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Show Female Sninxgler. The female mind has a turn for smuggling. Show me a female, and I will show you a natural stuosrgler. I I knew a pious lady once who was sent to Havana on account of her heaiih. She was in the last stages of consump tion, and gave up the remaining lit'Je space allotted her in life to meditation and prayer. She returned in time, nowise strengthened in lungs, but greatly increased in weiebt. Alas ! the weight did not come frm healthy flesh. She had 2,XW) choice Havana cigars quilted in her petticoats. Thcst she gave te her spiritual adviser, a parson much addicted to smoking, and died in the odor of sanctity. Hei pious soul, let us eay, poetically, was wafted to heaven upon the fragrant ilouds of the parson's choice Havanas. She died in the noble discharge of her patriotic duty. Ah ! would that I knew a pious, patriotic lady, in the last stages of consumption, and just in from Havana. What edification I would get from her Christian resignation resigna-tion and choice cigars. While we were rattling from Canada through the wooden regions represented in the Senate by the wooden-headed Putty-faced Putty-faced old Influenza. I made tbe acquaintance ac-quaintance of an inestimable lady, sister to a Congressional duck, who told me confidentially that, through certain cunningly adjusted loops under ber voluminous skirts, she had carried over $2,00i worth of laces. Her rounded and graceful bustle contained a Russian sable muff, valued at SSOO. "Madam !" I cried, in the wildest enthusiasm, en-thusiasm, "permit me to seize your dexter continuation. Let me give it a rumporial vibration. You are a loyal, patriotic female. You have nobly done your dnty, and gone -far to confound con-found the oppressor. Continue, madam, mad-am, continue in your virtuous course, and a suffering country will bless you. I feel rebuked in your presence. But not being the sister of a Congressman. I had not the means to invest. Alas ! I am only a poor devil of a journalist. But go on, noble Roman matron; make of your fashionable wearing apparel a magazine of deadly ammunition to confound con-found and destroy the enemy." Don Piatt. |
