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Show SUCCESSFUL t PARENTHOOD - J3t , VjVl By MRS' CATHERINE C. EDWARDS r i-, J Associate Editor. Parenfi Magaxln - TEMPORIZING WITH SHYNESS ball all the time. On the other hand, if your child's shyness takes the form of misbehaving in company you may be pretty sure he doesn't prefer to live within himself. He is, instead, struggling to find a social footing with others and in his ignorance of how to go about it, his probable envy of the adults for whom sociability so-ciability seems so easy, he acts ugly in sheer self defense. Youngsters who thus long for notice and approval can be saved this defensive shyness by being taught from infancy how to meet strangers. Begin with the postman and other daily visitors who will usually respond to a friendly greeting. greet-ing. When a guest is expected, discuss dis-cuss the event beforehand and prepare pre-pare the child with something to say, some book or toy to show that is, you make him feel that he belongs in the picture if only for a short interval. If the occasion proves more overpowering than the child could meet, don't mention men-tion his failure afterwards. Just prepare him a little better the next time and perhaps pick your guest from among those friends whose understanding of children brings out confidence. Above all, give children of both types the one really solid foundation founda-tion of self-confidence, the assurance assur-ance that you not only love them but that you like the kind of person per-son they are. watching the clouds. In between these solitary enjoyments, enjoy-ments, which he will seek out for himself, arrange now and then for one or two children his own age to come to your house to participate partici-pate in some game at which your child is skilled, such as croquet (and serve refreshments!), have interesting older friends for dinner din-ner frequently, let the child be host at a movie party occasionally. As you will note, all these social contacts con-tacts arranged for the retiring child are of a type where there's something to do that he isn't called call-ed upon to carry the conversational The shy child often causes par--ents unnecessary concern. Many children instinctively withdraw until they are familiar with a situation situ-ation and know what is expected of them. Indeed, this type of slow acceptance of what is strange and new is often an advantage. It tends to lead to deeper knowledge of places, persons and things than is acquired by those who never go below the surface of an experience. So if your child appears unusually unus-ually timid, first try to discover whether he is the type who will always find his deepest satisfaction satisfac-tion within himself, or whether he wants to be sociable but doesn't know how. If the former, do not push into constant activity with a group. Give such children plenty of time for books; for building with blocks, or playing in the sand, for designing doll clothes or working at experiments, ;for long walks with a dog, for lying in the grass |