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Show Children Rearing Misunderstanding Declared Inevitable Misunderstandings between the generations about child rearing rear-ing are inevitable, writes Marthe Gross in Parents' Magazine (August), but tact and good will can usually overcome them. Ideally, young parents should be so confident of their own abilities abili-ties that they can take advice without being ruffled. When a grandfather says that a fifteen-month-old should stop headbanging (at once!), or grandmother wants all diapers discarded (at once!), parents should be able to smile, nod and change the subject. But how many can and do? The cheering news is that usually after the first tricky months of infancy are past, grandparents tend to worry less and enjoy the new generation more, Mrs. Gross points out. A toddler who beams at grandmother grand-mother or puts his arms around grandfather's neck and plants a kiss on his cheek makes even the soberest spirit melt. The ephemeral "right" way to bring up children fades with the awareness aware-ness that there is a potential for love between the first and third generations that can enrich the lives of the whole family. Grandparents tend to be indulgent in-dulgent not to flout parental authority but usually in the spirit of giving the youngsters a special treat. Mature parents realize this, take the long view, and accept it. Grandparents, too, occasionally occasional-ly like to play hookey from rules and regulations. Their attitude at-titude toward children is, "We can't do this too often because life is real and earnest and you'll soon have to get down to brass tacks. But once in a while, while you're still young, let's do it just for fun." These magic times, when rules are put aside for the moment and a child does something with a grandparent just for fun, lift the sporits of both of them and assure all the family that love is truly passed on from generation genera-tion to generation. |
