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Show : THE SALT LAKE TIMES. W . . VOL. 5 SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH, MONDAY, DKCEMjUCR llStH)." NO. 53. FASHIONS OF THE DAY. WHAT IS LATEST IN THE LINE OF DRESS FOR LADIES. Some Gomi That An Tllor Mail nj Some That Are Home M1 What I the Proper Thing n Mourning Garb. Other Matter. Special Correspondence. New Yokk, Nov. 13. Like the Mar-chioness, I like to "make believe" some-times. Orange peel and water make lemonade if you only think so, and by turning and twisting and making over, old gowns can be mado into seem-ingly royal raiment if you only "make believe" hard enough. But it is rather monotonous. You may deceive your friends, but never yourself. j Now, here is an illustration of this the-- cry: Here is a young lady sen-nel- y uncon-scious of herself and happy in her perfect TAILOR MADE HOME MADE. tailor luado gown of gray serge, with i? dainty little bands of embroidery up the front, with its pretty cape with the double rows of silken balls and its all in all finish, with the hat to match. Her clothes do not trouble her, for she knows they are flawless. The other dear little bit of a body haa thriftily washed and made over her drab camel's hair skirt and added a pretty trimming of braid-ing, and she has taken the train and best part of a wine colored velvet and made of it the overdress and trimmed it with a three-inc- h band of fur. It makes a handsome and stylish gown, but sho worries over it and looks longingly at the tailor made 'nn. But, dear me! when women cease to ba women the millennium will be right upon us and no one prepared for it. the tailor made gowns are more fash-ionable than ever, eveu quite young cuik 'dren wearing them; that is, girls of 13 and 14. They are made of homespun in pepper-and-sa- lt mixture with, flecked, and snowflako surface. T'Ve .MUn-othe- r ' fabric much liked forlihilldren an4 young ladies call Herrif "V brocho which is really a broeAled stripi Chev--io- ts are worn in everconceivable vari-- ' ety, the shepherd and fine checks being favorites for the young. Tweeds are the favorite materials for tho tailor made suite in different weights. But the Cl:tu plaids are more liked than any of the above named goods for general wear. There is one rough material known as drap St. Petersburg, coarse and harsh bnt warm and thick, and in several de-signs, mostly large, indefinite coarse de-signs, with one spot in each plaid that ltKiks as if darned in contrasting colors. This makes undeniably stylish costumes, and requires next to no trimming. Mourning goods vary little, the silk warp Henrietta being do rigueur for first mourning, with crape bands. A widow's gown is made princesse, buttoning up the whole front, with bands down tho front and around the bottom of the skirt, which is made to train slightly in the back. The sleeves are covered with crape. The bonnet has a Mary Stuart point in front. There is a new silk nun's veiling which hangs in exquisite folds, and is light and devoid of that unpleasant crape smell. A dress for a young lady in mourning for a parent has a waist trimmed quite plainly, and with crape sleeves. The skirt has apron drapery, with three plain, horizontal bands across the hot- - MOURNING PRESSES. torn, and side panels of the same width. The veil hangs from the back of the hat, which is of felt and trimmed with but-terfly bows of the crane. A pretty gown for home was in gray (ashmereand had been ewn into a shape like a sheet, and then brought across just over the bust and around up again until a point came forward, plaited and fastened to the front with hooks, form-ing thus a shoulder strap. The fullness and length was caught up just back of the hips, and the back fell loo.se in a sort of Watteau plait to the floor. The front thus hung from the bust and adjusted j itself to the figure by the simple tlrap-ing- s and a rich cord and tassels that came from under the Wi.tteau plait. Olive Hari'lr. TRAINING SCHOOLS FOU NunSCS. The Ho-pll- a , w y,irk ily ltt-- I it M,'u mil Wnniru for J.ur-dnc- . The Bellevuu Trainnsf School for Nurse vrs started on --any J, l :;:), viih a enpcriutend;'nt and live nurses, having five wards under their cam. In tin, school had Ci pupils and had graduated SU"., while as a direct out-growth of tlmt luoiicnt beginning there are three oilier great whi !s in Now York alone. These are the New York City, v Mcli l:;iH t:4 prpils end has gradu-ate- d i(l!l; the New York hospital, with 4S pupils and !); gradual-.'!)- and Mount Sinai, with o pupils and 111 graduates. There are also smaller schools ia the city, but, great or n:i;ill, UclVvue nut t ahvvs he honored cs th pioneer. Lor graduates are at the hcr.l of iue.,t of the important schools and hospitals in the country, and have even gone so far uu Id an England, Italy and China. The next school to be established was the New York city, which was started by the commissioners of charities and correction in 1877, and in entirely sup-ported by the city. Until VVJ it was known as the Charity Hospital school, because it began there, but as it grew it;- work spread, until the old name was misleading and had to bo changed. It is now tho largest and in some re-spects the most important of nil the schools, as it unrsea five different hos-pitals Charity and Maternity on Black-well'- s Island, tho Infa.its' hospital tin Randall's Island, Oouverneur, at Gon-vtrne- Slip, and Harlem, at the foot of East One Hundred and Tvontiethtroet, the two last bt4ng accident or emergency hospitals, while at Charity tho cases are largely chronic. Besides the pupils of the school there are thirty two perma-- j nent trained nurses at Charity and Ran-- ; dall's Island, making nearly a hundred in all, for whom tho superintendent is directly responsible, and over whom sho has full authority. The other schools in tho city are supported from the funds of tho hospitals which they nurse. Mrs. Frederick Rhinelander Jones in Scrib-- j uer's. ('OIIX-HIR- O SFEClJi.L SALE OF Laffies' Misses' & CKlflrens'CIoaks& 'WraDS. On Inn to flip r.'innkalily wiirm wpHthfr prev.ilHni? hKie thtt winter, we are compelled to SACRIFICE OUrt tN f IRE STOCK of Mages' and ihtMr.nV Cloaks and Wrap. We offer a lot of Children' Cloak. Hlxrg t to 19. iu all w.wl tfoods, ma,le up In oorrect season's thll styles at 4, K mid e; a reduction of 3.1' per cunt from Titular prices. THE RNTIRR STOCK Of better noo Is ill CUitilreiiB' C'loaki marked down i from regular prices. MISSES' CLOAKS & NEWMARKETS, In slaes M, Wand IS, at to, Wand 17 ; a reduction of "4 from rrgular pne . Our EutTJ Sto--k of MISSES' JACKETS, la ''" l'-- li 1 and 18; marked down 85 per cent. Itffi CIiiMrens' stylish short coats, sizes 1, 2 an i :t; marked down S5 per cent. They will run from nl.tiO, II, f.'.M) and upwards. OUR ENTIRE LINE Ilraitlt'd (loth, Silk, Mairliissc and Plush M'rajis Xcw and Elegant Styles. Ali This Season's Make. Have heea MARKED DOWN TO BARE COST, and will be ottered at 110, 112, IUU U, Hi atid upwards ; sues 31 to 44. WHAT WE HAVE LEFT IN LADIES' NEWMARKETS At , G'sacrificei In rt'Raril to flush and Barques, we have this tii say: Our qualities and malws are the vt'i-- t in the hind ; iitui w lille it l.s well Unown thiit thso voodi have advanced 25 pnr c nt within tin l.tsi unlays, on of the In tarltT, we shall continue to sell ttieul at the uiIk-uu- ir ct s a oili-r- d at the benluiilnn of the seanon. We carry a full stock of HlVl't KVW MflTK X' VHX Sel hM dvanced percent sim IIL lilt.l tVi.lli J HRI.I') IV 1,11 Lit. Our prices, however remain the same. Jackets Ir.un Jllu to !.'; Capes at 75. i We are offerli g a sreat bargain In a lot of very choice, all wool. JERSEY WAISTS f"f I. 'idles. In 'hecks, Itouiie and Hnin Hlat k. made up in the beet possible styles, at Ml. Kit Kach. This is Half Price No Bm'h ba,,1"u ha8 evor teM nureJ ta Exactly 1 &ty : Oir Enlira Lim of Hiita Pricei Jerseys at Bare Cost ! : in Elegant Li ic ol Winter Skids. Very Choice Goods at 75c and $1.00. Abut Half Priff. A lot of Ladles' Heavy Jersey Ki libel Merluo Vests, at .15c: reduced froraSOC. Ladles' natural wool K Mie I Vests and Drawers, all sizes at 50c each; worth 75c, Sole Agents for DR. JAEGER'S Sanitary Wool Underwear for ladie' and Children. COHiNJ BROS. " ' THE v schwbitzer CLOAK and SUIT O Q J&m "2" -- 4Z Up L 55 Mam Street, Saft Lake Cty Tho Orly Exclusive Cloak and Suit House in Utah. ".. i NEW GOODS -NEW STYLES! " j) ri yrai 7 1 1 " bttr-Hinb- ii Hectric Co. I i 111 8 R 18 Has removed to their new store ta ItlJlllU i 11 J Roberts Block, North Commercial st Where they have laid in a full line of Electrical Supplies of All Kinds Agents for Western Electric Co.'s Dynamos and Eddy Motors. r . Electric Light Plants Installed. All Kinds of Electrical Work. Trimmed and untrimmed hats at a sacrifice. Simon Iiitos. Restaurant Francais, 16 Comuicrcial street. First-clas- s in all respects. Miller's unexcelled New York Silk and Derby hats will arrive tomorrow. Bast-Tekk- y Mekcanth.e Co. Hatters and Furnishers. 142 Main street ... I For rent A large honst with modern h improvements, furnished. Present tenant would, if desired, take rooms i and board of renter. 717 South Maiu J; street. I i 1 li Have placed in line large assortment of fall neckwear. Bast-Tekk- t Mercantile Co. Hatters and Furnishers. 143 Main street. Premature baldness can be averted ay using Skookum Koot Hair Grower. Premature baldness can be averfed by using Skookum Koot Hair Grower. "" " A ROMANCE SPOr.ED. Moral Is That Toung Woiiu-- Khnnltl Ileal Illncreetly with Their I'lunres. A charming romance has come to light over in the unromantio city of Brooklyn. It appears thut not long ago a teucher iu one of th.3 schools for children set them to writing compositions, of which she herself was to be the subject that is, the scholars wero told they might write out their impressions of their teacher. One of these essays, of peculiar literary excellence for a small child, drifted, in some way, into one of tho Brooklyn pa--: pers, which in its turn fell into the hands of a young dentist iu one of the growing towns in Montana. Tho description of the teacher's charms so captured his fancy and fired his imagination that he was moved to write a letter, addressed to her in care of tho paper which pub-lished the composition. In due time the letter reached her hands. She answered it, and a brisk correspondence soon sprung up, with an exchange of photo-graphs and confidences, which resulted iu the formation of an engagement. ' The marriage date was set, and shortly before tho month containing the wed-- ding day arrived the young dentist re-ceived a letter from his fiancee, in which sho said that she had one moro important fact to reveal to him, namely, that while her picture represented her as being a young woman of some personal charms, she considered it only frank to tell him that her beauty was marred by very de-fective teeth, which, she naively added, could easily be repaired after their mar-riage without any great expense. Whether the young woman's physical defect or her business euteqiriso de-stroyed the young man's ideal is not def-initely known, nor is it really known at present that the marriage is positively declared off, but it certainly dtx'S look as if it were, for three times since the receipt of that letter has the skittish young dentist written to postpone the ceremony, and the young woman is con-sequently obliged to keep altering the fashion of her wedding gowns in order that her trousseau may very properly represent the latest modes a privilege which every bride is certainly entitled to. This fable teaches, or should teach, that a young woman should manage her matrimonial arrangevients with discre-tion as well as with frankness. New York Evening Sun. WO!.! FN AS TRAVELERS. TWO GIRLS WHO WENT ALONE FROM PARIS TO SAN FRANCISCO. Tlier Made the Ti In Jul Twelve and One-Hai- r Da) s Titty Were Kick While rosshij,- - thu Water, hut They Kecrived the llot of Attention from I'veiybrtrf). American girls have that pluck which makes them admired by all the woriei. The following is a story of two young women who made a living trip from Pnria to !".:n Francisco. The sisters were t school in Paris, and expected soon to he met by relatives. One forenoon they received a cable dispatch telling them to como home as soon an possible. The oldest girl is about twenty years old. She immediately sent for time tables. While she was examining these her sister was packing live trunks. Miss V discovered that they could get a steamer from Southampton which w:is to sail tho next day. She posted to her bunker's, and hurrying back joined her sister in packing. At half past 8 that night they wero being whirled out of Paris. Neither of the girls slept that night. When they arrived in London at 0 o'clock in tho morning Miss F was forced to do some shopping, for however rapidly women travel they make time to do a little buying, and in tins case they had started so suddenly that this wus absolutely necessary. The, American sisters caught the 12:110 o'clock train for Southampton, not hav-ing had time to eat luncheon. Four hours later they wero on their steamer, tired and hungry and sleepy, but tri-- umphlnt. j ON THE OCEAN. Every one on 1 lie vessel was most kind to the young women and lauded their pluck to the skies. The voyage would for tlus reason have been made pleasant for them, bnt their hurry and lack of deep, together with their nerve tension, made them easy prey for man's mortal enemy, seasickness. From tho time the big steamer left England until she swept up New York harbor the weather was uncompromisingly rough. Not one day was fair. When the ycung women reached the steamer they wero utterly exhausted, and at once went to bed. This set the stewardess to grumbling. She wanted the girls to npjiear at the diuner tablo on the first day at least, "Oh, don't urge us to go to dinner again," cried Miss F wearily, and then she told tl.o woman the experience through which they had just passed. "You poor littlo dears," said the woman, at once becoming gentle, and for tho rest of the voyage she neglected every one else to look after "th brave little American ladies." Men and women joined in littlo court-esies and attentions to tho two gills. One old crusty Englishman seemed to take offense if any oue monopolized their attention. He becametheir loyal guard-ian and walked around like a great pro-tecting mastiff. It was he who stood on the deck with them on the day that tho girls turned their eager eyes toward tho Statue of Liberty. The new friends of "the brave littlo American ladies" , ad-vised tlieiii to stay in New York for 'one day to geta little rest. They would not listen to ntjch pleasant urgings. The stewardess actually wept over their de-termination to hurry on to San Francisco. NO REST FOB THEM. "Only get one night's sleep," she plended, but the girls had been told to come home as soon as possible, and they were (leaf to all entreaties. The steamer was at her pier at 4:.'i0 p. m., and a train left Jersey City at OiilOp. m. In that two hrairs the girls left tho uteamer, had their trunks ex-amined by tho custom house officials and wero driven to t lie railroad station. Their adoring old Englishman, who did not look as if he had moved rapidly in forty years, fretted and bustled around tho trunks when they were being opened, lie was in mortal terror lest tho girls would miss the train after all. He stamiied, got red iu the face, puffed violently and finally recovered the bag-gage with a cry of exultation. The train which started westward that even-ing carried with two white faced young women the good wishes of a shipload of passengers. "No woman but an American would undertake such a thing," said the Eng-lishman, looking at two bits of of white lace where two handkerchiefs fluttered at the cur window as the train rolled out of the station, "and," he added, "no woman but an American could succeed in such an undertaking." For the benefit of those who are inter-ested to know how tho trip ended, and to satisfy those whu like to follow trans-atlantic records, it may bo said that the young women reached home in safety. To go from London to their home in San rrancinco took them just twelve and one-hal- f days. New York Tribune. FIRE EATERS' TRICKS. HOW THE SALAMBOS PERFORM THEIR WONDERFUL FEATS. Very Easy After You Know the Way It Is Done The Mouth and Skin Are pro-tected by a Bolutiou of Sulphur and Alum Oas Is Generated from Gasoline Among the various methods of earn-ing your bread by tho sweat of your brow, fire eating is one that would seem bnt few peoplo would adopt as a means of livelihood. But for years and years people with cast iron palates and brazen ,.lated lips and tongues have exhibited their peculiar abilities for a stipend. At the present time in tins country there are a half dozen men and women who go about from dime museum to variety hall and from variety hall to a "store show" and astonish the natives. All these peoplo do seemingly the most won-derful things, and as the business is dif-ficult to learn their numbers are limited. The present corps of fiery entertainers have, however, been lately augmented by a brother and sister, whose ability in that lineputseverythingin the shado ever seen here. They are known on tho bills as t Earle and Ollie Salambo, and aro further dignified for show purposes as the "IIu- - uiau Electrical Dynametcrs." The Sa-- j lambos touch each other with their fingers ana produce sparks; they open their mouths and a stream of flamo two feet ti long issues from them if they but touch J their lips with the ends of their fingers; they swallow boiling wax and blow sparks showers of sparks from the end of a hollow glass tube; they take a gas pipe with four gas jets on it, and by the sim- - j pie process of putting an end in the mouth and drawing their hands across the gas jets four good sized flames burst into brilliancv. HOW THE TRICKS ARE HONE. It was only steady practice and con-stant coating of their months and hands and soles of their feet with a solution, i and the business was comparatively easy und they really did not swallow anything at all. Each performer has his own recipe for the solution he drinks and rinses his mouth and hands with, but the principal ingredients of it in each case remain the same. When tho mouth is rinsed out in that it forms a sort of an artificial skin or film that it takes a lit-tle while to destroy, and as long as that coating remains there is absolutely no ' danger, and the rest of their wonderful tricks are nothing but a delusion and in most cases sleight of hand. There ia one performer who is known in museum circles as the "Human Lamp," and he makes lota of money by doing this act. He drinks some kero-(en- o oil in view of the audience, puts a wick in his mouth, lights the wick with a match, puts a lamp chimney over the flame and bums merrily away. On his Ktand is a lamp half filled with oil.! I7" Irotn the can ha pours what purports to ' be oil in the lamp. It is not. It is water, and, of conrse, tho oil already in' ' the lamp floats on top of the water; then he lights the oil to prove what he poured out was oil. He gravely drinks from the oil can, puts a wick saturated with sweet oil in his mouth, lights the wick, und there you are. Very simple, is ifc not? M t Now there is another gentleman whof walks on red hot bars, and seizing a horse shoe heated red hot in a forge near by bites the heated ends off and pre-tends to swallow them. He is not. so much of a trickster as the "Human Lamp," and really earns all the money he gets, for although his bare feet are eoated with a sulphuric solution and his mouth and lips well plastered with the same, it is real hard work to bito pieces of iron in halves, even if the heat tnakes them soft and pliable, nnd if they aro kept in the mouth too long, in spite of the film, they are very hot and indeed. This gentleman wills himself St. Elmo, and another part of his performance is to take oakum balls, saturated with blazing pitch, in his mouth, a half dozen in succession. THE HUMAN GAS WELL. And that trick gets more applause than the biting of the horseshoe, but it b very easy of accomplishment, because ihe minute you put fire in a place where there is no air it immediately goes out, and so the instant St. Elmo closes his mouth tho fire is quenched in the blaz ing ball, and all there is about it is the disagreeable taste of the oakum ball and a little warmth, which may not be pleasant, but can be borne for $50 a week. ' Another trick of the fire eaters is to take a pioco of cotton and put it in their mouths, and then open their mouths and . blow smoke and streams of fire out. Every child, or almost every child, knows that if you put a spark iu the cen-ter of a ball of cotton and blow through itjthe fire will eat all tho center out, leaving the mere shell. There is a companion performer to the "Human Lamp," known sometimes as "Natural Gas," or tho "Human Gas Well." He gets more money than the mau who drinks water for oil, and to. What he does is precisely the basis of all the work dono by the Instead of eating cotton and pitch and wax when heated, he coats his mouth with his own private solution and unseen stoops down and picks up a round worsted ball saturated with gas-oline. Now, gasoline is very .volatile, and when mixed with air forms a vapor that is easily ignited and gives a very fierce and blue flame. A gasoline ball held in the mouth and blown steadily through, the vapor goes through the gas tube and is ignited, and that's all there is to the "Human Gas Well." Tho lecturer of tho museum where ho works generally vividly where he was born and how Jiis parents could not keep him from eating tho dirt in the natural gas fields of Ohio, and other int eresting fabrications. New York Herald. Fish with Ilrass Labels. If nyoiiOMi,L,';iRl in wfilihliiiifr should capture fish with brass IuIx-I- tied to their tails with aluminum wire or a black silk cord an explanation will no doubt be somewhat eagerly desired. There are hundreds of fi;.h so trented in the sea, and it need not be concluded that prac-tical jokers have been at work. The brass label is an indication that tho fish wearing it has been in tho hands of the grave men of science who are investigat-ing the habits, tho food and the growth conditions of fish in Scottish waters. Two objects are served by the label attach-ment. In the event of the fish being recap-tured by any one who will give informa-tion to the Foienfifio cruisers of the Scot-tish fishery board on tho Garland there will be something known about its mi- - gr;lory habits. Its rate of growth in a stale of freedom may also bo investigat-"c- X It might be thought that the chance f meeting with these labeled fish again V.ild be very small, but it appears that tit Garland cruisers themselves have 2t per cent, of the plaice and per cent, of the cod wearing their Medals. But only plaice, cod and skate Were recaptured. The experiments are tL be continued on a largo scale. They (f( not interfere with tho health of the fhh, which when recaught ere plump and f n good condition. London Illustrated iN'ews. Riot of Women In Bologna. Bologna was in an nproar a short time ago in consequence of the violent street demonstrations of tho 2,000 women em-ployed in the arsenal there. The gov-ernment had just ordered 21,000,000 car-tridges, and in the midst of the resulting hurry and bustle several women threw about explosives with the greatest care-lessness. A young woman superintend-ent reported this, and the careless women were discharged. The superintendent had already earned the hatred of the women under her by her pretty face and popularity with the officers. The discharge of the woman she had reported for disciplin brought this hatred to a white heat, iind a conspiracy was formed to lynch ber. The officers in charge of the arsenal discovered the .plot and gave tho pretty superintendent a guard of ten policemen, who watched over her night and day All the women In the arsenal then went on a strike and marched up and down the streets, shout-ing, stoning every ono they met, and usually bringing up before the prtty superintendent's house. Whenever the superintendent appeared in the street tho women were after her with clubs and stones, and were fought back in hand-to-han- d tussles with her escort of policemen. At night the women painted the town till the last Bolognaite was aroused and brought to his window with loud de-mands for peace. The government finally listened to these demands, and had the streets kept clear at night by a company of soldiers. Although most of the women havo since returned to work, the plot against the fascinating superin-tendent is still on, and she attends to her duties only under the guard of her ten policemen. I Jolin Is Hip Oldrr. I Among a certain coterio in this city nore or less speculation was a short finio sinco going on concerning the rela-tive ages of Senator Charles B. Farwell and his brother John V., the merchant prince. It was of no use to consult tho public records, for they differed and were not reliable. And as John V. simply shook his head and smiled in answer to inquiries on the subject, and as tho senator when in Washington de- - clined to express himself in writing, the individuals interested were compiled to let their thirst for knowledge continue nnslakened until the latter should re- - turn. When he did return he was ill, but that was no obstacle, and upon gain-ing his presence the committee put tho question to him. The senator looked at them for a moment, raised himself on his elbow and replied in feeble tones: - "I was born first, but John is the j older." j Then he lay down on his pillow, t timed over, and the committee, bursting with a plethora of information, withdrew. Chicago Herald. Mrs. Mona Calrd. Mrs. Mona Caird is a woman who i? a lover of jewels and laces and dainty draperies, open to all aesthetic influ-ences. Her drawing room in London reflects her quaint and original taste in its arrangements, its inviting ingle nooks and the odd windows over the mantel. Tho "den" in which she writes cries out against its name. It is a mar-vel of white enamel and delicate tint-ing- s, even the book eases and the pretty writing desk showing the fleckless fin-ish. Here she has a special drawer for the manuscripts of her new books, "One That Wins." "Whom Nature Leadeth" and "The Wing of Azrael." Mr. Caird pro-claims himself ready to maintain against all the world that his wife makes tho best cup of tea in London. She is a pretty figure while serving it, clothed in a long, falling house robe in tints of pink and gold. Her soft, heavy brown hair, waving low on her forehead; the dainty cups and saucers, fragile as egg shells, seem fitter burdens than sociologi-- , cal treatises for her fingers. London Cor, Chicago News. Wealthy. A prominent citizen of St. Paul was in Minneapolis and met a former acquaint- - ance whose ordinary condition was what is known as impecunious. This time, however, his face was fairly beaming. "How are you?" ho asked in a cheerful ' bass voice as he extended his hand to the man from St. Taul. "First rate. How are yon?" "Splendid! Do yon know" here ha dropped his voico to a confidential key "I've been given tho use for life of a half million dollar estate over on Nicol-let avenue?" "You have?" asked the other man in astonishment. "Yes; tho public library." St. Paul Pioneer-Pres- A Successful Counterfeit. Onr rations while in Richmond we es-timated at two to four ounces of beef and six to eight ounces of good wheat bread. To supplement this we made counterfeit greenbacks, which we were Bometinies able to pass on unsuspecting guards. Once, byenttingoutthe figures from a ten cent scrip and with a little blood 'gluing this over tho figure one in a dollar greenback, myself and three comrades bought with this bogus ten dollar bill ninety loaves of good bread, and it was the only time while I was in tho Confederacy that I made a full meal. Century. t Walt Whitman's Humor. Walt Whitman is popularly thought to have no sense of humor, but one day a young man dropped in upon him at his humble home in Camden, N. J., intro-duced himself as a poet, and begged to be allowed permission to read selections from a bundle of manuscripts which he j carried. "No, thank you," said Whit-- man, courteously but firmly, "I have been paralyzed twice." San Francisco j Argonaut. One ol New York's Toetesses. That dear puritan of song, Edith Thomas, though born in Ohio, comes of the truest, bluest New England blood. The elder of a widow's two daughters, her bringing up was of tho simplest, but nowhere in all the land will you find a woman with more of fineness and charm of manner. She is tall and slight, with a longish, oval faco. bright dark eyes that see visions and dream dreams", a pale, clear sbin and jet black hair. For several yeam now her home has been in New York, where she is a very great fa-- ! vorite with some of the most exclusive circles. Mrs. Vincenzo Botta lias been her social fairy godmothf r. Want of time and strength, though, keep Miss Thomas from going out very much. She is a close student, u very hard worker, and under all her fame as a poi t keeps the fresh hiart cf a child Epneh. Posted. Jenkins (trying to be 3orial Is this Fanner Jones? Farmer Smith No, sir-e- it ain't Farmer Jones; it's Farmer Smith. An' I'll jnst tell yer, young feller, that I'm posted on that bunco game, an' yer can't play it on me! So you an' yer friend yarlder 'd better git. Harper's Bazar. To Lubricate Ills Words. Miss Iu Gimp (looking through the samples of a drummer for a material house) What do you carry this liiilo oil can 6 ,r? Drummer I wear that under mv tongue when I tackle a rough customer. Jewelers' Weekly. . The Retort Courteous. Tangle Do you know how it feels to be kicked by a mule? Bronson No, and I hope yon don't want to show me. Epoch. It Always Seems So. Merritt I wonder what manes your ( grandmother lik j to rock so much. j Little Johnnie 'Cause the chaircreaks so. Epoch. |