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Show THE SALT LAKE TIMES, FMDAY. SEfTEMHKR 19. 1890 " - - ' ' l M0SHEE, ILOOdI MPopalar Route PTO ALLOTS EAST Only one change of cars Utah to Kan-sas City or St. Louis. Elegant Pullman Buffet Sleeping Can Free lieclluinir Cha!r Cars. Be sure your ticket roads via the Missouri Pacific Railway II. C. Townsend, G. P-- & T. A., St, Imti, S. V. Ferruh, V. F. & I'. A., l oom SOS. Progreat Bldg Salt Laki City, Utah, BUSINESS DIRECTORY. ADVERTISERS OF fMSTCLASS CITY. The Times commends to its patrons the Business and Pro fessional men whose cards ap-pear below. AL'C'0(JN1'A :. ; rrll rSATrTAKB G IiNF 'ML COMM IS:'. I ,:km a'jerey co , trades urn's bor,k t'i Ibtid. ouen'eda .1 ' nnd at na.onable rate; P.irtnen-h1- ) wee unts adjusted, rents ai d .I '.tMO'k'cted. rem. ?ji's exchanged. Onie ho ire, 8 a. in. to p. in., 1 il Main stieot. Sale u .kn CUy. Utah. AKCHlTKCrS FEED A. HALE, (IiATB OF DENVER.) OF COMMERCIAL BLOCK, AnCHITF.f'T DO, Wasatch building. 7.lULMER, M AND 60 WASATCH AnrilTTKrT: J. HANSEN, (I.AT1! Of CHICAGO. RCHITKOT AND SUPERINTENDENT, has removed his olllces to 7, East Socond South, room 28. 0. H. LaBELLE, n WEST SECOND SOUTH ARCHITECT, Lake City. I am prepared to furnish all manner of plans In the most Im-proved style of architecture, such as churches, opera houses, hotels, banking houses, private residences and business blocks of any descrip-tion. Best of references given as to my stand-ins- . ATTORNEYS, g. A. MEERITT, CITY ATTORNEY, building. ROOMS 510 611, 'thephcetobaloos, T. CSV , Wines, Liquors and Cigars. 4twi A. H. OOBsf rpHE ONLY LADIES' TVTTr city. Ladies desirln W ! and fashions will do well to n i1""' 8 flSEast Second South, rooms MONEY To'lOA I. WATTEES, BROKER, 31 E FIRST SOUTH Deseret 8TKE City. Makes Watch.? n"1' S I Jewelry; rents colleoCf rfe01 bousht and suld: business 0.. I He, tabllshed 1888. AU V01 y low rates. WMjw , MUSIC PROFESSOR public that in fuTure; S?"' T for him at Carter's lss about store, he piano or lesant ''i1 e't Hon of pianos or organ", to rect. at 8SH E. Brlgham st or Cob u5 grove's music store. tf S: ' MAGNUS OLSON, TEACHER Olsons LITAR band. Residence, 86 M Sf it"? Leave orders at any of the S.' ' " Sharp A Younger's Palwe drMo' OPTICIANS. GEEZ ftlEEGiiT P1RACTICAL AND SCIENTII'In t ons. spectacles fitted South Temple street, Salt Lake city. ' PLUMKING A. J. B0UEDETTE 4 00, PLUMBERS, STEAM AND wil?1 FtVrr, street, Salt Lake City. 1'elephoL JAMES FENWI0X, Fitter, Sanitary Enlnee! 6eSA South street. Salt Lake City, utati School Books . --AT-D. M' McAllister & Go's. 72 IMTaln St. And Everything Klso in the line of Books, Stationery, Toys, Dolls, Etc Booh of Mormon 75 cts Lombard Invsstmsnt Go. or Kansas City, Mo., and Boston, Miss,' Branch office for Utah and southern Haho, Corner First South and Main Strest, Salt Lake City, Utah. W. II. DALE, Manager. Makes Loam on Farm and City Property at Easy Hates. iLE,10D& GO, The (iljEicfclie Haffers In Salt Lake Ycumaiis Celebrated Hats. SALT LAKE CITY Sights and Scenes in and Around the Inter-Mounta- in Metropolis, t PLACES -- OF MEREST TO VISITORS Useful Information for the Home-seeke- r, the Investor and the Visitor. A GUIDE TO THE TOUBIST. Salt Laki's Location, Mtrac-'tion- s an1. Climate- - Garfield Beach and Other Resorts. The city of Salt Lake has a fame whlc reaches around the world. The population Is about 55,000, and is Increasing at a rapid rate. It Is situated at the base of th Wasatch mountains In a lovely valley, rich la agricu-ltural resources and Is eighteen miles distant tram Great Salt Lake. Its elevation above sea level Is 4,350 feet. There are many points of Interest to visitors In tho city u4 near It Here are some of thern : The Temple. This magnificent cream-whit- e granite strue-tur- e was begun April 0, 1853, It la 100x1300 feet, the walls are 100 feet high, and the towers.whcn completed, will be 200 feet In height. Over 13,500,000 have been expended on the Temple, and it Is now nearlug completion. In the same square with the temple Is the spa-cious building called Tha Tabernacle, Here are held the services of the Mormon chnroh, and these are attended every Sunday by Immense congregations of people, both Mormon and Gentile, The structure is oval 10 shape, seventy-liv- e feet high and BMxIfiO feet In length and breadth. It has a seating capa-city of ia.000 people, and here may be heard what Is claimed to be the finest organ In the world. Patti once sang In the tabernacle, and demonstrated that Its acoustic powers are very line. The Oardo House, or Amelia Palace, was built by BrlBhara Young whe willed that It should be the residence of his favorite wife, Amelia Folsom Younir. but since his death It has been used as the ofllclal residence of dignitaries of the church. Ilrlgbam Young's Resldemceii known as the e and the Lion House are structures, curious from as-sociations. These are situated In what was once Drigham Young's domain, all of which has passed Into other hands, save the large lot In which Is Brlgham Young's Grave. This can be reached bypassing through the Eagle Gate, an irchway In the old mud wall which at one time encompassed Brtgham's pri-vate property. One or two of the prophet's wives repose beside his last resting place. A slab of granite covers the gravo and there Is pace left near by for the graves of his other wives. - Ueseret Museum This institution Is situated on South Tempn street, directly opposite Temple square. It contains a large number of Interesting curios-ities, chiefly pertaining to the early history of Utah. It Is well worth a visit, . Prospect Hill with Its lookout towor commands a splendid 'view of the city and Its surroundings. The. Tithing Building possesses Interest as being tho general depot ?,,r t.:LYAH collected bv the Murmoa ohurch from M. E. McENANY, ATTOENEY-AT-LA- floor. PROGRESS CUMMIHG & 0EIT0HL0W, ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW- , ROOMS 4 AND 6, 128 Main street. 0. W. POWERS, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW- , OPPOSITE Second South street. WILLIAM CONDON. LAWYER. ROOMS FIRST FLOOR First South, between Main and Commercial streets. BOOKS AND STATIONERY. SAMUEL 6. BEAD. IlOOKS AND STATIONERY. LONDON Depot, opposite tho Denver & Rio Grande railway depot, Salt Lake City. Orders for every variety of American and European periodicals, magazines, etc., promptly at-tended to. " BOOT AND SHOE MAKING. THE PABAG0N IS THE BEST AND CHEAPEST PLACE for Shoe Repairing. 11 west South Temple street. SALT LAKE VALLEY Loan and Trust Company, Salt Lake City, Utah. CAPITAL . . . $300,000. Money to loan on real estate and other good securities, on short and long time. dikectohs: O. J. BaUthury, Pret, F. H. Dyer, ViccPret! W. S. McCornuik, George it. Downey, 8. Bamberger, John A. Groetbeck, hmanucl Kahn, M. R. Evans, ti. M. Cumming, Secretary. E. B. f ield), Jr. . . Ireaturer. Real Estate Mortgages, guiranteed by the company, for sale. Office Daft building, No. 108 Mainst J.W. Farrell & Co P. J. MOB AN, STEAM HEATING ENGINEER, as) MAI Salt Lake City. PLATING. NOVELTY MANUFAOTUEIliaoo" rjOLD, SILVER AND NICKEL PLATO the Dynamo Process. All repairing done with neatness tail SI Kwddsun Buos, 1 E3d South. PBYsiCIANS; DB. D. A. SYKeI HOMCEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN AND SR resldonce Yti So. Sid KB. G. J. FIELD. P7-5- 8 WASATCH BUILDING, LATE OF SI iJ Louis DB. J. S. BLAOOUEN & CO,, HERNIA SPECIALISTS; RUPTURE PER cured without surgical open tlon. 68 il. i'irst South St., opp. the Tlieater. DBS. FBEEMAN &BUEB0WS, Its disciples. Liberty Park, in the southeastern portion of the otty Is a beautiful resort and can be reached by rapid transit trains. The Chamber of Cummeroa, on Second South street, is visited by those who take an Interest In the commercial standing of the city. There are several large oases con-taining specimens of Utah's mineralogy which attract much attention. Salt Lake Theater being selected. This latter place ef amuse-men- t was built by llrigham Young over thirty yearn ago. It Is a large and beautiful temple and Is comfortably arranged. Assembly Hall, near the temple, Is used In winter for worship by tho Mormons, the tabernacle being too large to admit of proper heating. Assembly nail Is lauxf feet, and costftl5O.O00. The celling Is with ohurch pictures, among thorn the Ansel Moroni disclosing the hiding place f the golden plates to Joseph Smith. The Natatorlum is a large circular bathing house, (he center of which, under a glass roof; Is a swimming pool The water is brought In pipes from Beok's Hot Springs. There are also a lam number of bath rooms. Electrio Street Cars connect, with every point of Interest In the city. The system Is new and the appointments good. Rapid transit Is assured. Camp Douglas, ' three miles east of the city and over 400 feet above It. is beautifully laid out In the midst of lawns and orchards, and the barracks and houaes of the ofllcers are built of stone. The post commands a wide view of the olty and beyond where Oreat Salt Lake lies like molten Bllver at the foot of the western mountains. Beck's Hot Springs are in the northern part of the city about three miles from the business center. They issue from the base of the mountains, and are regarded as a very valuable aid in cases of rheumatism, dyspepsia and scrofula. The waters are used both In-ternally and externally, and there Is an excellent bath house and necessary appointments for the comfort of patients. The Warm Sulphur Springs are betweenfce Hot Springs and the city, about one mile from the pustottice. There is a good hotel and oomfortable bath house In connec-tion with the springs, and they oan be reached by street railway. The Mountains are unsurpassed in magnificent canyons, and at least a dov.eil.of the grandest are within reach of the olty. These Invite the tourist to spend days, weeks or mouths among their wild recesses to fish, to hunt, o scale the pe:iks and ridges, and to gather wild flowers by the sides of mossy springs, beneath the shade of umbrageous ptnea. lllg Cottonwood canyon should be seen bv every tourist. Here are lake Mary nnd Martha from whloh flows the turbulent Cottonwood river; and at the base of the mountains are lakes Blanche, Florence and Lillian. Besides these are Mills creek, Parley's, Emigration, and Cltv Creek 1 anyone, all extremely picturesque and delightfully romantic. Pleasant Drives abound In scores around the outskirts of the city; along the quiet country roads, and through the lanes dividing meadows of rich green alfalfa and ttelds of grain; while the malestio mountains are never entirely lost slKht of. From under the branches of trees and above hedges of the wild dog-ros-glimpses are caught of snow.covered peaks A Fort Douglas, and then a mile further on to the mouth of Emigration canyon Is most delightful. It was here ttuit the Hight of the Mormon pioneers ws llrst made glad by the vast expanse of Salt Lake valley sud-denly bursting upon them, on the iMth of July, 1M7. The Great Salt Lake. "I think." says Ernest Ingersoll, "few per- sons realise how wonderfully, strangelv beautiful this tal and seals," and speakm- - of its sunsets Phil Robinson has said: "Wnere have I not seen sunsets, by laud and sea In Asia. Africa, Europe and America, and where can I say I have ever seen more wonderoua coloring, more electrify ing effects than in t!w sunset on the Great Salt Lake of Utah." Salt Lake is as beautiful a sheet of water as can be found anywhere. The waves are a bright blue or green, and as they dance on Its surface it would be hard to tell which color prevails It is dotted with beautiful Islands, and it affords tie finest salt water bathing in the world. Garfleld Beach Is within easy distance of the city, being bnt eighteen miles of a ride by train. Here le found every luxury and comfort for a din in the mysterious sea, and also all the things for the comfort of the Inner man The cafe affords enjoyable meals at reasonable prices, and row boats are to be had for a oulet 'pull" on the waters wWchpossees a romlntlo Interest for every visitor. The management of the accommodations at Gartleld Beach is under the direction of the Union Pacific Rail-way company, as is that at Lake Park nnder the supervision of the Rio Grande West- ern. This mart is north of the city, about half way between Bait Late and Cgden, and ia much frequented by visitors, it is similar la nractlTeMaa to Oarneld. and is well wwrthr a Fillers, ' Gas & Steam Mm Dealers in all Kinds of Lift and Force Pumps Orders talcenfor Drive and Dug Wells Cesspools built and Connections made 1X8 Main Strert, Qpo. Auerbach Brot. Telephone HOT KELLY fiTCOMPANY Printers, Blank-Boo- k Makers and Stationers. No. 40 W. Second South St. Salt Lake, - Utati Our facilities for doing First-Clas- s Job Print-ing nre of the newest and best. Books Ruled. Printed and Bound to Order. Samples of Kailroad, Mining, Hank and Mer- - cantile Work always on hand. Complete line of Office Supplies, embracing the most approved Labor-Savlu- and Economical Inventions. Prices Low. Call on Ua. GEO. HUSLER. H. WALLACE, Manager, Utah Cracker factory,. Manufacturers of the Celebrated SILVER BHij" razees:-- v 27 E. THIRD SOUTH ST. Salt Lake City, Utah. E. Mehesy, PracticalFurrier. JTte Largest and Most Complete Stock of Fine Furs, in SEAL, BEAVER, OTTER, USE, Etc., Jit this Inter-Mountai- n Region. Mr. Mehesy has just returned from an ex- tended trip t hrough the Northwest, where he purchased a large quantity of raw furs, which will be worked to order for the coming season ESRemember tho place, 250 Main St. SalLakeCltj. SOL. BEESEr Contractor builder Store and Office Fitting A SPECIALTY. Will Furnish Estimates n fks seven story stone or brick to putting in a shelf C Kn,f?,ren ,or the Prsent at the new Holmes building corner 01 Second South and State road, which 1 am now erecting. -- Postofflce Mam street idus:l Salt Lake Cltr. Ctah CIVIL ENGINEERING. hXvILAND & DENBY, CIVIL ENGINEERS AND SURVEYORS. laid out and platted. Rooms 614 and 015 Progress building; P. O. box K7, Salt Lake City, Utah. CONTRACTORS AND BUILDERS. CONTRACTOR - BUILDING MOVER, and general engineer, brick, adobe or wooden houBes raised, moved or repaired. Ail work guaranteed against cracking or other damages. The onlv practi- cal building mover west of Chicago. Office and shops 749 to 751 State road. A. PAGEEEERG & 00. pONTRACTORS AND BUILDERS ALL K.J kinds of HOU36 and Jobbing work done. Estimates given on contract work. All work guarranteed. Corner 7 W. und Rio Grande ave J. 0. D0WLI1TG, CONTRACTOR & BUILDER, All work neatly executed ; fitting up stores and counter making a specialty. 223 W. First South street. DENTISTRY, DR. BISOHOfT" DENTIST, 1B8 SOUTH MAIN STREET and fl. Teeth extracted without pain. Teeth extracted plain 25 cents, with cocaine 50 cents. Durablo fillings 60, 75 cents and upward. Best set of teeth J10. All work guaranteed. Open from 8 a. m. to 0 p. m : Sundays from 8 a. m. to 1 p, m. Cut this out. ENGRAVING J. . WHITECAR, DESIGNER AND building. ENGRAVER ON WOOD ' " FCRNITUHE. SAXDBEEG EUHIJITUHE CO.. MANUFACTURERS AND DEALERS IN Screen doors and Sch(xl Desks Windows. Jobbing and pairing promptly attended to. 10s .auuiiuvv. South Temple street. tatocERitx ' E0GERS & COMPANY, THIoufkAs GK0CEKS- - EAST FIRST " " TEED G. LYNGBERG, CTAPLE AND FANCY GROCERIES p visions, Fruit. Vegetables, Poultry piS" 0. M. HANSEN, T)EALER IN CHOICE FANCY GROCERtpcs ELI L. PRICE, GRsSTES AND PRVISIONS. 254 MAIN IXSI RANCE. LOUIS HYAMS & 00. pRE LoIfFNEewANYDorkA. CMCIlDENT. MUTUAI and 515. Jww.":UOR5AXD CIGARS. P. T. NYSTR0M. CZXlArJ&- - FAMILIES cialstreetsT uti and Commer- - THE TWO PHILLIPS PLACE 0, KTED THE COTTAGE, pHOICE WINES. CIGARS AND LIOTfOR3. EYE, EAR, NOSE, THROAT. SPECTV accurately fitted. Rooms 1J and li h building. REAL ESTATE AND LOANS. THE SYNDICATE INVESTMENT 00 REAL ESTATE, ROOM 1, OVER BANK OF Lake. Investments for non resides a specialty. MONEY WANTED. TF YOU DESIRE A GOOD LOAN PLACED I on real estate, call on S. F. Spencer, ' Main street. ALPRED DUNSHEE, REAL ESTATE, LOANS, INVESTMENT! Main street rear Jones Bank, Sail Lake City Utah. J. G. JACOBS & CO. I)EAL ESTATE DEALERS, 147 PROGRESS have for sale residence propertf In all parts of the city; also choice biigaim H business and farm property. BURTON, GROESBEOI&OO,, REAL ESTATE, NO. 399 MAIN STREET Lake City, Utah. Notary ia offl Telephone 4M. RESTAURANTS. TIV0LI RESTAURANT. REOPENED. W. ' GEBHARDT W all hours. 845 Main street, posite Walker House. ; GLOBE CAFE, Q F. BALL & Co. MEAL3 AT ALL H0CB3 O. No. 24 Main street, Salt Lake City. STEN OG RAPHY. ""iTErMTGUERIN, STENOGRAPHER; ALL KINBS OFFICIAL and Typewriting VlZ Remington Typewriter and supplies; IW ullding. W. A. TAYLOR, TIfERCHANT TAILOR. NEW SPlg styles just arrived. 43 and 4a South street, Salt Lake City. TRUNKS. HULBERT BROS,, OF FINE Valises. Straus, etc., sample trua" cases to order; repairing a specialty; First South street. "WATCUM.VER FINE AMERICAN WATCHES, CLOl watch repairing "Sjeai prices reasonable; 75 west First South Salt Lake City. Utah. - MISCELLANEOUS. CEAILES HCMPB1E7. A?SYEIt AND CHEMIST J0 Salt Lake C:iy, uun. J. JEPIEFSON, SCULPTOR AND.BV& Office, 11 east North Tem?ie WM. MORRIS. EMYBEYSa C ALT LAKE STEAM CARPET fLEAST OWorks, corner Mb. West and 11- -' .t telephone 472. F.rst class work jji Orders taken at J. O'Conner's drag Main street. P. O. box 540. - - MRS. M. E. ROBERTS. T?ROM LONDON, ENGLAND. MID Address 5T4. West Fourth bouia. TAKE W. teee IMinmuKEEl CHICAGO MILWAUKEE & St. PAUL For All Points East it is the only line running solid Vestibule, Electric Lighted, Steam Heated trains between Chicago, Milwaukee and Council Bluffs, Oma-ha, St. Joseph, Kansas City and Soix Citv All trains composed of Pullman magnificent sleeping cars and The Finest Dining Cars in the World. For further information apply to the nearest ticket office, or ALEX. MITCHELL, Commercial Agent 8X) W. 2nd South street, Sa.t Lake C.ty. E T. Burton, Jr , J. A, Groesbeck, W. B. Aairew Burton, Groesbeok & Go., BUYERS AND SELLERS Oi1 ' CHOICE Business, Residence and Acreage Property. Sole Agents for South Lawn Addition. Office 269 S. Main St Telephone 484 AGrEITCrS' WARWICK HIGH GRADE SAFETY BZCTCLB. 116.00, 13S.OO, TIUCVCLES' and LOC1PKDKS. in Pun'nasins from me yot have a stock to select from and do not have ij Ire,iJlt?!;k newest Price, on Goods, Guns, Cutlery, etc. SH0T-GUX- S AT COST. Bicycle and Gun Kepairin?. Agent CALIGRAPU WRITING MACHINE Carbons, Ribbons and Paper. K.. EVANS 22 W. 2d South street. Salt Lake City 25 1 Main St. Salt Lake Cihu Files. Piles, piles. Piles cured without pain or detention from business. No charge until cure is effected.. Consultation and examina-tion free. Refer to over one hundred who have been cured by me in Salt Lake city within the last two years Fistula, fissure, stricture, ulceration nnd all other diseases of the rectum treated successfully. Dr. Chakles Thompson, h Building. Have placed in line large assortment of fall neckwear. Bast-Tekk- y Mercantile Co. liutters and Furnishers. lii Main street. i . '"" ' A BUJEGRASS IDYL. Concerning Two Kentncky Gentlemen Who Dined lit "Del's." A blucgrass Idyl hag been circulating through the Southern society for several dayH. It is a tnie of two Kentuckians one a major, the other a colonel who, after a night of luck at poker, determined to gratify an oft expressed deBire to visit New York. They came, and after two days of sightseeing the colonel suggested to the mujor that a trip to New York would not be complete without a dinner at Dclmonico's. Tho major agreed. It was deemed that it would hardly be considerate to take Mr. ' Delmonico una-wares, and in order to prepare him for so nnusunl an event as a swell dinner for two the Kentucky gentlemen went to tho res-taurant early in tho day, called for the head waiter and told him what they want-ed. "Spare no expense," they said. They dined at 0. It was a splendid din-ner. They tasted wines of all kinds that they had never heard of before. They ate a great deal and drank a great deal, and told each other stories that both know by heart. The banquet lasted three hours. They called for their bill. The waiter placed a check, face down, on the menu. The gentlemen were toasting each other as the waiter did this, and when they placed their glasses on the table ho was gone. They snw what appeared to them to be a scrap of paper on tie menu and brushed it off.- - The old fellows were ignorant of the customs of French restaurants, and they concluded that the menu must be the bill. Tho colonel began to figure up the prices. It seemed that they had eaten a great deal, but the namesof dishes were in a language unknown to them, and anyway they were not in a mood to bother about trifles. Hut the colonel gasped when he figured up the total. It was $!)60. "Great heavens, sahl" ho exclaimed to the major. "It is $IK0. If we pay this we can't get hack homo." "Wo might," suggostcd the major faint-ly, "wo might jump out of this window and run." "No, sail," said tho colonel, bringing his fist down on tho table. "We are Kentucky gentlemen, sah. Wo will pay this bill, sah, and then, sah, we will shoot the land-lord, sah." New York Times. SiailarifSS 6m Time TaMe in effect Angnst 24, 1890 KASX liOUND TBAIHS. ' Nu. J No. 4 Atlantic Atlantic Mall. Express Leave 0(?den 9:ft'i a.m. fi:40 p.m Arrive Salt Lake W:Vi a.m. 0:fi6 p.m Leave Salt Lake 11 :00 a.m. 7:0fi p.m Arrive Provo....; S:4rp.m Leave Provo !9:fOp.m. 8:45 p.m Arrlvo Green River 7:06 p.m. 4:SO a.m LeafeOreon River 7:S5 p.m. 4:.'!0 a.m Arrive Grand Junction. .. 11:30 p.m. 8M3 a.m Arrive Pueblo 11:3.') p.m. 2:.'kr a.m Arrive Denver 8:00 n.m. 7:3;) a.m wesFbotindtrains. . No. No. 3 Pacitio Pacific Mall. Express Leave Denver 0:(in a.m. 8:05 p.m. Leave Pueblo 3:05 p.m. 8:10 a.m. Leave Grand Juncion... 7:(0 a.m. 7:15 p.m. Arrive Green River ll:ao a.m. 11:8ft p.m. Leave Green River 11:40 a.m. 11:30 p.m. Arrive Provo 6:10 p.m. a.m. Leave Provo (l:JO p.m. 0:18 a.ra. Arrive Salt Lake 8:10 p.m. 8:"5 a.m Leave Salt Lake 8:a p.m. a.m. ArrtveOEden 9:40 u.m. 10:05 a.m. LOCAL TRAINS. SALT LAKH AND OGDEN. Leave Salt Lake : Arrive Salt Lalte : 8:50a.m. 4:3up.m. 10:46a.m. 12:0p.m 8::5p.m. 6:55p.ra. 8AIT LAKE TO BINGHAM. Leave Salt Lake at 7:45 a.m., returning, ar-rive Salt Lake at 4:80 p.m. 'j rain arrives from Waa-'t- on Saturdays and leaves lor Wasatch on Mondays only. . O. DOUOF, J, H. BENNETT, den. Manager. Gen. Pass. Agt j An Undertaker Explains How Ungrateful Some People Oan Be Bill Smith's Demise. KNOCKED THE UNDERTAKES OUT. A Man to Whom it Would be Profitable for Any Undertaker to Tie To. "I remember," said the colonel, when the party reached the end of a good dinner, and tho waiters stood behind the chairs with lighted matches, "I remember an in-cident which stamped upon ray mind the fnct thut when a man has an eye for busi-ness he has eyes for nothing else. " The colonel tells a story well, and paused here, waiting for the cigars to be lighted and for the inspiring fragrance of the Hnvanas. ' "Ishnll not tell you how long ago It was, for I am getting too old to speak lightly of decades. Hut when I first set foot and it was a tender foot, let me say-- in Hugo, Colo,, X at onco conceived a great respect for a mnn named Higgins. I could not help feeling a roveronce for Iligyius. ' Higgins was an undertaker. Ho was tho only undertaker within a hundred miles, ! and he was getting rich. Never a dny passed but my friend Higgins had a funeral on hand. He was the most cheerful un-dertaker, perhaps, that over flourished. "I remember well tho day that I bado ' Higgins good-by- . He was as light spirited as a grasshoppur, and a thousand times ex-pressed his regret that I was going into tho interior until I felt clammy lest he might bo grieved at the thought that some ono else might have the proiitublu job of ' burying me. "When I next saw Higgins it was after a two yenrs' excrienco of chasing wild steers. I was glad to see him, he was such a jolly old undertaker. " 'Hello, Higglnsl' I said cheerfully when I walked into his establishment. 'How nre you, old manf "Higgins shook hln head mournfully, '. and then I stopped short in amazement, ; for I saw that he was nailing down boxes i and packing up his stock. " 'You aren't going to move, are youf I i cried in surprise, bub ho only jammed a . roll of crape into a dry goods box nnd . went on with his work. " 'See here, Higgins,' I cried, 'what's the troublof Tell me about it.' "Tho old man turned on me wrathfully. '"Ain't I been one o' Hugo's best citt . EensP' he asked sternly. " 'You have, Higgins.' , '"Ain't I paid my taxes?' " 'You have, my friend.' " 'Didn't I organize a board of educa-tion?' " 'You did.' " 'Wasn't I its president?' " 'You certainly were, and a good one, although we haven't any school yet.' " 'Didn't I head tho citizens' movement for law and order?' '"You did, Higgins.' " 'Well, that's all. Now, how do yon think this pesky town has treated its fore-most citizen?' " 'Tell me, Higgins. You have my sym-pathy.' " 'Well, I was makin' a decent livin'. I let out contracts for the only brick build-u- g in the town.' " 'Yes.' " 'I was goln' to call it the Higgins block. I was goin' to let the volunteer lire depart-ment have rooms In my block for nothin'. proposed to huve a temperance union 1n Mie town. I hoped to have a free library, you know I'm a progressive citizen, don't you?' " 'Yon are, IliRglns.' " 'Well, what, do you thiik this town has 4one to me!" " '.Surely nothing bad, nigglns.' " 'Nothing bad!' he screamed. 'Do you know what they've done? They've lynched Bill Smith, and if ever thore was a cow-ardly blow aimed at a foremost citizen it was that.' " 'But you can bury him, niggins.' " 'Bury himl' he screamed. 'Bury himl Bury Bill Smith! Why, man, Bill Smith was makin' a fortune for me. He killed his man as regular as the sun went down, and I buried every ono of 'em. Ha was worth $25 a dny to me, he was. So I'm goin' to leave 'cm. This town don't offer no inducements to an honest man like me. Think what I've done for 'em. I was go-I- to erect a monument to our departed brothers. And now there won't be a death In this town once a month. Poor Bill!' find Higgins seized a winding sheet nnd tried to slide his sobs. "New York Trib-une. The Difference. Mr. Chugwater (explaining matters to visitors) My wife is generally well, but she is suffering today from rheumatism, influenza, toothache, a sore thumb and an inflamed eye. In her case it never rains but it pours. Mrs. Chugwater (explaining matters also) I don't make any fuss about it, though. I am not like my husband. He never pains but he roars. Chicago Tribune. A Handsome Servitor. I Miss Htintingson (sweetly) I noticed you creeping through the plms, sir, ami I'm nfrnid you're not enjoying yourself. Maimnu and I want, all our guests to fuel at home. The Captured One Excuse me, lady, I jest sneaked out to get a glass of water. 1 piny th' lluto In th' band. Scrilmer'a Mag- -' oziue. Utali Central Railway. Time Card in effect May 22, 1890, Passenger Trains leave and arrive at Salt Lake City and Park City daily as follows: SALT LAKE CITY. Train 1 leaves Eighth So and Main st 7 :30 a m T Hes " " 7:30p.m PARK CITY. Train 1 arrives Park City 10:00 a m leaved l";: 4 5:00p.m FreWht trains leave and arrive at Salt Like hfws"11 C'ty daUy' excelrt Sunday, as fol- - Train No. 1 leaves Salt Lake m " 8 arrives " 3:l5n m " 5 leaV(,sParkclty 11:00 aim arrives " No . in passengers carried on freight trains. PASSENGER BATES : Between Salt Lake City and Park City, single trip, 93. between Salt Lake City and ParkCity, round trip,3. JOS. H. YOUNO, T.J. McKINTOSB, Manager. C'en. t'U cb Pat. Agi. Well Trained. Mrs. Brown has succeeded in impressing her childven with the rulo of obedience to an admirable degree. Yesterday the visitor at dinner lenned over to Susie Brown and said: "You enjoy this pie very much, don't you?" "Yes'm," was the demure reply, "but I don't want only one piece, and," she added, after a thoughful silence, "neither does Charley nnd Harry, and I don't think pa does cipher." Washington Post. Very Bracing, Jack Hopgarden Hullo! Ithoughtyou told mo there were no mosquitoes out where you live. What are you doing with those window screens? Morrison Kssex Mosquitoes? Haven't seen ono in Lonely ville this summer. But that New Jersey air is so strong nnd bracing that I have to put these screens on the nursery windows so us to filter it be-fore the bnby breathes It. 4'uck. An Unfortunate Mnn. Sad Eyed Wanderer Sir, can't yer help a poor feller wots lost his only means of support? Sympathetic Gont H'ml How did it happen? , "Well-or-y- ou see, my wife died this morning." Chatter. A Cool Proceeding;. "Please, will you give me a piece of Ice for my father, he's sick?" said a little girl to the driver of an ice cart the other day. "What's your fathor sick of, sissy?" asked the driver, as he broke a chunk from a cake with his pick and gave it to tho girl. "Plenso, sir, he's sick of the heat," she replied, as sho walked away. Boston Courier. No Vivisection. "How much is that canary?" "Ten dollars." 4 "Very well, I'll take it. Send mo tho bill." "Wo cannot send the bill without the rest of the bird." Harper's Bar.ar. Fred's Mistake. Amy Fred, I hear that yonr engage-ment with Miss Blessor is broken. Fred Yes, it is. Amy It must have been built on the sand to fall so soon. .. Fred I thought it was founded on rocks, but I discovered she hudu't any; Munsey's Weekly. Ho Felt Ashamed. Smalley Did you notice that man who just passed? How ashamed and remorse-ful ho lookedl Haglcy He was whistling "Annie Roo-ney- " just before he met us and he was afraid we had heard him. America. Giving Ulmself a Had Name. Mr. Hunks All, Mr. Oatcake, glad to see you I Don't you remember mo the nephew of your bank president, you know. Mr. Ontcnko Konlly, boyf Why, 1 un-derstood that your term at Sing Sing wasn't np for two years. How did you get out? Munsey's Weekly. All Ready, Hut Wife An' did ye have an answer ready for tho blaggnrdf Husband Yes, Delia, I had a foine an-swer all ready for him, but I couldn't find it when I wanted to use it. Yankee Blade. Might Have Learned There. Smtt'ii Were you at Bnlaklava, may! skr Tailor No, why? Smith You charge so magnificently. Chatter. Consolation in Adversity. Professor Xoodles (whose new eight dol-lar hat has been sat upon) Now what an interesting illustration of the laws of gravltatiou and of the compressibility of matter under a superimposed body of su-perior ponderosity! Munsey's Weekly. A Quint Audience. Friend What kind of an audience did you have? Lecturer A very quiet one. Friend No snorers there, ehf Yankee Blade. A Billot Doui "Yonr Bill Is Due." This morning in my mail I found A dainty envelope and fair, Addressed in writing neat and round , A note from som9 fair maid, I Bwear. To break the seal 1 trembling sped; My heart almost Btood still; I glanced, I swore, for there I read, "Inclosed please find your bill." Unidentified. Checkmate! , "Lost the ehessboard, Miss Battle?" "Never mtnd, Mr. Jones, we can play Without it."-J- dir. |
