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Show J : A Line of Type or Two , "Fay ce que voaMras. t By B. U. T. We dor.'t know much, as Kd Kowe used . to prelude, arid so we don't know wheiher j a troty wi:hout reservations would keep the peace. But w- know enouch to know I tr.at a treaty wi'.h reservations is not worth a Lug, big: D. Mr. W i'.son knows it, too, but he has a doMphtfully offensive offen-sive manner of explaining it. Die Schoenste Lengevitch- (From the Milwaukee Sentinel. If China in respect to this Shantung qut-st:on were a small country aggrcsst-d upon by a big country, American sympathy sympa-thy with tho Chinese people would be more warmer than it is. A man v.-ho puts away his straw hat in hot weather, merely because September iias come, has no license to laugh at the &:rls who go in lor summer i'urs. You Just Have to Turn It Every Week or So. Sir: Household hint in the Motine Dispatch Dis-patch : '"Knitted underwear is a Cieat saving:, as it needs no laundering." "Would you suggest the turning now in vogue? K. M. P. Peace Hath Its Heroes. (From the Elevated News.) Metropolitan Conductor Edward Maher, badge 47tis, is commended for attention shown passengers in lowering window shades and otherwise looking out for their comfort. Station Agent Miss A. Holmbeck, South Side, is thanked and commended for restoring re-storing a lost package of papers. South Side Trainman Joseph J. Non-kovioh, Non-kovioh, badge 2S15, is commended for courtesy and willingness to give a passenger passen-ger the information desired. Metropolitan Trainman B. Horacek, badge 4U32, is commended for the tact and good Judgment he displayed in handling han-dling an unruly passenger. There are people so suspicious as to believe that the gas and electric corporations corpora-tions supported the repeal of the daylight saving law. We'd hate to be so suspicious, suspi-cious, wouldn't you? Time Could Not Wither This. Sir: Handicapped as I am by distance and by the failure of Mr. Burleson to deliver de-liver my paper until the day following the date line, it is with genuine apprehension appre-hension of finishing in the position formerly for-merly designated in Pullman road race days as "second to the bunch," that I submit that Mr. Curcl was a little to Galli for madame. J. U. H. The Australian Poin of View (From the Melbourne Argus.) Tradesman wishes acquaintance working work-ing girl, good figure, medium height, view above. H. J. Windsor, P. O. When Mr. Wilson drops into slang he reminds us of a nice girl trying to swear. Perhaps he thinks it helps him to get next to the people by using their shirt-sleeved vernacular; but shirt-sleeves and a silk hat make a queer combination. Problem of Syntax. Sir: They told us at school of the neutralising neu-tralising action of two negatives, but said nothing about three. The facts are that a friend and I stood tip to an cx-bar and drank Tecla tipples as we talked. We talked of the Actors' Egoty association and its leader, Francis AVilson, the Gom-pers Gom-pers of unskilled labor; of the whereabouts where-abouts of Francis Sayre, father of some of President AVilson' s grandchildren; of the seasickness of Admiral Gary T. Grayson, Gray-son, kinsman of Sir Joseph Porter; of Colonel House's losing the president's ear; of the !Four Gold Pens, the Fourteen Cold Points and the Twenty-one Sold Principles: of the Seven Mild Preservationists, Preservation-ists, the Nine Wild Rejectionists, and the Thirty-seven Riled Ratifiealionists; of well, you know how fellows talk. We were diverted by the ex-bartender's saying: say-ing: "Ain't there no knife here no more?" We turned, and saw that he was concerned con-cerned about unsealing a quart bottle of prewar kummel. Also we gasped. He explained ex-plained that he was opening ft for two U. S. revenue officers who dropped in nightly for the cordial. "Them's them at tho other end of the bar," he added, pointing. point-ing. We asked If he were not afraid they wourd have the law on him. He wasn't, he said, and explained: "Their business lies between one-half of one per cent and two-and-a-half per cent. This stuff's eighty-four per cent, and they can't count up that far. (To assistant.) Say, ain't thero no knife here no more?" What about the three negatives? F. D. Does It Pay to Advertise? (From the Duluth News-Tribune.) Notice To all who know Lloyd Warner: Do you think I could get 25c credit on his name? Why the notice in the Superior Telegram. CLARICE WARNER. Wo have forgotten whether Sappho was a milliner or a boarding house keeper. A milliner, perhaps: at all events a good critic of the fashions. She observed (the punk rhyme is not hers): "Sure by some milkmaid you've been taught To dress, whose gown is all too short To reach her sturdy ankles." Apparently Not. Sir: Aw, pshaw, we have a fossil egg up here a couple of million years old. Can anybody beat that? But what I started to describe was an Incident In-cident occurring in Memphis, of which I am reminded by Mr. Madden's efforts to abolish the Jim Crow law. I planted myself my-self on a seat, and had no more than done so when the cracker conductor woke up and crooked his index finger at me two or three times with the motion which Indicated his desire that I should move along. Failing to understand the signal, I remained. The conductor turned his hand over so that the motion indicated I should come to the door, which I did, he maintaining his original position of slumber slum-ber against the door jamb. Upon my arrival ar-rival within easy speaking distance he said, "Black men in this town stay where they belong. White men can do the same or go to jail. You get up beyond that black mark on the floor of that car and you stay there," upon which he closed his eves and snored, while I moseyed up beyond be-yond the black mark and stayed. Hasn't Mr. Madden been anywhere except ex-cept to Springfield and Washington? S. G. C. Unless Objection Is Made. Sir: Immersed in literary pursuits, it Is but rarely that I can give time or attention atten-tion to matters political; yet I feel it no less than a duty, before nominations for the post of academy auctioneer be closed, to appeal for your suffrages in behaif of Barker Noyes of Altoona: and if the suggestion sug-gestion is well received. I move you, sir, that whenever they function, the academy's acade-my's interests be protected by Messrs. Pickett & Bidwell of Buffalo. EPAPHRODITUS PECKHAif. Soup Stock, Mebbe. Sir: Passing along Jackson street this morning I saw a porter enter a basement cafeteria with a box of discarded straws from a near-by hat store. Of course, they can work over the hay for b. f. and bran t.Wcits, but how do they utilize the ribbons? rib-bons? ' E- M- G- The German mark is worth 25 centimes in Switzerland. If you know what the centime is worth in Switzei land you can compute the value of the mark in American Ameri-can coin. No Place for Sick People. fFrom the Belfast. Me.. Journal.) Wanted A man, woman or child to board and eare for. Invalids not wanted. Apply Waldo county hospital. |
