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Show IXKLKXGS. A head-wind a sneete. Inn-deb ted ness a hotel bill. The best place for the blind the seaside. Admiration is the daughter of Ignorance. Ig-norance. Motto for sewing machines "Aa you dew, so shall you rip. ' ' Dr. Mary Walker has got a sweot spring pair of pants. When is a bow not a bow? ' When it U a bow-knot. Cheerfulness is the boat hymn to the Divinity. Is it possible for a frarret window to sufler room-attic panes ? So slowly does laziness travel that poverty soon overtakes it. ! Men, like boots, have at each end a blank leaf childhood and old age. ! To be dextrous in danger is a virtue; but to court danger is a weakness. A vivacious Texas woman was divorced di-vorced and re-married within five minutes. min-utes. ArrangeuitiuLs have been made to have l ho woman hooped who "burst out crying." Mr. T, Winkle having married Mies Stair, in Geoririarecently, the Savannah Savan-nah jNVtnt epitbalamizcs the pair with "T. Winkle, T, Winkle, little Starr." T he woman who is "worth her weight ih gold" isn't such a great match alter all. The average (feminine (femi-nine avoirdupois would only balance about $:t.rt,000 iu the precious metal. A change of bed-linen is an event of such rare occurrcneo in the domestic economy of a certain bo to I in a neighboring neigh-boring city, that it is triumphantly heralded on the bill of fair : "Clean sheets to day," "Ilore, waiter," saida gentleman as he was about leaving a hotel, "here's a dollar for you. I give it to you be-oause be-oause you have attended to my fire so well." "Thank your honor; may you live long, and may I havo the making of your firea hereafter." It is recorded of a venison and turtle-fed alderman of London that, on being importuned for alms by a starving starv-ing woman on the streot, esolaimed : "Go away, my good woman; you don't know how you distress me. I'd give ten pounds if I had your appetite." The Chicago Post says: "JJenjamin Franklin was 1GG years old yesterday. He appeared last evening at a spiritualistic spirit-ualistic circle, took up a copy of -the limcs, and glancing through it,hopped up and exclaimed, 'And I invented the printing press. What aD ass I was ! ' " . ".- A Brooklyn lady, whose husband has an unpleasant habit of railing at her, has hit upon the plan of calling in her servants when he begins to let out his temper, and then turning to him and saying sweetly, "Now, my dear, please go on with your remarks." lie doesn't go on, at least not as he began. be-gan. A negro preacher at a Georgia camp-meeting told his hearers that they could never enter heaven with whisky bottles in their pockets, and urged them to "bring them right up to the pulpit, and he would offer 'em a sacrifice to the Lord." The consequence conse-quence was that the good shepherd was in the evening so overcome by the spirit as to be unable to preach. |
