Show I i H HL L Mr Dooley on the Spirit of Christmas IBy I By F P Dunne J I Well sir said Mr Dooley I see that th boord board Iv down in New York have about made up their minds not Dot to lot Jot th sing Chrismas carols anny more mor Why not asked Mr Hennessy Well VeIl said Mr Dooley Us this xv way ay I see be th papers Certain Iv a splendid race that th t has persecuted an crushed fr Vr r manny but are still far rm broke wint to this here cultivated body Iv ik 1 retired an de demanded demanded mended that all references to th past st be hopped chopped out iv th songs s They The were willin th sIng thim If no was made Iv lv th origin Iv lv An ye e can bet th tit boord iv Idd catlon listened to thirn Fr a race that has been foot so long lone our rats a few miles east ea t Iv Ireland are arc far tar weak In the he great centers iv our ur disturbances Names in helmer heimer are far more frequent on th iv banks thin names with 0 Of or Mac an th Germans hold our grip or 01 th distribution Iv moisture but if Father Kelly wants to buy a shirt he h has to go to me frind Jake Felsenthal fr it Th Irish are th greater potes poles but they have hae a shade th best Iv us at mental arithmetic We arithmetic Into an they into arith arithmetic metie Their names are seen on th page iv lv manny an on th more pages iv 1 all They aint quite as good hands at po as we are but fr foreigners not so bad ba an a combination iv us an thim can bate th So ye can bet th Ui boord iv l r addin up th thO Epis vote listened to what they had to say Jake J ke Felsenthal was in inhere inhere Inhere here today an he says sas theres In it Hes a fine man luau me frind Jake Felsenthal elsenthal He was at wan time tima cap captain captain tain tam iv G hi in th Rifles he was wa th fastest yards man we had ha in th Gaelic Ath Athletic Athletic Athletic letic association though not so 80 goo goot J at th cabar or put tin th thO shot an he has often boxed at atour atour atour our weekly concerts th name iv lv Hes a fine pious man mantoo mantoo mantoo too an often have I seen him go into his church with his hits stovepipe hat on his head He give me th laugh I told him me gloomy suspicions that his people were to abolish Chrismas Dont ye believe it says lie he Well Vell do to in injure Injure Injure jure a that makes people look lock lockso so cheerful Were ere a happy race ice our silves an were glad iv wan day that th gloom off th Ui faces iv th rest iv ye Why says he with a wink If Iv th Ui kind was ed my people Mople rally around Chrls Chris Chrismas mas inas to it again its mimics But fr that splendid wave Iv lv Hebrew sin that sweeps th Christ Christyan yah yan a year ear an makes ye buy things fr other people fr fear goin to buy something fr ye e what become iv th Ui department stores No sir Ill stand firm an fight light to save this fis that is so dear to ye yo again all aU th attacks Iv th As f fr fl r tk th Chrismas carols I used to sing when I was a little kid kidan kidan kidan an Hogan an used to attend th Sunday Sund y school th Sunday they had th Chris Chrls Chrismas Chrismas mas tree They flyer niver hurt me No song iver ier hurt If It It was set setto setto setto to music Cheer up me boy Come over to th store Ive Ivo got a set if th Lives iv th Saints that I can let ye je have cheap Thud make a suitable Chrismas Iv hes lies right No wan can have anny rale dislike iv Its a kind iv a holiday that Ivry man seems to get a part iv Be I believe that If old Mahamet was alive hed hang up his on th mantelpiece an go broke givin to his wives In Ina Ina Ina a little less thin two weeks time all th will be up arly any songs gifts each cach other on th back out Chrismas box terry Merry Chrismas Th same tore to toye toye ye re Pathrick Bill Etieene Jovanny Carlos Hans or 01 Iv lv will be yellin in a lap lan languages Oh look what I got In the iv men will be at th heads iv lv tables slap sl p pin a carvin en on a steel an thin goin at a turkey an nin mira miracles miracles cles den iv scientific distribution Pleas Pleasant Pleasant ant will go round Ill have some more iv thim mashed potatoes potatoe Pass th cranberry sauce Father If not careful yell yel have left fr fl Niver ye mind me m Thrust th U old man to look out dut ut fr tr Th Jest will go round Little beys by will look sadly at what is left iv 1 th noble poble bird an reflect as Hogan says on th vanity Iv human ambition in th eating line An that night Dock OLeary OLe passin by my place will hand me th same remark that hes handed me f ft fr r thirty years I must go home arly any fr fir tomorrow Is Isme isme isme me busy day da But I dont mind I dont care people get overeating Its they the have haveit it frn not gettin enough to eat that Im says he Father Kelly says Chrismas is a feeding as well as a feast About this time iv h th year th Chrismas Chrls mas comes s along an gives ye a nudge thinking about cutting down ex cx I an savin money an th Ui Chrismas spirit whispers in ear Come give up But says yc ye why wh I he be things f r people that dont want thim because gaul gain gaint to t buy things fr me me that I dont want because they think Im buying things fr thim they dont want because I think things fr Cr me that I r dont want None Nono iv business says sas sa s th spirit iv Chrismas Loosen up An the first thing I know In a store a goold watch an chain an a dimon shirt stud fr ft me I think not but I hope I always hope about Chrismas time i that Im goin gohl to get that Ive always wanted but so far bavin havin passed a matther Iv sixty Ive had little luck Iver since I was a aboy aboy aboy boy an en wanted a pony an got a cad cal I have in the cellar as large a collection Iv green neckties slippers an book marks as Jake Felsenthal has hason hason hason on sale pale An yet I dont mind It Th sufferings I endure gettin pris ints Is offset be th thi pleasure I Inflict in ivin thim I know that on Chris Chrls Chrismas Chrisman mas man eve evo ev yell yeli come como in here an Ill reach th bar an toss out to toye toyo toye ye yo a small box b x with th tl remark Heres a little something I r got fr frye frye frye ye An yell open It up an to be overwhelmed with pleasure an surprise ye see a yellow cravat with green stripes stripe Well upon me how did ye e come to think Iv this There must be something In thought transference fr this tills is th very thing I was hopin some wan give me An thin ye reach into coattail pocket an all pull out a pack package package package age I reel with joy at th sight iv a cardboard match box to hang on th wall an take ye be bo th Ui hand an say I feel I to take this Why did ye go to such ex expense expense expense pense f fr r me It makes my my poor little gift lok look so tr yah An th tW next week I thai that yere yore not th Ui millinery I give ye e an au ye yo note that I still get me mo matches out iv me mo vest pocket an nather iv 1 us cares a wan way or another r But if Ife ye e given gIen me inc or if gUen gien me something an I given ye yo wed both feel mad There aint anny worse thin not gettin something some somebody somebody somebody body that yeve eve give something to ex except except except to get something somebody that yeve given glen to In wan case yo ye o feel like a sucker an in the theother theother theother other like an embezzler Ive often thought be a good idee f ft fr r peo pee people people pie to get together a week or two be fure Chrismas an say If yell yeli prom promise promise promIse ise not to give me th necktie that th t 1 I Isee see in eye ee I will promise not to give ye YC th I to give ye e in But both th spirit iv Chrismas an J Felsenthal tell me methis methis methis this Is wrong They both say an right Well Us a grand anny how I begin to see th Ui effects iv It already The amount iv has already increased about ab ut fIfty per cent Th stores store are bright brightening brightening ening up I see me goin home homa with bundles their overcoats Th Salvation Army Sandy Klaus KInus on th corner with th false falso whiskers Is 19 his tambourine Even old Grogan give me a pleasant bow b w this mornin He has sint to his de posy tors that they can out their money if promise to spind It on presents present an not riot on household ex or other base luxuries Anas An Ils f ft fr r th Chrismas s has been comic comin f fr r about two months fr ft thim thiman an an shinin in their cheerful hopeful avaricious lit little lIttle 1 tle tIe faces No matther what kind iv lv a Chrismas this is fr ft else be a good wan f ft fr r th kids There flyer niver was a bad wan fr thim thimI I cud Chrismas more if I was younger said s ld Mr 1111 Hennessy Not to mention a or or two t tw l lother other things me said Mr Ir Dooley Run out now before all gone an buy that match box bo I have in th a necktie that Id defy ye t to wear to a a ball iv th Iv th Sons iv Ham Hani 1907 by H H McGlure Co |