continue to love his children when he can be such sucha a demon to his wife Is there anything any thing I can do other than making myself scarce or refusing to be pleasant to him hUn when he comes to discourage him from taking the privilege the law allows him of these weekly visits to the children chil chU children dren INDIGNANT Even though you no longer have respect for your f former ormer husband as a husband you must try to show him respect as the childrens children's father lather for forthe forthe forthe the childrens children's sake After Alter all all you chose this particular man to be the 1 lather father of your children They badI had bad I n nothing to say as to who should or should not net be their father and it will willbe willbe willbe be a sad re reflection on your own choice i it If you teach these children to disrespect disrespect the man whom they should hould honor as a father The same caine thing applies to a man He lie may be disillusioned about the woman he chose to be the mother ol his children Nevertheless he should show her respect as the mother of his Ms child if for lor no other reason A child can have only one father and nd one mother These may not be perfect or even good as as' as Individuals but as parents for better or for worse they are his and he is theirs No law can alter the biological fact of parenthood od or give that child another mother or father lather And because of this fact it sometimes biological happens happens hap hap- pens that when a child reaches legal lega ag age age he he discards one parent in favor I of the other elv because of ot the inh inheritance ii he he has hi 5 received through ough th that thit t parent Part Fart of your children belongs toI to I that whether you like It or or not a part that you may never be beI beable beable I able to understand and having a n need ed that you cannot satisfy a and that he finds finds' only in his his- other other- parent Yo You should bite your tongue ou out before you criticise this parent before I the children Y You u should have the courage and the unselfishness unselfishness' to pu put your pride in your pocket and encourage age the childrens children's father to come am and andlee see lee them as often as he like likes And dont don't make it uncomfortable for him Try rry to teach your r. r children that although al though you are not living with their father lather the absent abent one is a 8 good ant and worthy parent Dont Don't let them out o of loyalty to you turn against their own 1 It will wili be something in the years to come that they have had an ideal in Letters questions and requests re re- quests for advice should be addressed ad dressed to MISS BET BETTY T y BLAIR HEARTS HEART'S HAVEN TELEGRAM SALT LAKE Write legibly upon only one side of the paper It n is necessary that you that you a ap append append ap- ap pend the right name and address ad dress but these will wm be hel held in strict confidence and will not nut appear in print Questions involving in adv advertising information cannot be answered I both parents to 10 live up to FRIENDS BECOME RIVALS ALS Dear Miss Blair This is my first letter to your column and I 1 have ha a avery very annoy annoy ing problem to present About three months month ago agol I started taking out a young lady who had been going steadily with a very fine tine young man but had for lor some reason rea rca son unknown to me broken n up with witti him I Iwa was previous to tak taking ing her out a avery very avery good friend of hL his This his girl has a sister who is Ii goIng go go- log Ing with my very best friend and I it is through him I got to know her She says she does doe not like the boy with whom she had been going previous previous' to me He is a regular fellow except he be is rather narrow minded about girls I would like to g get t some advice on how t to get back in his good graces as I do not want to have haveS any enemies I would also like Uke to know when you go steady with a girl does it mean you love her IN THE DARK Your last question first Going steady with a girl may mean only that you prefer h her r company to that of or any other girl with whom you OU have gone or whom you can persuade to accept your company in preference to o that of other boys lor forthe the time be ing ng No girl must take it lor granted that hat a boy loves her because he be asks to o go steady To limit yourself to the he company of ot one girl may be the forerunner of ot a love that develops because of oX this exclusive companion companion- on- on ship It may on the other hand be bethe bethe bethe the means of ot acquainting two with each other who have very little in in common and who therefore decide that love between them is impossible It t may mean that only one of ot the two may fall falI in love with the other Boy friends should not become enemies because they both like Ike the same girl Why don't dont dont don't you go to this friend and say to him Old pal we both like the same ame girl gir and andI I dont don't suppose us could us-could could help that but lets let's not not permit this fact to break breakup up our friendship So far as Im I'm concerned con its it's a case of ot whichever one makes good with her that wins win If that one that one happens to tobe to-be be you you may mayi have my hand on it If U it h happens to tobe tobe be me I should still want your friend ship I Boys and men can be so frank with each other it seems to me it would be bea a fine line thing for lor you to practice frankness frank frank- ness wi with him inthis r regard ar QUARRELS WITH BOY FRIEND Dear Miss Bl Blair Blair ir My boy friend have been been going steady for lor several months We have grown very fond of ot each other but we we are continually fighting We find a difference of opinion over every every- little thing that occurs and the evening ends with eL a quarrel Separation would I be distasteful to both but it is In evitable What Is your advice to tous us DISSATISFIED PAm PAIR Young people are re apt to ta be very intolerant of ot any views that differ from their own They are to be opinionated pini even about matters concerning concerning con which they have a superficial icia knowledge They will say outright that thata a thing is th thus and so so when sage old graybeards graybear with ye years rs of ot study on the question would hesitate to give a curbstone opinion I It is always a sign of good breeding when hen the very young will listen to another's point of ot view and accord him ilm the right to it without an emotional emo emo- lonal reaction Even in the state state- statement statement ment of your own point of view you should hould do so without emotion without without with with- out an argumentative tone of ot voice The point of ot view of ot either may not note be e worth anything at all aU all certainly not worth a quarrel and sho should ld be regarded merely as an attitude of mind that may change tomorrow with greater knowledge I have been trying to think of a single le thing in the world that is worth wortha a q quarrel arr and I cant can't think of ot one |
