| Show MINCE PIE DOWNED HIM The Horse Editor Snccnmbs to tJie Grcnt Pence Disturber I The horse editor who yesterday topic a day off mVirito the sarictum at jan f early hour this morning with a countenance JasOpallid as a tencent j salt bag Eiseyes were fixed in a i glassy stare fJ is Ups ashen his teeth chattering anciiiis form shaking liken like-n Arkansas ague patient Whats the matter old man tenderly I ten-derly inquired the religious editor between be-tween the horse editor and whom ex 1 ists R sort of fraternal feeling both being be-ing members of the Blue church been sick sickSick I Sick echoed the horse editor faintly yet with earnest emphasis I How did it come about pursued 1 the religious editor throwing the last three pages of a sermon into the wastebasket I waste-basket and taking a fresh chew Tell me Been bowling up a little I for Christmas eh Bowling up No sir ree I havent I drank enough to wet the bottom of awell a wash tub No it isnt drink i I that is the cause of my woe Get me some water will you he added faintly faint-ly but recovered in time to assert that he didnt want a bath when a gobletful was produced Ah Im better now ejaculated the sick man when he had sipped about enough of the colorless liquid as would I satisfy a thirsty canary Nooo no my boy its eating brings me here I want to warn people against the habitWhy Why I thought you had a digestion like an ostrich said the religious editor I edi-tor snipping off the text of a suspicious looking lot or typescript and adding the words Rev Soandso of such andsuch a church spoke on the above topic last night etc So I have dear boy so I have But an ostrich cannot digest everything and I do not claim any aige on the bird and one of the things I could not get away with I tackled yesterday So said the religious editor getting get-ting interested Yes sir was the rejoinder You see I had a day off My wife had purchased everything necessary for a big spread the day beforeturkey cranberries fruit bottle of wine oysters oys-ters and everything like that and When I got up in the morning she was as chipper as a 215 filly between the shafts of a pneumatic She says to me Ycu know hubby dear if you want togo to-go up town you can Dinner wont be ready till 4 oclock I am foxy enough to know a thing when I see it and I tumbled that she wanted a clear track on the trip so I jollies up to the stable and took a look at the filly by Rainbow > Rain-bow out of Madge who ws sired by Black Diamond out of that Corsair that Jenkins owned dam Mary J by Proudfoot and Say interrupted the religious editor edi-tor did that filly have anything to do with your being sick No was the reply in an injured sort of tone I was just tellin you about the filly Oh he added anew a-new light breaking in on him you want to know what made me sick i Cert I Well when I got through lookin at the filly I went over to Bay Billys I stall You know Bay Billy won the 214 at Los Angeles in 92 fine horse too Sired by Long Dm Long sententiously said the religious editor Tell me what alls you youOh Oh you want to know what made me sick 1 Yes Well as I was saying I gallled back home and maybe the old girl didnt have a spread Turkey baked breast downsay never allow your wife to bake a turkey breast up The other way is the best The juice gets into the breast then I learned that from Hank Smith who drove Little Nell the time she took first money from Bob Kneebs Royal Pheasant Sanders Old Lady and Jim Phelans Roxy in the freeforall in Omaha in 84 Little Nell was a fiveyearold by Rochester dam Albain out of Sweetheart Sweet-heart by Mambrino Patchen and See here interrupted the religious editor are you going to talk horse all night or are you intending to finish what you started upon Oh you want to know what made me sick Well I should say I did providing you get time to finish It up Well as I was saying she had cranberries mashed potatoes scalloped scal-loped oysters lemon pie apple pie several sev-eral kinds of pie orange cake and I laid in a feed for ninety days Every time Id tackle something new the old girl would look over any say Save a little room dear Ive got a surprise for you I saved it She brought on say what do you think she brought onWhat What eagerly inquired the relig ious editor Mince pie Three of em I tasted one and it was pretty near as natural as the ones I used to gebdown in the Salem circuit in Massachusetts That was the time when You Bet was pac ing with a runnin mate to trot the record You know You Bet Nat Brown owned him Sired by Oh come off Did the mince Die make you sick n Well as I was saying when you I stopped me They tasted natural and soak me if I didnt put a half one on top of all the rest of that stuff Then I set back and lit a cigar I began to grow Kind o sleepy and says to the old girl Sis Im goin to lop down on the sofa till 530 Wake me up then cause Ive got to write up McCoy new gelding and the mare for tomorrow tomor-row and she says all right So I lopped down Say do you know any thing about the process of digestion Not o word except digesting sermons ser-mons Well I never eat a sermon said the horse editor They are too dry fodder < for me But digestion is a won derful thing At least so they eay and I guess its true Well my gas gas gaEltro nomical apparatus tackled the turkey just as I dropped off to sleep The process of digestion mixed I With sleep however produces dreams There visions are governed by the victuals one has taken If ytru cat feed thats palatable you strike an easy < gait and step off lively without needing toe weights When the fodders a lltble wash you clip along with only an occasional oc-casional break but when you strike what I did you gt shut ou < t for running run-ning Well ac I was saying when the curtoey ibesusi to assimilate and change from gobbler into man had a plcnfc I went hick dome to the little village where I was torouErhtt up and waded in the creek just ae I used lev do when I tvae a towheaded kid I wentflshdn 4n eiks pond and clubbed red cores off jJley WilSons apple trees Took my best girl downthe rcntlqxast the tannery nfl picked a bucketful of fox grapes Dh I had a beautiful time But turk tur-k 1 dent last always and pretty soon i ai d the r p > med 0 N eiMi iof tJi WpiecebJJ f WV anninoepte v sttiicli j Jtlref e tlf utteR Things iswttictiigit1 ennie I right lth lThe5anw filf b Sitnot a cloud blackcr than ink The wind = Hle the tre M fell aajd fttf houses I mhlnwfliRT 1irriir oTK we lT hrMlSfl rn41ot tAP that pickejt workindbvn thd S itddThwgS got woc An rmy of D18 lfflli l fitciain2 up f om Jerom j Car pene s1 > arm awl tmroh onto lf me tttiep ullde4 merrefi feno i7nl and another fummoo a thr5O4tthOdlifOrk rlititx into the place witer ll S sbut i s fellows wind oflwh yOUj1Httt tp Just aJ out where the sedond tuttonpf your s y gG is Tliere rirust liave7ben forty thousand t6f em alfogethernd eveIY infcrrinl one fengnvemeeit least a > dozen > sgcbrt hard eond 1tivks Jv t os nx ch lelty AAai y ii can hold my end U P wiTh itit any > body 3it Icrawflslied I iiowiedand I kept iioyllnnnd ii I ue s ys ifeetjiojyJ ins tit the pW > woman thadntitaM Vhats the im3 4DT T rAim a rirl txrrtTr0t meun Say it took an ounce ofoil of rei2 permintto get me 01 m3ferWllen l It got my brrtii I asked I bfr where t got llvitrherneat SIC g1JE J5 UR tit t-it Ratl 9pap rWit Iell2 1 am goIng to iyer an any made tomorrow Tefl i the cty elTtnr Ill write the bay l filJyup for Thursdays paper f i |
