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Show INKLINGS. "What ails your eye, Joe?" "I told a man he lied." Why is a philantrophie effort like a blow aimed at a man's face ? Because it tends to hurnan-ise. llailways are aristocratic. They teach every man to know his own station, sta-tion, and to stop there. A company has been organized in Denver City for the purpose of erecting erect-ing smelting works in that city. "We all owe something to our country," said the man wljjp went abroad without having paid his income tax. Mr. .Iuniirf iys ho docsu'l likn lo commit himself to a "pieked-np din-Iner," din-Iner," unless ho knows where if was picked from. It was a wise nejiro who, iu speaking of tho happiness of married people, said, " Dat 'ar Spends altogether on how dey 'joy deyselves." . Tho observant Josh IJi'.lings says: " men scem to me now-a-days to be divided into slow Christians and wideawake wide-awake sinners." . . . ,. " Come here, you mischievous little rascal, you." " Won't you lick me, father?" "No." "Will you swear you won't?" " 1'es." "Then I won't como, for Parson Atwood says that he who swcars.mill lie. ' ' A candidate for medical honors, haying hay-ing thrown himself into a fever from his incapacity to answer the questions, was asked, " How would you sweat a person for rheumatism?" ' "I would send him here to be examined." The Paris Figaro endeavors to make "game" of carrier pigeons. It solemnly sol-emnly avers that one of them, which was shot while going into Paris with important dispatches, swallowed the same while rolling its eyes in its death agonies faithful and Frenehy to the last. A Frenchman attended a concert. When the performance, which had been execrable, was finished, ho, along with a few more, applauded. "Why do you applaud such dete.-table stuff?" said bis companion. It is not worthy of it. "Mon Dieu," said the polite monsieur, " I applaud because it ps ofcr." Catechism. Teacher " Who was the eldest eon of Noah ?" Little Girl " Japhet." ; , Teacher "Then why are they iinn-tionad iinn-tionad as Shem, Ham and JapUet?" Little Girl "Because the pconle there liked sandwiches, and therefore put Ham in the middle." A little boy who went to church was cautioned to remember the text, which was : " Why stand ye all the day idle ? Go into my vineyard and wurk, and whatsoever is right I will pay thee.', Johnny came home and was a.-ked to repeat the text. He thought ovor it awhile, and tin n cried out : "What d'ye stand round here doin' nulin fir ; jo into my barn-yard and work, I'd Biake it all rii;ht with you." |