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Show 4 : 4. i 1 A Line o9 Type cr 1 wo I ' Uay cc e.ue vouldras. ' ' f -f Ey E. L. .T. Acrowocky. Tv.-ps Hawker, a::, t'::e fr.'-lpaors 1 id Ml :nn a !: j ta; i o '.; :.u w we ; AK S' :p U:'i wi-: o I i:e 1" .-; Azores, And the r.'iw.--Koyue ta-.v.-. J. K. G. 'Tho nrw Priwuiiean congress, accord-in-; to M r. Fran ki in KoosuveH, has " reverie re-verie I to type." An tii no, "we'll say. a lot of which was chu.'kcd into the heiOjUx on ekvLiuii day in 1 : I U Well, There's Quite a Crush. Pir: Am I the firt to mention that wit h the en refer of the- u.-iei a ted era ' crK!rmen who vnph to incarMidinc; their' surrouii'linu.s will luive to u-'i water eoi- ; orri? Or am I caught in the crowd, as uat-al? M. X. The federal board which is training men lo tako joha in printing trades ol't'ers , this: I "A former plum tier received a gunshot , wound in tht li-ht arm, and alyo Inst i his left eye in the Ar;;' i:no frc-st. J lis former trade was too hard for him. so he j.s preparing1 to bo a line, type oper- j ator." ! "I submitted that to Mr. Phrdlu." reports re-ports A. II. M., "and lie remarked that if the plumber had ha d his head shot off they would have trained him for .1 makeup. make-up. The printing trade has changed a lot since I first picked pi," -Almost Fiends in Human Form. (From the Rawlins. YVyo., Republican.) The beast or boasts who willfully and maliciously destroys puc'n 'property as was destroyed in Kawiins kvst week may easily claim the distinction of being numbered n mom? the very meanest in the world. All other Candida ten are while-winded seraphs by comparison. A fragment of I pitch from the foundations of Hades would make a whito mark on their Bonis. Although it would have to be whittled to an Infinit esimally small point ere it could be applied to Fuch a small individual. I.iko l, houls of 1 he ea rth these niierobes infest the habitation of men sneaking in and out and cursing evervthin!; they touch with their unclean hands, never creating, but always destroying". The unrest in Meyieo has been added to by the mayor of Morella. who has issued is-sued a proclamation warning all males that they must wear pants when apfloar-ins? apfloar-ins? in public. Gessler was nothing to this tyrant. Yo-ho-ho! Sir: Here's the real "Piratn's Dirge.' It came to me via T. P. O'Connor, and has some sort of a Stevensonian pedigree, though exactly what I have forgotten: Fifteen men on the dead man's chest! Yo-ho-ho! and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo-ho-ho! and a bottle of rum! To-ho-ho- Yo-ho-ho ! Yo-ho-ho- Yo-ho-ho! With a Yo-heave-ho and a bottle of rum Roll him up in his hammock sheet. Twelve-pound shot at Ids head and feet. Fathoms down must the dead man roll ; Sea has. his body and hell his sou!.. One more round while the grog will flow! One more gone where the rest will go. E. J. M- A lyondon physician who attributes human hu-man savagery to the iniojiitous habit of eating mea t. declares that "the vegetarian vegeta-rian is a good fighter, but he does not ttorture." How about his friends and acquaintances? ac-quaintances? Eriglit Sayings of the Better Halves. Sir: When I introduced friend wife to ' Mr. Mountain and Mr. Hills, she asked : ! "Are those the two big men from the 1 office vou have been staying downtown 1 with lately?" J. K. B. i "One thing I like ahout P. D. S.," remarked re-marked Old Bill Byrne, as he sharpened an introspective lead pencil, "when he says something clever he puts those little marks, " ", around it." Song. The sun that shines with splendor bright, 1 Kissing with ardent lips tho flowers, Impartial, fills the soul with light And warms these wintered hearts of ours; For well he knows That man and rose Have but a little time to live, And he a boundless love to give. The rain that falls like heavy tears, Weighting to earth the tender "bloom, Impaitial, floods our hearts with fears And drives gay dreams unto the tomb; Yea, dreams, like flowers. Forsake their bowers, The best and. brightest soonest fade; Life's now a glorv, now a shade. LAURA BLACKBURN. Bearing on the teapot-tempest raging around tho puzzle, "What is poetry?" a quotation from Trevelyan may help some. "One cannot be dogmatic about poetry," said he. "One's own judgment is the only judgment worth having, not because it is necessarily right, but because it alone is strongly felt. The value of the appreciation apprecia-tion of poetry lies not in mere correctness of opinltin, but in combined rightness' and depth of feeling. Therefore, the critic, even if he were infallible, would do well to leave the final judgment to the reader." Get This Straight. (From the Rutland, Vt., Herald.) The newspaper account does not contain con-tain the facts of the affair. There was no dispute on the morning of the assault and Mr. Herbert and myself had no words that morning. I called Mr. Herbert no names and at the time I was struck I was getting a drink of water and I did not even see Mr. Herbert when be struck me. I was unconscious for ten or fifteen minutes and knew nothing of what took place except that I was struck by someone some-one and I was afterwards told by Mr. Herbert himself that he was the one who struck me. JOHN H. BROWN. The police force of North Wales, Pa., Constable Stephen Constable, has resided because people kid him about his name. May we offer him the academy beat?. Wlint Everybody Understands. f From the Stockton, ( 'a I., Record. The public should understand that Be- I lew the "haulist" is not related to Ballew 1 the Constable. Below does moving but no sleuthing. Everybody understands that Jebson, .Inbson and J ibson a re no kin. Respectfully, Below, the nioviyt. On the other hand, T Tale Moore of Larned. Kan., capitalizes his monicker by insuring folks against hailstorms. Here is the formula which a number of readers who keep a boe have asked fnr: Take ten gal. water. 1! gal. strained honey, 2 or o oz. whi te Jama ica g i nger root, bruised, and 2 lemons cut in slices. I Mix and ho 11 fur half an hour, si; burning all tho while. Five ruin, after boiling begins, be-gins, add 2 ''.. hops. When partially cool put in cask to work' off. In about .1 weeks i fier working it wiii lie rinhl to hot tie. "O, boi!" as Jupiter exclaimed. Let's Have It Over With. Sir: F.vory time the St. Louis Browns get walloped and ' 1'itchor Callia blown up I wait the headline, "(.hillla cyt," etc., but I wait in vain. Q. A. R. Students of typographical style would take pleasure in the A minim en1, X. 1 )., !'ror ss, which divides "and" on the "u"' and "long" on the "u." To "take the air" has a new meaning in these whirring days. .Now, Ju no, for tho lovo uf J upo be l'casunablul |