| OCR Text |
Show TO MARK A FAS1IIOVA IILE WO-ftlA.. WO-ftlA.. Take niucly pounds of flesh and bones but chiefly bones wash clean, bore holes in the ears and cut off the small toes bend tho back to conform to the Grecian bend, the Boston dip, tho kangaroo droop, tho Saratoga slope or the bull ft og break, as the taste inclines; then add three yards of linen, one hundred yards of rullles and seventy-five yards of edging, eighteen yards of dimity, one pair of silk or cotton hose with patent hip attachments, one pair of false caives, six yards of flannel, embroidered, one pair of balmoral boots with heels three inches high, four pounds whalebono in strips, seventeen hundred and sixty yards of steel wire, three quarters of a mile of tape, ten pounds of raw cotton or two wire hemispheres, hemi-spheres, one wire basket to hold a bushel, four copies of tho New York Herald (triple sheet), one hundred and lilty yards of silk or other dress goods, live hundred yards of point lace, fourteen four-teen hundred yards of fringe and other trimmings, twelve gross of buttons, one box pearl powder, one saucer carmine car-mine and an old hare's foot, ono bushel false hair frizzled and frottcd a la maniaiue, one bundle Japanese switches, switch-es, with rats, mice and otber varmint, one peck of hair pins, ono lace handkerchief, hand-kerchief, nine inches squaro, with patent holder. Perfume with ottar of roses, or sprinkle with nine drops of the ''Blessed Baby" or "West Knd." Stuff the head with fashionable novels, ball tickets, play bills and wedding cards, souio scandal, a great deal of lost time and a very little sage; add a half grain of common sense, three scruples of religion, and a modicum of . mode.-ty. Garnish with ear-rings, finger-rings, breast-pins, chains, bracelets, feathers and flowers to suit the taate. Pearls and diamonds may be thrown in if you have them; if not, paste and pinchback from the dollar store will do. Whirl all around in a fashionable circle and stew by gaslight for six hours. Great care should be taken that the thine is not overdone. It' it does not rise sufficiently, add more copies of the New York Herald. This dish is highly ornamental, and will do to put at the head of your table on grand occasions, but is Dot suitable for every -day u-e at home, being very espensivo and indigestible. It sometimes some-times gives men the heartburn and causes them to break, and is certain death to children. If you have not the ingredients at hand, you can buy the article ready-made ready-made at any of our large cities if you j have money mouth. Richmond En-1 jmrrr. |
