| Show = Tj I an Ol i > II HIIiU I If tr i I t 1 i IJ I I tit rt t 1 I k I iII BERTIE AND THE COLONEL V V I By John Worne 9 u v viii i a 11Ii fLJ KVJ J1 mlt Ii ii r II k rJM i 1 = EM > > t = c > W 111 J t Tills Is too much said Eva with J1oshlnb eyes I have endured a good Mr Pilklnghame since nal l from you 1 ve hecame engaged but you have gone foe fat Sortie was overcome with humility 1 IBertle nnd repentance 1C you will tell me hat I hae l done Wl on he saId Jl1 vill do anything T EYiiu can do nothing but leave me Jl il I once fEva he pleaded have you thought shat dint would 1flC1flV What have 1 don to deserve It1 I fCan you deny she said turning upon him fiercely that you proposed ro End Stafford laHt night t II did not he said firmly She proposed to practically fOllT she replied In exasperation Well you accepted her then 1C you like to put It i in tllat vfoy He protested meekly I said Id be Ellfiiiled to accept her provided she could arrange the matlor with you You Jcave out the most Important part M ndnnd you think that you think Eihat Is nothing You imagine 1 am go llnp to stand I What was a fellov lo tb io he Eked raising his shoulders It was the rHm olTcr I had IHHlr was naturally k i little nervous 1 didnt like to be rude to R Indy She uttered an exclamation of Impatience Impa-tience t I dont think r had encouraged her attentions he said that wouldnt be right would it No I assure you 1 thought It so sudc1eno unexpected T told her so So we agreed that It wouldnt be right to do anything wilh out consulting you It r A u Well I give you my full permission Jto marry her V I am sorry he replied I was hoping I hop-Ing you would put difficulties in the way tell us to wait a year oror cut us off or something of that kind I trusted to you to put an end to this foolish entanglement She said nothing noth-ing Well he went on if you really mean It I suppose It cant be helped l will go Eva Eva have you consid ered what misery this means to us both bJlhThnnlt f Thank you she said frigidly I 1 liave no doubt that I can console myself V self I will accept the first proposal thU comes I You mean that V Certainly Do you think you are I the only one free to do f you like II You are very hard upon me However t How-ever goodby Goodby she said He had reached the door 1 think you have forgot an the ring she said laying It on the jable V V He came back and took It up He looked at her pathetically but she had I Seated herself and taken up a novel He went out closed the door and was gone Standing in the street he re Ssllected a moment wondering what to do ito fill up the time before lunch He i linr hailed a hansom and drove to one of his seventeen clubs In the mokeroom he found the Colonel writing writ-ing n letter to the Times The Colonel was tho most shocking bore ever Itnnwii Tie had proposed to Eva before be-fore her engagement to Bertie and even that he had done In an insufferably insuffer-ably dull way His favorite occupation occupa-tion was hearing early cuckoos and he knew all the arguments against free trade Jle had a good heart and meant wtllHertl I Bertie went up to him and said In a liubky voice ocr congratulate you sir J The Colonel looked up Ah good morning 5 Bertie took his hand and shook It solemnly I congratulate you fir he Repeated V Eh 7 hald the I Colonel Oh ah eRt1tat article on Gladstonian Fal lacies1 Yes 1 Hatter myself thai it 1ms Us merits oh Now would you Jjclleve itlthe pressed a forefinger between be-tween Berties lihsthcy werent goIng go-Ing to put It in fact is I had quite a Tllfliculty 1 1 didnt l mean that though I entirely en-tirely agree with what the article said revery word of it he added firmly for the Cololnel seemed about to speak JWhat 1 incunt asuii but you must lmowl J The Colonel shook his head Berlle looked around saw that nobody sas Jjvlthln hearing rind lowered his voice 4i hax just seen MiSS Tlowcn He 8l ° Pl > ecl The Colonel was still puz zlcil From what 1 1 gathered she had bit reading that ar Hole over your Signature V V 1 I illilni sign I 11 V 3 I mean she hurt recognized the style Ijat once one rant help doing that I I iphe Colonel nodded and boamed I V ground her cold toward me 1 tiled to I get L an explanation J sotm found that 1 1 Ivas In a ful lEe position 1 V BI less my bouli aald the Colonel be iomhii very ml in I the I 1 I fnce J Hertlea voice broke I felt bound jED release I her from her engagement he > said 11 congratulate you fir1 t Im Jm very i sorry for you gasped Vi I the Cohincl decently concealing Mi 11 ti8 1 raylllle I er J assure you r 5 lies my soul dear dear this Is iVV inost itmarkablo V if r No said I3ortic never mind me i 1 oiiijiu to have known from thy first that my cal was hopeless against a nan who could writ I like that t upon l t uponor tut sUllied of that article r I lets my soul 1 rciieated the Colo 1c l dnxcd I 1 must go home and con Jp Q2d I this this in I mOL Important He V lol e up the letter ho had been writing j Al jun much obligod 1 to you Indeed I II 11m 1 or cant uy how sorry I fed d l I you Ier lsl Iour oclock WUM thf time she said d would jo al home 91 Jlea my soul1 Four this afternoon 03 Del1s dear Cnod morning ij V Hc Imnlc > out with a light step mut V t i I V r ci hug to hhtiFflt Rcrtl settled down rVI roi I > l ftnv muHite with a paper It Jti l 11 i i l10t lon = befoie Lord Bobby Dal r r1lnhlIn i slf ° H d in for his rnslomary e Hlerbreukfll light reading He 10 grotej Bertie cheerily t Burlle looked r hltl with a cold Marc rose and V K K lowunl the door en tblnnlUl ° saId Lori1 Bobby with a Ie Kviini tao What happened now W1IItL V ti LVmt laivo I been doing Ibis time ile rD WerE alone In J the 1 room Bertie Vt01 1 Ill l1ed and faced him V06J Do iou ask that question of me cd1 Vt Ie Halt Indlgnnully And you aro II nan I need to think of as a friend not COUIIl trust at V rtlHJhh whistled low tOV3 You I understand said Bertie JJ J J 1 that It Is ouile impossible for our ac ciuainlance to continue Why on earth asked Lord Bobby Bob-by fIr leave that to your own conscience But J assure you on my honor my lear fellow J havnt the ghost Ofa notion no-tion what the deuce were talking about I aboutWhats Whats the good of protending like this said Burtle If youd give me a hint said Lord Bobby anything TO help me out I never was clever Well said Bertie bitterly I youll bc glad to hear that Im no longer engaged en-gaged to Miss Rowen Im most awfully sorry old man but what None of your ciocodllo leaif please It WitS only with the greatest difficulty that I extracted from her the fact that his Is Just hat you and she have been longing for for months paasi I By Joe said Lord Dobby Ills face lighting up She said she had been IOIlIing1 She owed me some explanation for the change in her feelings toward me I soon found that a visit from some jody was hoped for at 1 this afternoon and It didnt take long to find out who that jomcbody vas And this t is your gratitude to the man who saved your iiVMy My dear fellow J I cmt say how sorry T am for you but its the fortune of war you know Four oclock did you say Each man for himself you < nown and somebody docs the rest Lord Hobby did not say this csuUanl ly I but in a gentle tone by way of consolation con-solation You may be right said Bertie sud ly and 1 dare Pay it Isnt you fault Who would have expected her to fall In love with you ott certainly is bad luck old man said Lord Bobby I houldnt like ll If r were you Well Jm off thanks for telling me Be punctuu11 l Beitie called out as he left the room He then wandered round looking for the men who were acquainted with Eva He found no more so he drove off to another club and there also was the cause of much happiness in three bosoms The Hon Percy Fllpearce was at first considerably considera-bly l astonished but on reflection lookIng look-Ing glass reflection he quite understood under-stood how it came about Archie Paling Pa-ling though lie had not as a matter of fact contemplated matrimony for sometime some-time yet saw lying before him an op porlunlly of getting rid of his creditors which was not likely to occur again while Phil Bavtram had suspected something of the kind long ago They were all sympathetic and they all determined de-termined to be punctual Bcrtio then lunched and debated with himself the advisability of leaving town for a few day A ll1aIr past a It was raining and Eva decided to stay at home She was feeling feel-Ing dull and had been half inclined to find out from Enid Stafford what had really happened In the matter of that proposal of marriage Perhaps after all they didnt mean It seriously Somehow 11 seemed rather a small thing to be the cause of a separation forever She was dreaming halfre gretfully of the happy past when at live minutes to 1 1 John looked In Col Cush Is at the door miss Shall I say Not at home Oh bother Yes No wait a minute min-ute You havent opened the door yet t No miss She thought it well to be polite to the Colonel He was an old friend of Mr Rowen You may say ser < j at home and go and ask Ills Rowen to come quick And if anybody else does comel dont suppose anybody willrou can let them In at once Jl was always well to be fortified by numbers against the Colonel He entered en-tered radiant but uncertain as to the exact thing to be done However a little earnest pressure of the hand was enough tn begin with She didnt return re-turn it But how could she till after he had declared hImself He began on the subject vhlch formed the golden link between them So you admire Gladstonian Fallacies Falla-cies he asked modestly Awfully she murmured dont you youShe She resigned herself to fate and wondered won-dered how soon hely would arrive I came sooner than she expected John opened the door and Lord Hobby entered wlh a rush and a happy smile smie But the rush was cheeked and the smile froze lie shook handa with Eva with a look full of meaning and sympathy and nodded < l stiffly to the Colonel l The Colonel glared at him and gave Eva a glance which was to make her understand under-stand that she felt the Infliction I as much an she did Lord nobby sat t doin and having come prepared with only one subject of conversation said nothing noth-ing for some time The Colonel proceeded pro-ceeded to explain one or to points in Gladstonian Fallacies and wondered how long the young ass was likely to stay I was one of the Colonels failings fail-ings I that t ha never realised that things of great Interest bccoim out of date John soon admitted In quick succession succes-sion the Hon Prjrcy Fitzpenrce Mr Archie PflVi 1 lIft and Mr 1 I Philip I Bar tri In He was a little I I surprised to find that each murmured that he was ex pooled Each entered Mllh a gladsome step and a hopeful countenance slopped suddenly and looked around In disgust Each pressed her hand Ins In-s She wondered much The conversation that afternoon was interesting not so much by reason oft the of-t things said as by reason of the things thought und choked down In silence The Colonels few remarks on Uladstoninn Fallacies developed as they were apt to do Into a SOt speech while Ea murrnuied at Intervals I hei entire agreement Lord Bobby also concurred with imlhufcinsm and said ho was purprlstul that tile question could ever be disputed but that did not check the flow of oratory WliPii Mrs Kowen came In there was some exciting excit-ing maneuvering by each to drive the other foul over to her and get t ic words qutotly with Kvn It was as Interesting In-teresting < IH the ten minutes before the I I gun flies in a yacht race As r t oclock appioaehod each watched furtively CO hijfim or the depurtuie of the others No gentleman who Is a gentleman should make a call of more Hum ni hour Lord Bobby mcn toned thrilling things that were going on elsewhere and Archie Pawling asked why he wasnt there Lord Bobby remarked casually that he didnt care for such things I Mr Fltzpearce remembered ui engagement i that Mr Bnrtrnrn had but Mr Bartrnm thanked him kimll > and paid It had boon postponed The Colonel was engaged In annihilating only the third fallacy of Mr Gladstone and there were seven still to be dealt vlth three of which were most out ageously fallacious And Eva wondered won-dered more and more Each of them took a fourth cUP of < tea and sipped It cautiously with an eye on the cup of his neighbor Mrs iowen I started off on the sixteenth subject sub-ject of conversation and for the nlnety second time I Mr I I Flfpearce said pon erouhly I that it was awfully jolly Dach whenever ho got a chance looked Into KvVs l eyes with a look that meant unutterable world ol At about halfpast o Lord Bobby bc gnn atklny riddles such as If 1 a fish velglis ten pounds and a half Its own weigh what dour 11 weigh t or Whys Why-s a mouse when It spins but they lore it with grim fortitude Nobody tlcll Then came one of those ghostly llences which mulct one glance Instlnc holy at the clock At about halfpast r Mr Pawling with many Ha has and earnest assurances that he had lever laughed to much in his life told a story bun remembered in the middle that It might not do In 1 drawingroom and had to switch off Into something with a moral but no meaning Eva aughcd very much In fact she Celt hat on the slightest provocation she would serenm She wondered If her mrting from Bertie was known and this was the penalty for being diecn jaged POOl Bcrlie There was a halo round him already Her replies to the Colonel who was really enjoying himself him-self were getting further and furlher Vom the point and the l others noticed < lIt l-It and pitied her and raged I was be omiite quite obvious that j anybody ever went away at all Mhlch seemed doubtful the warrior would be the last to leave his post She had never real zcd so fully before what dull dogs I were the gentlemen of her acquaint I alice Poor Bertie How different the I afternoon would have been had he been I there Even Lord Bobby was without I his usual sprlghtliness and was gloom ly stirring his spoon round In the half cup of cold tea which Mould nevermore bc empty His repiles to the Colonel were becoming abrupt even snappy At about a quarter to 6 however he saw a chance The Colonel had rashly timed away for a moment to Impress upon Percy Filapearce whose chin was sinking deeper into his collar the absurdity ab-surdity of the argument that because he Irish church Im as much annoyed about thIs aid Lord Bobby softly as you are Eva looked surprised Did I look annoyed No of course but Il is exasperating that these fellows should choose this jartlcular time to come and do this you now l This particular time she asked pu 7et What astonishes me he said is the way they cant e that we dont want them He lowered his voice to a lender whisper Bertie has told me all about Il I las he said Era not at all pleased it i was the first time Berlle had been In such a hurry to announce the pud pudYes he has told me so i cant be helped now You must try to forgive him POOl fellow he was awfully cutup cut-up about it all I Is very good of you to take his purl like this I Oh I can afford to canL J One can bo gencroun to I the vanquished He paused and then want on earnestly After what you know I know Is i necessary for me to tell you that Well Miss BOrn lei me recapitulate recapitu-late briefly the last IMO points I made said the Colonel turning back to her She sighed and looked at the clock She had an uncomfortable feeling that something WUH happening which she didnt understand and even tho Colonels Colo-nels arguments were a relief after the mysterious solemnity of Lord Bobby Oh where was Bertie Bortiu could have saved her from all this With something lilte terror she saw Percy Filxpearcc move himself sideways onto on-to I chair near her A message of great import was In his eye so she devoted all her attention to the Colonel but heard Percys voice murmuring Confounded I nuisance these fellows staying on like this eh She thought she could answer that I Yes Isnt i she said heartily and he glowed with satisfaction TaMliij and Uiitriu i 1 < ll i i hl n t V maneuver and were racking their brains to devise IL method of leaving airs KoMcn without rudeness and crossing to Eva Each was sorely grieved to see her thuu bored by the others vhen he knew thai all the afternoon after-noon the poor girl had been yearning for one word from himself It occurred WOIt to Eva that they were all fishing for an invitation to dinner but the thing was so unlikely All the little customary hints such as Dear me how time does Jly or Oh dont go yet had long ago been used up and direct attacks seemed only to confirm the individual attacked in his intention of remaining And wherever she looked she met eyes fixed upon her with melting tenderness Jt was like some hideous nlghlmnre And the Colonel had only reached his seventh fallacy with Home llule still to come Oh Bertie Bertie Why did you go away It vns irotllnrr on toward CUO when John entered relln and announced Mr Bertie I IV I lId nghmamnc Her heart leaped and she rose and went toward him The Colonel and Lord Bobby and the lon Percy Fllxprjarce and Mr Pawling and Mr Bartram all showed considerable surprise Bertie looked around with a grave face Then he shook hands first with Eva then with Mrs TCowon and then with the heroic five He had a pleasant pleas-ant word for each Then he returned to Eva sat down on a sofa by her side and without saying anything looked solemnly at the Colonel l The astonishment astonish-ment on five faces changed to wrath I and disgust and that In turn gave May to pleasant though grim smiles With regret they realized that In n ladys draMincrroom physical violence was out of the questionEr question-Er ph Hip Colonel feeling his position acutely Bless my soul how late It ISI Dear dear How one forgets time Iam afraid 1 must be going now really Must you really said Mrs Rowon EI1 really must er Good afternoon after-noon i Good 7iight said Eva and the Colonel hurried out jammed his hat on his head and slashed at things with I his umbrella all the way home The same process was repealed four times But the four did not go straight I home There was a council of var out on the pavement Lets thrash V him said Pawling say I Yes said Bartram gripping his stickAnd I I And have It all made public and look bigger fools thin we are said FlUpearce I possible said Lord Bobby and in mournful sllcnce they dispersed I didnt hear you come said Eva when the room was cleared Didnt youV inld Bertie As a mailer mai-ler of fret he had arrived at 4 1 and satin sat-in the library while John reported how things wore going I eame because T had heard that you WCIC about to accept ac-cept the first proposal you got In case Im not too late he continued going I down gracefully on one knee J have the honor to lay at your feet the heart I and hand of a most humble repentant and devoted skive I trusting that the errors er-rors of the past may bo but the more convincing proof of the certainty of a blameless future Did you toll allallthose people to come here il told them our engagement was I over Well she said shuddering you must never do such a thing again I Darling T never will L 111 r i tj The wounds in four bosoms healed V II II 1 P j I Iii II with to Bertie time again but the Colonel never spoke rfVI tlllj IV And In after years when people heard I iII j I I that this was so they came to BeetleV f I t and said wistfully Tell us oh tell us tl I I I t how managed itNcw York 1111 you mnl ec IlNew YO Press 1 il I |
