| Show I r MR DOOLEY ON TfiJB I PARKS EXPOSITiON r e irH this rrush Iv I people to lh Paris IEQ exposition keeps up said Mr Ilcnncs sy they wont he enough left here Ito I-to met a Prlsldlnt Theyll be enough left said Mr 1 4 Pooley There always Is No wan has gone frm Arrchey rrouil where th Voters arre made Ive look arround ctt Ivry mornln cxpectln to miss some fumilyar faces I though Dorgan lh t plumber wud go sure but he give It r up at th las moment an will spind his summer on lh dhralnagu canal t Th baseball seasonll keep l a good manny others back an a number Iv rlprlslntatlve citzcns who have stock or Jobs In th wire mills have decided that tis much betther to inthrust their paving to John W Gates thin to blow thlm In again th sthreels Iv Cairo But talcin It by an large twill be a hard w Inter fr th rrJch Manny Iv I thlm will have money enough fr to yet ye-t turn but theyll bo much sufferln among thlm I ixplct to have people dhroppln in here nex fall with subscription sub-scription hooks fr th survivors Iv tli I Paris exposition Th women down ho th rollln mlllfll be sewln ilannels fr th dlsthresscd inlllyonalres an whin th chlldor kick about th food yoll suy ITinlssy Just think Iv th poor wretches In th Lake Shore dhrlvc an thank Gawd fr what ye have Th1 JIayorll open soup kitchens where th unforchnll people can conic nn pet a hearty meal an watch th llckcr an whln Ih season grows harid ycll see pinched an hungry plutocrats thramp In1 th sthreota with signs rrcadlnt Give us a cold hoUlo or we perish Perhaps th pollsll charge thlm an bust In Lhelr stovepipe hats th Prlsl dlnlll 8lnd th arnny here a conspire cyll be discovered at th club to blowup blow-up tit poorhouse an voluntcersll bo called on frm thO nickel bedhouses to protect lh vested inthrcHls Is established estab-lished poverty Tulll be a chanst fr us to get even HlnnlBsy Im goln to organize th Return Vlsltln Nurses association composed entirely Iv victims Iv th parent plant Twill be worth lookln nt to sec th ladles frm th stock yards rrushln into some wretched home down In Poerary avenue grabbin th1 mlsthrcss iv th house be th shoul dhers an makin her chang her unhealthy un-healthy silk duress Tr a pink wrapper shovelln in a little ashes to sprinkle on th lure brcaklul th furniture an rollln th baby in th coal box What th rrlch needs Is inlllllgint attlntlon Dont ate that oatmeal Fry a nice I steak with onions givo piece iv iroun th baby th bone to pny with an1 sind Lucille ErneHllne acrost th railroad thrark fr a nickels worth Iv beer Thin yeH be happy me good woman Oh twlll be gran J wont give anything any-thing to people that come to th dare More harm Is I done be indiscriminate charily than anny wan knows Illnnls sy Half th bankers thatll come to yeor kitchen nex whiter cud find plenty Iv wurruk to do If they really wanted It Dlirlnk nn idleness l Is tir I curse Iv I th class If they come to me 1 Ill sind thlm to th Paris Survivors Mechanical Relief association an they can go down an set on a cake iv Ice an wait t1I1 lh man In charge finds l thlm a job managin a diamond mine Mr Ilennessy dismissed Mr Doolcyu fancy sketch with a grin and remarked re-marked These here expositions is a gran1 thing fr1 th progress Jv th wurruld Ye tread that In th1 paapero said Mr Dooley an it Isnt so Put it down frm me Ptlnnlssy that all expositions ex-positions is a blind fr th hoolchy koolchy dance Theyll he some grreal exhibits at th Paris fair Th mar that has a machine thatll turrn out three hundhred thousan toothpicks tooth-picks ivry mlnyltll hind over his In threstin device theyll be mountains Iv Infant food an canned prunes an i pickle castors nn pants an boots an shoes nn palntlns Theyll be all th ondheis Iv 1 modern sciertc JYe can I ace how shirts arre mate Tin what gives life to th sody fountain Th man that makes th glue that hinds Ml be wearln more medals thin an officer Iv th KiiKlteh arrmy or a cinchry bicycle bi-cycle rider an years after whin ye nee a box Iv 1 soap ycll think Iv lh1 man ufaclhrer standlu up before a liun dhrcd thousan frlnzlod Frrlnchmen In lh BOSH du Boloney while th Prlsl dint iv th Frrlnch places a goold wreath on his fair brow an says In th name Iv lh arrls an science un dher th motto iv I our people Llberlln ity insanity an frugality I crown ye th champion soapmaker Iv th wur i i Sid Cheers Be ycer magnlflclnt Invlnlion we have dhrawn closer th lien between Paris nut Goshen Indy anny franllc applause which I hope will nlvcr be washed away I wish ye much success as ye climb th lather iv i fame Th Invlntor ia thin dhrawn arroun th1 shtreets Iv Paris in a charlot pulled be eight while horses amid cries Is I Vcev Higgins Abuse Casllle et cethra frm th populace An manny a heart beats proud In Goshen that nlghL Thats th way ye think Iv It but It happens dlffrent Ilinniasy Th soap king 1 th prune king an the porous plaster king frm here wont stir up anny tumult In Paris Pa-ris this year Th chances arre th Prlsldlnt wont know theyre there nil no wan Ml speak to him but a cab dhriver an hell say Tc fare frm th Chang Ell Easy to th Roo do Roo I is eighteen thousan francs but Ill take ye there fr what ye have In ycer pockets Th inlllyonalre that goes over thereto there-to see th piled up richeR Iv 1 th Avurruld In sausagcmakln Ml 1 take a look ar I round him an hell say to th first po llsman he meets Gossoon this Is a line show an I know yon palace Is full to th scams with chlnyvare an washtubs wash-tubs hut wud ye he so kind mong bray as to pint out with yeer club lh particMar house where lh houris frm lh Sultans harem dances so well without th aid Iv lh human feet I know how It was whin we had th fair here I had th best intlntlons in th wurruld to find out what I ought to have lamed frm me frlnd Armour how with th aid iv i gawdglvcn machinery machin-ery ye can make a bedstead a pianola a dozen whiskbroom a barrel Iv 1 sour mash wisky a suit Iv clothes a lamp chlmbly a wig a can Iv gunpowder a bahrl Iv nails prlsidlntlal platform an a burrdcagc out Iv 1 th remains Iv th cowI was determined to probe Into lh won hCls Iv science an 1 started fair fr machinery hall Where did bring up says ye In th rront seat Iv a playhouse with me eye glued on a lady Iv 1 th Sultans coort near Brooklyn bridge tliryln to twlsht out iv hersilf Mo Hinnlsay theyll be manny things larncd be Americans that goes to Paris but they wont IMJ about th convarslon iv boots into food or vlcey versa as Hogan says An thats rrlght If I wlnt over there tin little time Id be splndln thryln to discover how lh wondhcrs Iv 1 mechanical janlus arc projoocd that makes livin so much more healthy an oncomfortablcf But whin I jot to Paris Id hire me a hack or a dhrny painted rrcd an Id put me feet out th Rides an1 Id say to th dhriver RlyolullonlBl pint ycer horses head lords th homo Iv th skirt dance hit him smartly an go to sleep I will see th snowplough show nn th dentlbthry wurruk in th paapurs FJr lh pilsint Ill devote me attlntion to makln a noise in th nthrccts an sludyln human nature Vd l be 1 a lively oV buck over there said Mi Hennossy admiringly Tis a good thing ye cant go 1 nIL It I so said Mr Dooley Tin glad I I have no nilllyonalrc rilltivos to be I deplndcnt on me Cr support vhln th shows over Copyright 1900 by R I II Russell |
