Show On the Side SideBy By VEX WEX JONES JONESO 0 O OCTOBER must most have hate been a n great shop shopping shopping ping month for Eve Ere Eni Ever r i COMING COMINO Kern Torb ToniA A toy boy b V hat has hat leen been arrested for lib his automo automobile automobile bile bite After an exciting chase through the principal streets Henry Steel I gold aged two to was arrested today br by I Bicycle Policeman Mr was WIlS running his motor baby carriage at atI forty Corty miles an aD hour bour endangering the lives Ittel I of at scores of shoppers I CHICAGO While racing another motor 1 baby carriage the be Doughboy twins aged I one Olle smashed Into Inton a street car cor and nn were l i thrown forty feet teet Into the ale air By Dy a mint mira miracle cle cleo they the lath both both escaped Injury Although though their I car and milk lunk bottles Lollies were ground to pieces t I the th wreck of or Harold power baby carriage this evening hi his parents and Dud those of or Miss Gladys Compile were made aware of ot the elopement of or the couple Mr ia is i three years old and has ha already figured In 10 six or seven seren motor accidents It Is sto to be b hoped doped the Louisiana bears are enough to show up and spare the country a speech denouncing the Pane Cane Canebrakes ane brakes as a vast rast nature fake LOST AND FOUND LOST Between Cortlandt and Wall Wail Wallstreet WallI I street ferries a reputation P A O D Wid Widener ener Philadelphia i LOST Books and cheques Finder will willbe willbe willbe be tired fired Inter Met ret FOUND Nothing W T Jerome I THE DICTIONARY OF MISINFORMATION ASSET Two names suitable for terminals term als of street car lines BRADY Heres Here an asset Fort George and Madison Square Ferry Rail Railway Railway Railway way I I RYAN worth to toI I the Metropolitan I a a BACON pig I DACHSHUND A parade i I a fine dachshund I You bet takes him thirty minutes to toI toI I I pass pus a n given point Dippy Dialogues ma looses I II i LOON 1 A bird which dips Into the water 2 A man marl a little bit dippy too I S a s j QUIGG v o t tTo To accelerate I Kindly gul my mT order or I will cancel I It Letter Hey you yon quips quigg that truck track or 01 Ill run runyon runyon yon Jon In Traffic Policeman S S a STARS Tacks for tor the angels to step on HER LETTER LErr ER ERDen Dear Den Belinda Nothing Is more chic than a caravan or a barge says Bays an English lady now that theres a reaction tion against motoring from place to I place at top speed The same things true over OTer here and when the Tommy Tomm wanted want d to give a little affair I helped them decide Of course we thought of the Erie Hats enough goodness knows but not enough out of the ordinary sug suggested suggested eu the Staten Island Railroad but the ferry enough like a barge Tommy T thought we might spend the af at afternoon afternoon I going to Flushing on the tho B n It T but Just hates rubber plants Finally I 1 hit on the very thing ft Broad Broadway way surface car It was one grand success suc success cess The and I and all ail that crowd came Mrs said It t was Wall the most restful day she ever spent Luncheon j I I was served at Leonard nard street and Bobby Dobby got a bit and wanted to toI dive dire off air the car and rescue a n traffic I l I cop who was drowning ne he said In to the J I tide of traffic Bobby thought he was wasI aboard his hI yacht the Long Glass Class We t I were going to have dinner at Grand GrandI I street but It was most annoying we had bad to take the car ahead and the soup got cold so ne Ire e nil decided to nurry hurry home bome to the new neww house on Riverside Drive and accordingly all got ot out and walked It was great and ana Mrs Rocker bUt wants me to think up a chic er af at affair fair lair for her next week But Dut Im afraid I dont know anything an It hID A slower ETHEL EThIEL We killed three bears bom six alx deer one wild turkey tarn squirrels one oca opossum and one ono wildcat wild t President Roosevelt I Now cow ow who ho says saTS the President a lover of ot wild animals I A PRIZE ESSAY I Senator Bourne borne offers s a prize price of or 1000 for the best essay on Why Roosevelt should be elected for a II third term Here Bere is the probable prize winner Roosevelt should be elected again be because because cause his acceptance of or the nomination I would be In direct violation of his a ted pledges s Because his bis reelection j would afford allord a precedent for reelecting a I I President for tor life lite as Diaz Diu in Mexico Bo Bc cause he can tell a n c by Its voice I Banquets at The lingua Hague ue peace conference I cost more than half halt a n million dollars The delegates evidently dread war but ugh I at dyspepsia WITH THE Great race this object to get as ns f tar far faraway r away from St Louts Louis as possible In to the shortest time tilDe Fifty thousand thousand people gas gaz gazIng Ing lag at nt us at as we started d One Ono of our ropes got tangled around n a spectator and be lie was carried up three or four hundred feet Luckily Lu lly I 1 was able to cut the rope before our chances chancel of winning were vere jeopardized We did a little damage to a 11 chimney with our car knocking thirty or forty bricks over on the crowd but for fortunately fortunately our equipment was In no way damaged Leaving the city we had bad a n magnificent view TIc of fields houses and Ith i things gs like that One of our sandbags 1 slipped overboard and went through the j i root roof of f a farmhouse A man presumably the owner followed followed us as with a 11 shotgun for more than a Ii mile but the only time time we I were low enough to be In range ran e we spoiled spelled his hll aim elm with a shower er of at sand which ap appeared to close el se his hll eyes yes as he stumbled I Into an A adjacent adJa ot pond the last lut we saw of him Whiling away the th monotony with a 11 fishing line and a bunch of bOOks Got three chickens n a eat cat mans hat bat and ud a I petticoat off eff a clothesline already What I ho for Canada I Breathes there a hear with soul so dead I That never neer to itself hRs has said saltI There goes our noble President I me if it Im glad he went |