FOU TI1K T. A DIES. j A woman has opened a billiard sa 1 1 j-iti in San Francisco Over sis thousand million pins arc u-cd in the United States each year. Two IV-ton irirl.s have recently become be-come paralyzed from the use of cosmetics. cos-metics. Kvcry woman is in tho wrong until she cries and then she is in the right immediately. A Chicago couple will celebrate their silver wedding in a hundred years. They were married February 2'.). Widow Fay of Oregon has set up a cigar manufactory, and her weeds are said to he the best in the Slate. Victoria Woodhull and Tennio Clal-tin Clal-tin are coin? to give a series ol'oratoii eal cin cans in Kurnpe. The man who paid hU deserted sweetheart a t hi.ni:-;ind dullard for breach of promise, called the money legal-tender legal-tender neies. A girl at Ulne K-irlh, Minnesota, eail.s nt her leap-year victim regularly every Saturday night, and goes' home alune after twelve o'clock. A li.uavtj (N.Y.) lady had her arms and hand.s puisuued ty u-ing a "prepar-alioit "prepar-alioit 1'uf cleaning .silverware," which die liad pureliased from a pedlcr. The lati-ht style of wedding (our is a tour round (he world, which can now Ix.: aocoiupllied in a lew months, and is some! liing lor a eouple to boast of all the re! of ih.-h- days. The woinnn-womcn claim that no instance in-stance of defalcation by women in the treasury department can be pointed out. That's probaUy because somebody always, ha; an eye on 'em. A man courtiiiK young woman was interrogated as tu his oceupat:on. " atu a paper-hanger on a large scale," he replied, lie va3 accepted as a suitor, and after marriage it was limnd that he was a bill sticker. A fashionable mother's advice to a newly married daughter: "o not get in lhe habit of taking your husband with you lo evening parties. Nothing is so stupid ns a husband at a party, nor so everlastingly in the way." A joyous damsel rushed into a citi-zcu'tf citi-zcu'tf arms at London bridge exclaiming: exclaim-ing: "Oh, you arc my long lost brother." bro-ther." She discovered her mistake, and rushed oil" in a confused manner, accompanied by her long lost brother's purse. As a wife was holding her husband's aching head in bet- hands one morning, she asked: "Arc a man and hia wile one?" "I suppose so," said the husband. hus-band. "Then," rejoined tho wile, "I came home drunk last night, and ought to be ashamed of myself." A forlorn individual perambulated the streets of Jioston a few days ago seeking lor a wile. lie sa d lie would give iifty cents to any one who would put him on tho track of a lirst-rate article, ar-ticle, and that he would furnish tho article, when he obtained it, with a home on a good iariu. A Boston girl, whose gallant on a ride, contrary to her wish, insisted on stopping at a tobacconist's for a cigar, took advantage of his leaving her mistress mis-tress of the situation and the vehicle to drive to her paternal abode, in front of which the abandoned one, some hours afterward, found his conveyance. Au indignant wife in Iowa gives notice no-tice that her husband has neglected to provide for his family, left her to cut wood tor tho lire while he loafed around town, and finally slandered her and lied the place. All persons are warned not to harbor or trust him on her account, ac-count, u.s she will not longer woik for his support or pay his bills.