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Show THE LADIES. If you make two Massachusetts girls laugh, iu meeting, you will be lined $5. Tho pride of Graodviuw, Iowa, is a girl 14 years of ago, who wbcigbs 200 pouuda.. An exchange reports that a lady "was drowned in a previous edition of that paper." j It was Tom Moore, the gifted author au-thor of the "Peri and Paradiae," who first wroto .up the girl of the Peri-odd. Peri-odd. This thing is getting dangerous, A Canada dog recently bit a woman, and diod almost immediately afterward. after-ward. The man whose wife cut up bis ulster during the soft spell, for carpet-raga, carpet-raga, ia by no means the man who laughs. Commodore Vauderbilt uacd to say "no, sir," and "yea, sir," to the ladies, and that's another proof that he was insane when ho drew his will. There is an average of three women to one man in Monroe county, New York, and no wonder a fellow doesn't feel like going to evening gatherings. Kentucky vigorously stands by her Young. Of courao. " Whore yet was evor found a mother Who'd give her booby for another?" . In about three weeks more it will, bo time for every fond husband to hint that his wife ought to take a trip to her childhood homo for tho season. When you see a . little girl getting out her handkerchief, after wrestling half an hour with an eight-column sum in addition, you may be sure a cry sis is at hand. - There ia a nothing uew under the sun, Mr. Pleaaantou. For years and years tho litoruiy ladiuu uf- -Bunion have worn blue stockings as a stimulant stimu-lant for the mind. New Cook "If you're going up stairs, Mr. Ruggles, you might just tell my lady tbat if she can't write the 'Mehoo' in French, I shall be very 'appy to do it for her!" An English woman in man's clothing cloth-ing enlisted in a regiment to which her husband belonged, but refused to undergo the preliminaries usual for recruits, and so was detected. Bald-headed gentleman iu parquet par-quet to young lady in the dress-circle, during an a flee ting passage of tbe play : " I reapect your emotion, ma'am, but you are shedding tears on my head." A young lady sent a poem to a British newspaper entitled, "I cau not make him smilo." The editor ventured to express tho opinion that she would have succeeded had she shown him the poem. A foreign critic says that no rival is so Berious as the sympathetic, vain married woman who has petted and flattered tbe bachelor, and is bristling with anxiety to do the same kind ollico for the Benedict. A Kentuckian married a girl without with-out previously telling her that oneot his legs was built of oak wood, and now she walnut live wilb him. He pines and sings: "Oak gum back to me," but she won't go. Anne Brewster tells of a Spanish lady who went to a ball in Home arrayed ar-rayed in a costume composed of roues. That isn't quite so decollete as Mrs-Eve's Mrs-Eve's wardrcbe, but perhaps they don't raise lig trees in Komc, Two acquaintances met on a wet day; ouo greeted tbo other with, "Beautiful rain, this! Fetch things out of the ground!" Second fiend (disconsolately), "Hope not air; hope not; got two wives there, sir!" Hip pockets for lap doge aro the latest innovation in ladies' dresses. With a dog in her pocket, a seal ou her back, a bird in her hut and kids on her feot, the weli-drc6scd lady is but little short of a walking menagerie. men-agerie. A French girl advertises that she has 600,000 francs, and fain would marry a good-looking man. Wilb $100 capital almost any American newspaper man could aspire to hei hand, but store clothes coat, and tradesmen are getting to be eiceed-ingly eiceed-ingly cautious. When an unsophialicattd Reno girl getB her pompadour panier on before in the excitement and nervousncsi attendant on her wedding trip, hei general resemblance to a Central Pacific snow plow ia what makei people stop and stare at her in speech less amazement. Jennie June says that Mille. Aimee can look moro wickedness than any other woman couid talk, and seemi to be the very incarnation of attrac live sin. No one could ever think ol her as having once been a baby and held in a mother's lap, or heard lull' bics from a mother's lip. "Ob, what becomos," said Chloe fajr Of all the pins that from my hair I drop untwodt'd on the lloor, And never mi;s or see them moro?" "My dear," said Darwin, "they all go Into our mothar aarth below; There their development begins, And ending tney aro terra- msJ" |