| Show < I y MR DOOLEY ON ART ATRONA6E y7 i BY F P DUNNE i i r l i J Copyright 1C01 by Robert Howard Russell J i > I see in this paaper said Mr Dooley t + theysc a fellow klckln because be-cause an American inther aint got I anny chansl again foreign compytl Lion Sure said Mr Hcnnessy hos alsy dlsplazcd I nlver knew th business to I bo betther Wages Is high an tis a comfortable thrade barrln colic I I dont mane that kind Iv pain thers said Mr Dooley T dont mane th vans that paints yeer barn but lh wags that paints a pitcher Iv yeer barn an wants to sell It to ye 1r more thin th barn is worth This roan says no mat I I ther how Industhrees an American palnther Is no matlncr If he puts on his overalls any In th mornln an goes out h with a laddher an whales away all daylong day-long he can hardly arn a llvin while I i f th pauper artists Iv Europe is fairly rowlin in th lap l iv luxury Manny a laad that started In life with th1 in tintlon Iv makin th wurruld fget that whats his nameHogans frind ye know who I mane Mioliaol Angelo ever Jcd Is now glad to get a job decoralin w mountain scenery with th latest news I about th little liver pills I t le see innlssy whin a man gets Mold Iv a large hatful Iv neegolyable money wan Iv th first things he does Is to buy some art Up to th time whin ithtop blew oft th stoqk market he bought his art out iv th front window j Iv a news an stationery shop or had It put in be paperhanger He took th Sundah paapers that are a grreat l help if yere collectin l tan he had some pitchers Iv fruit I that looks natural nat-ural enough to ate dye mind a paintin I Iv a deer like th wan ho shotatln th Manotowlsh counthry in Eightyeight tn a livln likeness Iv a Lake Supecryor white fish on a silver plate That was < th pecryod mind ye whin th iron dogs howled on his lawn an people come miles fr to see a grotto made out 1 iv relics iv th Chicago fire I Meantime his daughter was illus I tratln susplnders an llliminatjn I china plates an becomin antlstlc an afther awhile whin th time come that he had to keep a man at th dine to sweep out th small bills she give him a good push tord betther things Besides his pardner down th sthreet had begun li l 1 I collectin pitchers an ivry time he Win i I abroad the mimnyfacthrers Iv pitcher frames bought new a UlYn1ob lies fr th Chappy All Easy So twas a soft mat = ther fr our rind Higbie to be persuaded I per-suaded that he ought to be a pathron Iv ant an hewint abroad detarmlned to buy a bunch chromos thatd make people come out Iv th gallery iv his pardnor down th street stofiln their laughter in their hands Now ycd think seeln that he made his money In this counthry hed path ronlze American art yed believe hed sind wurrud down to his agent fr to secure forty feet Iv Evansvllle be moonlight an be contint But he I I dont Ye dont catch Higbie changln f Iv anny iv his dividends domestic finished I fin-ished nrt He Jumps on a boat an goes at sthralght across to thcln I I thral deepof The first thing ho gets is I a porthralt Iv himself be wan iv J th I I grreat modhern mustheis Sargent be name This here Sargent Hogan tells me used to live hi this counthry an I faith if hed stayed here ye might cee him today on a stagin But he had I I a mind In his head an he tore off fr Europe th way a Bunter goes fr I I a rice swamp An afther a while Hig bie shows up an says he Im Hlgbic Iv th NonAdhesive Consolidated Glue I Company he says Can ye do me I can an will says Sargent Ill dOl j i ye good How much have ye got he j I j says Get some more an come aroundhe says An Higbie puts on his Prince Albert coat an laves It open so that ye can see his watch charm th crown iv 1 Poland with th KohSnoor in th top iv Itan me frlnd Sargent r does him brown an red He dont give him th pitcher Iv course If ye have yecr porthralt painted be a grreat palnther Its yeer porthralt but tis his pitcher an hcl keeps it till ye dont I look that way anny more So HIgbles porthralt Is hung up In a gallery an the doctors brings peopleto see it that arrc suffcrln frm nervous dyspepsia to cheer thim up Tit paapcrs say i tis fine Number IDS shows Sargent at his best There is th same marvelous marvel-ous tlckniclc that th great masther j I showed In his clllybrated takeoff on J Mrs Mascnheimer In last years gallery gal-lery Th skill an ease with which the palnther has made a monkey Iv hID victim are beyond praise Sargent has I torn th sordid heart out Iv th wretched wretch-ed crather an exposed it to th wurruld Th wicked ugly little yes th crooked I nose th huge graapin hands > tell th story iv this mlscreents character as completely its If they were wilttcn In I so mann wurruds while th artist with wondherful malice has painted I onto th face a smile Iv 1 slckenln silf complacency that is positively disgust I In No artist Iv our day has succeeded I ed so well In showln up th mareness Iv the people he has mugged We on I dcrsthand that th atrocious Higbie paId wan hundhred thouan dollars fr this comic valentine It Is worth th money to Ivry body but him B Higbie dont see lh paaper Hes over In Paris Th chimes arc rung bonefires are lighted in th sthreets an th Pannyma compny declares de-clares a dividend whin he enters th i I city They e such a demand Fr paint that th supply runs out an manny grreat Imprishonlst pitcher facthrics Is foorcod to use bluein Higbie ord hecs pain tins be th ton th rrunnin foot th I foot pound th carload He insthructs th pitcher facthrles to wur I mk night an day till his artistic sowl is I satisfied We follow his coorse In th paapers Th clllybratcd Gains borough that nlver wud be missed has been captured be Misther Higbie th American mlllyionahe Th price paid Is said to be wan hundherd thousan dollars Th pitcher riprislnts a lady In a large hat fondlln a cow It Is wan Iv th finest Gainsboroughs I painted be th Gainsborough Manny facthrln compny Iv Manchester At I thlas public sale It was sold fr thirty thir-ty dollars MIsther Higbie has also purchased th clllybrated pain thers style He Is now negotyatln with th wellknown dealer Moosoo Morthelmer fr th entire output iv th clllybrated I painther Mooney was mintloned How manny pitchers has he painted 1 Four hundhred an fortythree thou I san at illven oclock today says the dealer But four hundhred thousan l Iv thlm nrro In America Get th rrest Iv thim frme nays th conny soor What did ye say th gintle mans name was We ondersthand that Mlather Mooney has had to put I In two new fourdeck machines to e 1 j I meet th ordhers which Include thirty green an mauve haystacks forty blue barns or chlldher at play an no less thin ninety rlprlslntations iv rnornin at sea moonlight ayenln + flock Iv sheep or wha thc ye may call thim I An whin he comes home he hangs thim in his house so that his frlnds cant turn around without takin off a pasthral scene on their coats an he pastes th price on th frame an whin he dies he laves his pitcher to i some definceless art museem An there year I ye-ar re > So I tell ye Hinnissy if I was a I young an ambitious American pain ther Id go to Europe Whin Hannigan I was over there he met a young man that painted that fine head iv Murphy that looks so much like Casey that hangs in Schwartzmelstcrs back room Arre ye still at th art l says Hanni gan I am says th young man How does it go asks Hanigan Ive more thin I can do says th1 young man Since steel rails got so high Ive had to hire an assistant Ye see I didnt get on In Chicago Me Bridgcpoort In a Fog was th ony pitcher I sold ana an-a sausage mannyfacthrer bought that because his facthry was In dt I come over here an cos me pitchers will have a fair show I sign annywans name yo walit to thim Ycvo heerd Iv f Michael Angelo Thats me Yove herd IV I Gainsborough Thats me Yeve heerd iv Mill F t th boy that painted th pitcher give away with th colored sup plimlnt Iv th Sundah Howl Thats me Yls sir th role name iv near Ivry distinguished painter iv modhren times is Remsen K Smith Whin we go home If 1 ye see a good painther an glazier thatd like a job as assistant Rlm f brandt fr th1 American thrade rind him to me Fr he says th only I place an American artist can make a livln Is I here Charity fr artists he says begins abroad he says I Well said Mr Hennessy perhaps a bum European pitcher Is betther thin a good American pitcher Perhaps so said Mr Dooley I think It is so Annyhow nd matther how bad a painthcr he is annywarj that can get money out Ivan American Ameri-can mlllyionaire Is an artist an deserves de-serves iu Theres th raJa art 1 wl hIt I h-it was taught in th schools Id like to see an exhibition at th Museum with Check If American Gentleman I dhrawn frm life hung on th wall I |
