Show HE RD ON THE SIDE Qne of the employe of an evening contemporary tells a story anent the coachman employed by Colonel Trum bo the leading Republican politician of Utah The colored man came into the office of the publication referred to and throwing down a half dollar remarked Let me lab fo papahs please Gazing Gaz-ing at the half dollar with a vision of hotel porters on his mind the attaches of the office sorted out the sheets and taking out a dime the rate given the news stands at the caravansaries handed he of the silk hat and brass buttons back 40 cents His sable jiggers jig-gers loftily passed over another dime and said with great dignity I imagine imag-ine sah that yo are mistaken in the man sah Is Colonel Trumbos coachman coach-man sah an we always pays de full rate fo everything cab And the paper man overawed by the occurrence occur-rence meekly submitted to a reduction In salary Councilman ATeara Is nothing if not funny sometimes His latest is in regard to bicycles At the meeting of the committee of the whole on Thursday night at which the wheel matter was so thoroughly discussed Mr Hardy moved that all bikes be taxed a dollar and a half per year This led OJfeara to rise to his feet with a proposition that tandems come in for double rates If a wheel built for one is to pay 150 said OMeara why not levy 3 on a bicycle built for two a Fisher Harris the genial clerk at the Knutsford is a poet Very few save a I select circle of friends are aware of i this but it is a fact just the same I He is just at work on An Ode to Spring An advance copy of the first stanza is already in type and reads The balmy days of spring have come And Joe nnd pretty Kate Can spend the pleasant evenings In swinging on the prate Canto II will be read in a few days more Salt Lake newsboys are in need of i a few lessons on the art of selling papers pa-pers Instead of rushing down the street crying the name of the journal they are vending and stating its price I if they would cry out the topics con I tained In its columns they would do a bigger business The average Salt I Lake newsboy gets an armful of papers i in the morning and taking a place on 1 a corner will cry for two hours Heres yer Herald and Tribune only I five half a dime when every man woman and child In Utah knows that every journal sold here costs a nickel One genuine Chicago lad could give the < whole outfit cards and spades I Take a boy on the Mail for Instance He will fight if need be for first place I I in the line and when he has got his j I papers starts out with a rush and a 1 I series of yells something like the following I fol-lowing Majl All about HIP murder j I at the Madison street bridge Man shot at the stock yards Two women killed at Logansport Ind Strike on the C B Q All about Cleveland going to Buzzards bay after catfish Anna Gould gets away with the < Johnny Crapeau Mayor Hopkins wont let the peelers arrest 3he gams Paper sir And by this time everyone on the street knows that the Mail has got something extra But here the nearest approach that one hears to a boy crying the contents of the paper Is All about the horrible murder only five The boy who gets on to the business right masters the > sIn s-In his paper and cries his news is going go-ing to make a hit There is one restaurant at which the horse editor of this paper frequently dines The horse editor is very fond of tomata ketchup catchup catsup or tomato sauce whatever the proper term is The cooking at the aforesaid establishment Is of a firstclass kind but the catsup ketchup catchup or tomato sauce is adulterated When the botltes get low the waiter Is prone to fill them with vinegar instead of pulling pull-ing a new cork As a result a man doesnt know whether he is getting vinegar or tomato sauce although the weight of the testimony is with the former The horse editor has directed the Heard on the Side man to serve notice that In future all hash foundries found-ries shooting virftgar into the tomato sauce will be boycotted even If he has to patronize Chinese cheap labor 5 5 Salt Lake Is now able to boast of some pretty good restaurants and its i a pity the proprietors do not pay more attention to the rights of some of their patrons In some of these restaurants res-taurants there are signs posted up No smoking at tbs counter This rule is a wise one for if there is one thing that will spoil the appetite of a man who doesnt smoke It is to have some duffer walk in take a seat alongside along-side of him and puff tobacco smoke into his face Of course no gentleman ever was or ever will be guilty of this offense |