OCR Text |
Show I . I A Line o Type or Two I 'Lord, what fools these mortals be.'j f ; f By B. L. T. Tlie Vici Kids. You mind the old woman that lived In a shoe, Distressed by her progeny vast,. And wau-hed all her firstlinjw grow peaked and t li in. But nevL-r could broaden her last. She was reedy and needy and out at the toes, And friu'lKl'uliy down at the he-M, But she kopt th'eni riivo on filet of sole And cutlets of calfskin for veal. Like her is our Wood row, the world in his shoe, All peopled" with new little nations That call him Para, and look up to him, For comfort and counsel and rations. More bootless his labors than hers, and 'tis sad To see how his great heart is shaken;' For now when a victory kid calls him dad: "Bug- pardon," says he, "you're mistaken." mis-taken." PAN. Privations sufered by conscientious objectors are set forth in a pamphlet which the lion. Billy Mason is distributing. distribut-ing. It comes at tlie wrong time to excite ex-cite our sympathy, which is given to the drive of the Salvation Army. Let's push, this over the ridge. Just as we were convinced that President Presi-dent Wilson was wrong on every count, out came Chancellor Day with a denunciation de-nunciation of Woodrow. Now we don't know what to think. Here Is a Promising Case, Watson. (From the Hamilton, Ind., News.) One night, recently, Mrs. Frank Klinkle was awakened by a queer smell in her house. Upon investigation siie found someone had crawled in the cellar window win-dow and came up into the house and had taken four dollars from a commode drawer that stood at the head of her bed. "We regret to learn from Chicago's chief of police that crime is increasing under prohibition, as that upsets one of our pet theories. Perhaps if the prohibition law were really enforced a regular carnival carni-val of crime would be the rtsult. Tli 3 Fr.U of the Snnato. LIBRETTO BY PAlSOXE T'lLDO. (A f t-.-r G b 1 d' A 2 o's dm ma tic capture cap-ture of Flume from Gen. Pittaluga.) Scene: The Old Senatorial Frontier. S: en ore iv-ria tore Lnrico Lodgio is suddenly sud-denly confronted by II Presidente Udrovio. Si-nre Lodgio. Thus you will ruin America' li I': e.ddente. Rathe- will you ruin Aa.er:-a :" you oppo-o t.ie destiny of La t'asa l:i::ica and support the infamous I oliey. S. L. (wc-akening.b V.'hat then do you wish? Ii P. eniaj ?3tica:-.y i. The surrender of III hcnatol L. I must obey orders, Vostra Mio-sia. I Ii V. I understand you wou'.d fire upon ' ye.-jr brethren. i-'iro first upon rnel i 1 !a res 1:: s brea St. p L. iw::ii emeitioi.i. I am harpy to nn-et yo-i. brave lT.-:dei:t. irOnt-le.re! irOnt-le.re! . .With i-i 1 oiy. 'v:i l.a C.-.sa liianea 1 . .VP a I -a de'.h- Naz:on::" All Preaen: da t;:t:M,.-.t. Vie.i II i'resi-d- i.te, -in S:rn..;e'- S'n -tr.re I.odio, 0 i'.'a i.a I . . e a oelle .V..:.m;;', (A seiiAPT in the- taekttround pipe? up in a thin oi"e "Y:va ri liotirlna Monrovi;-!' lie i-rr-ei!ateiy fxe-e-ip d by the erovrd, wi-.i a 1 ' e-n carrb-s off on l:s s:;ot:aiers Tl Pre.-eier.:e and ?ienore Lodlo. v ho aro fr.ini i.-aliy aueinjitins to embrace each other. Curtain. 1 If the sev.th rark r-"ii"" ':o:d doMe to on i-:nku. 'r to j';;n; in the hike, It v.-oaid not br-'a't the heart of the world, or any friction ieereed". If Ybu Know What Sho 5!eans. tFl-o:n 'he V.'.i r rlo.-, Courlrr 1 Katr.rn Mi 'l: has for years lieen the per ,f Wale: loo niilllne'-s aid tlie result re-sult Is the- popilar't- of h- r Hat .hop. Illeven covcrrin.en; p-roofreaders h"ve 1',-en tinted bo.aas,. thoy a'.'.oHed t'-.e l!'i:ne-3 of arm-.' o::l ',-rp to tie m-p- lled. T:;e p. r.'s i-lalm ill..-o le Copy ai.d oa-r-wnri:, and w e .1 beL a wroi-ic-lont T the-y'ro riht. Xotes of tho Academy of Immortals. The- fo;loTii:,r nominations h.ave teen reeeive 1: l'i,r eorea-.er: T,av. :-. ree Am n, eoroner Of Ailaiei eounlv. Neon. b- e:. S. l. I'or i:reen!, ;- on ti.e Aei' i, mv ilnks: Mr. l.aiiniiioio of I'lttsbm-e Nom. bv S. li. For ie,;t:,.r- y- M.s.all o' r.Unsn. Norn. h- i ':f.-ir W. h'or 1 - -: 1 e,un-,;: At'v. Fr.nnk T.nw-lie T.nw-lie id of I ie-1-o-i. son,, by H. I. T. Kor any acani-: Mr. ,,I1 Null of C' ntlaila. Mo, Norn, by IZ. J. C. "l-'or Sal'---In:":-, n'.'s apr.ar. l nn.l roes: nisei 3 yr. old enbd. 3ii,l I'ino Clroe." Thei Trib. If It n a k'.iI we'll buy per. A Base Calumny Befitted. . (From the I J S tile I'oMt.l Tho ina iia iier of ine M:ir,i:ietle theater V'li.,,1 m to e.-il tho pwbiir'n r.t'ention to t'.e f.i'.re rip'i:s e,,i,;i- j.i,,!!!,.! :i lemird to the' sitiey K-: i t ! 1 1 r i Pev.itleie Th-si Indies e.nne to lis well reeoiiinietided b' i' ..-l,r.'t,,,s t l,,v.t, t t),. u,.,, ,.e llllnein anil l.ave pioen tin nisclves to l.e m rfeet IioIi. h; nn-l we Uiso wish to nil! the iiil, lie's attention to tie Met tlnif the-'o Venn;: l.ioiei, nee y;il tn ton n nt t''e 1-C 1 1 : l.-'i'il'.nl ho'el. viiere tin'N are I oifectly is,liln t,i he IllteiA !eVe,l nt an' time hv- .myono who in.iy h:.o ,-. douht us to llu il- l'e;;ieel .1 l,il,; y .111,1 eh :ir; el er. It. . W'onnnul, Mr.r. H.-ili.er tlmn d'-s.-rt his coiin'.iy stenitor Sherionn v. oold il.e.er! th- pi o.si.lent. Ami itosh, how 1:- dr. ot,: it ! Tlio Unfair Sc;. (!-"io:ii a 1 1 1 1 1 1 . ! ! 1 1 1 1 , 0 .-u!ate,l- In le advU'e Cieil.l 'l'lie Adohe lied t ill ee linnee halls of .lolvill,, ii ie unfair. The loliovvlii.i n,e tlie niifilr clT'W: Kl'tle ,n I'ne. Sl;i,hl., It.'ihe. M r.iie and I Itllo I'm'. We ,pc..,l t nil union men not ti pitronlo tlp've homes or t hone n irl.i. I Sj.-ii. .!. I.11A I 'VII. I .I'- l'ON'''l"!T TIAT.f, (';ntr.s 'en- Itl.l't of I'lUilI. In,);, .edvert'f "I ha-e the only a hf ' ra et h"oh n iiianne eonnty." Eawl IHm Out.. Wo'U ray tho G Cents. S'r: S iml woo d you do If your employer em-ployer would illei.'ito "to fully e.julp" nod you v.iolo "to e,ul;i fnlh'." and the let-ten let-ten eiinie lelelt lo emir iloill, hhlO-penrlled to he rewiltlen" I1VA. If there hi n leither uu-.h-i f.,r IUvn tiaiinit the vorst roada In 111 In, i Ik It he-lonus he-lonus to 11,11 'l"w. Tltn Eighth Vcnder of tho Docndc. (I'l-otn the f'loit'er, ''o , Herald Mini r llotl him Installed .,, eoneert l-rand ilonhle vh'laiio.vlrl'loiio In the ,,:,l,v id the lletinln.- lael that hi Die ni.eit yelomi lnl eilineiit iv,, ever tni . I the pi, -a-Mile of II 1,'llln: to. The 1 1 1 t r 1 1 1 u e 1 1 1 U d,",i'nat", he the coin n i lied, ,ner ,,f pa ( . eulH at w'n lilnie ' on as holm: at the , ,. , , f of the elehl l.ie, 1 1 , Ve 1 , t , , , , a ,,f lh ,1,,'llde, Ae.iop P'llH UK "'.e,,,,,.-q hey,,,, era,..," Iind ,uiely fh 1 ' , . v ; ,, ,,, . ,,r Hi V oudelT.ll iv, onh r, A Trouiiso and a Tliiont. et'iolil 'he , in ,p an.',. 1 tr Me I'd i;en,,,.,H nr.,1 ltd; um,,-,, Wouiaii ih-n't tnal., thiiui'i Mfialiht with Mi a. II. .1. I lode, ,, t,,,,i ,, will he more than lli.-v l"-U for. 11. .1. !i(d.,:tet |