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Show IXTi'LLXGS. Lap dogs arc not worn na much as formerly. Ifilsson tnkcd the money and Kuuze-aud Kuuze-aud recuipta tho bills. Hon. Alexander IT. Stephens is :i dodo Bludent ol the Bible. "Die! oh! Lewis!" ia the exclnma-alion exclnma-alion of many Ohio saloon keepers. There's nothing in the world-which keeps Lent so well as an umbrella. There are 1,535 newspapers published pub-lished in tho United Kingdom of Great Britain. Iceland ia about to celchrato ita tenth centennial, and it wi.l be no beggarly ten-centennial. A panther, which howls all night and feeds mostly on domestic cats, is agitating v incheiulon, Mass. A patent iron coffin dealer adver tises that thuso who have used his invention in-vention once will use no other. A man with a turn for relics in Lewistown, Maine, possesses "his first and only pair of kid gloves, purchased pur-chased over thirty-two years ago.' New York Commercial: "Whore are all those Mcmnonites?" ask the Western editors. Yes, "Where are all you men o' nights?" aslc the Western West-ern editors' wives. A Chicago clergyman, who was ejected Jrom his church recently, eue-riously eue-riously enough preached in a billiard saloon, Hiado a run of three- points, and pocketed the collection. Tho women of Chicago, gays the 1 st and Mail of that city follow the tactics of McClellan in conducting the whisky war. They arc waiting for the dust. They cannot stand March in tho mud. At a recent meeting of a society in k Boston, composed of men Irom the rmiernld He, a member made the following motion: "Mr. President, I move yees that we whitewash the ccaling grcan in harnor of thu owltl flat'." A renn:-.ylvani;ui, who lovrs the smell of cigars, but whose Hlomach won't let htm do his own smoking, keeps on lnnd a machine which pulls away on a cigar or pipe, pulls out the fragrant flavor and sends it curling around his head. When the Prince of Wales w.is married, mar-ried, Ai temus Ward gave him some practical hints as to how to manage Alexandra, founded on bis own experience ex-perience with J!cL?y Jane: "Now you're married, my boy," said he, "you can eat onionn." A wealthy gentleman, who owns a country seat, nearly kmt his wile, who loll into a river winch flows through bis entalii. J fe announced tlio lu. U) his friends, expecting lh-ir dtnr.itu-lations. dtnr.itu-lations. hieof tiiun an old bachelor bach-elor wrote a fuhuu's: "i always told you that river was UK shallow." " A writer in the ll.-iH-h C-!.nh. not s various instances of the trans nh.-siou oi idiocy into genius by head breaking accidents. What a vasi number of unappreciated Michac Angclos and "mute inglorious Mil tons" hierp the nightly tdrep of tin unjust in the celU of our police bta tiuns! |