Show I i Made Hens Lay Wooden Eggs I It waR a rainy day at Catfish Corners t Cor-ners Quite a fov of the Corners most m l g veracious citizens were in session at Grlmsols grocery Those meetings at Grlmsols grocer are never In executive t execu-tive session They are open and aboveboard A above-board Any one may sit by and heart hear-t them Frequently strangers who are passing through whether traveling for pleasure or going on across Into Jersey tarry a while at Grlmsola grocery If thero Is a session of Corners citizens on these strangera will necessarily pause and listen And often a look and a listen will Inspire some one oC them to throw in a little thing of his own on the subject In hand or perhaps on Home other subject On the particular rainy day at Catfish Cat-fish Corners the visiting stranger at Grimsols grocery was a tall man with a blue umbrella and a large Roman nose The expression of his face was amiable but his trousers were very short He looked like a man who would tell the truth IE it was necessary but the ahape of his nose was prima facie evidence that he had never been over prompt In saying No An ordinary listener to the proceedings of this session ses-sion at the frocery might have been rude enough to suggest affidavits as ap propriuto things to go with what he heard but this visiting stranger gave every outward evidence of entire confidence con-fidence In the credibility of the session seemed as firmly fixed in his belief in It as he was In his belief that the big pitcher at the far end of the counter had cider in It A lull having come In the proceedings proceed-ings the stranger spoke and said I sec you use pine sawdust for bed din down your horaos over here and there aint nothln better Squire Billduff who sat on the wood box said no there wasnt There aint no doubt neither continue con-tinue l the stranger that this hero cggforcln meal some one haw conjured up for makin hens lay 1 whether they want to or not Is built on the right ideer IdeeOld BIjenr Crump from the cracker barrel said there wasnt no kind o doubt of It cause he had tried It But let me warn you said the stranger Beware o nighsighted hired men This made everybody prick up his ears and look around a little queer but Sugartooth Bill Frltchey sitting on the nail keg cracked out two or three of his fingers and said Yes Yes exclaimed the stranger hunching himself up on the counter and glancing longingly down at the pitcher at the other end Well I should say It was yes Go ask Uncle David Breckendarter Go over to the vale o Pochuck if you want to know and aak Uncle David Breckendarter Nobody got up to go and the stranger resumed Uncle David Breckendarter said he keeps swads o chickens Swads of cm Not so long ago he read in the paper about this here eggforcing meal to make hens lay whether they wanted to or not and he sent and got a big lot of it Then about that time Job Jef fers whos been hired man for Uncle David for three years took it in his head that hed like to see more o the world than he thought he could sit a glimpse of In the sweet vale o Pochuclc and so Jic hired out to a man down at Sprout Hill But It hap pencU that another chap came along lookln for work Jest about then and Uncle David hired him He was a Wlllin hand and a worker but when It was too late Uncle David discovered that he had one bad fault He was almost al-most nighsighted enough to play the fiddle and be led by a dog Uncle David told the new man about foedln1 the chickens and bcddin1 the horses and he pitched in to work Tvant long before Uncle David got to wondcrin why he see the beddln so Kllin In the horses stalls when he went out to the barn mornlns and he says to the man Bcddin these bosses reglar Yes sure the man says Sawdust says Uncle David Every night says the man Its extraordinary singular where they kick It to says Uncle David and he hitched up and went over to the choppin after a load o wood I It went along and It went along and then Uncle David discovered somothln that made him stare and ponder He found the bosses was pullln their hay out o the mangers and tulstin It around In the slnglarest kind of a way on the floor Makin reglar nests out of It so it seemed and you might say squattln In em Pears to me like as If these ding I horses o mine must be gain crazy says Uncle David Klrkln their sawdust saw-dust bcddin out o sight and makin their own bcddin out o the hay they ought to be eatln he says What ails you anyhow he says to em and had hard work to make em come out and be hitched While Uncle David was hltchln of cm glvln em a dig and a kick every now and then and Im afeard cussin a little he was so allconsumin mad at em for the queer ways they had foil Into Aunt Sally come to the kitchen door David she hollers to him What Uncle David hollers back Ive been getherln the eggs Aunt Cally hollors II Well Undo David hollers back There aint no law agln It is there OJ No hollers Aunt Sails But come and ace em They sheer me1 So Uncle David grumblln and growlut went to the house to see what sort o capers the eggs was cuttin up There says Aunt Sally plntin to a dozen or two of eggs in a basin on the table Thorns em What has struck em sho says The eggs war as yallcr most as a sunflower and had a grain in cm like aboard a-board boardSally says Uncle David starin at aint em a minute Theyic wood they Pears to me so1 says Aunt Sally Then Uncle David took a hammer and after hitlln one o1 the eggs a couple cou-ple o hard whacks It split and sure enough the shell was wood and thick at that with not a thing where the yelk ought to been but a little pine knot And thats the way they all was Uncle Un-cle David looked al Aunt Sally and I Aunt Sally looked at Uncle David 1 Then tomcthln seemed to break In onto Uncle Davids mind and he jest i jumped and hollered It Great rocks abustln he hollers I Whores that hired man I Uncle David rushed out and met the hired man coinin from tho barn Here he says to him grabbin him by the arm Whats ailln o you Cant you see And then the hired man up and told him No he says I cant see partlclar good cause Im about as nighsighted as they make em he says And youve been beddln the horses down with that eggforcln meal instead In-stead o pine sawdust and stuflln the hens with pine sawdust instead o egg forcln meal Uncle David hollers jumpln and cussin And the hosses has cat that beddln till theyve took to makin nests out o their hay and the hens has been stuflln themselves with sawdust till theyre layln wooden ergs Then Uncle David discharged the nighsighted man on the spot and Ive dropped In here Jest a purpose to warn you ag In Grlmsol rose from the pile of calico he was lolling on and walked with a yawn to where the pitcher sat Squire Blllduri Olr BIJer and SugarUp Frltchey followed him The benevolent stranger looked and listened for any sound or sign that might Indicate that he was expected to follow loa None came He slipped from the counter and with some vigor exclaimed You are a cold ungrateful and doubtln generation over here in Penn sylvany Thats what you are Ill bet a farm by cats that when Gabriel comes and blows his horn hell have to whack you over the head with it before youll believe its him The stranger went out and Squire Blllduff remarking that if that Jersey man had lived In the days of Ananias and Saphira Ananias and Saphlra wouldnt have mot with that sudden death sat down and proceeded to tell in circumstantial detail how he had killed four door at one shot once and the gun was loaded so heavy it kicked him over and how In falling he threw up his hands just as two wild turkeys were flying over both of which he caught by the legs and how he never knew until he got up that he had fallen on three big rabbits and killed them |